The Bound Dungeon

by wires12

Original Action Adventure Fantasy LitRPG Magic Male Lead Non-Human lead Strategy Supernatural
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

Pan was an ordinary boy, practicing to become a mage's apprentice. He lived at home, and worked for his parents. Until the day his family is attacked by a rogue necromancer and killed. Pan is kidnapped by the mage for his affinity for magic, and in a bizarre ritual, Pan's consciousness is transferred into a dungeon stone and bound by the necromancer to serve him and create an army of skeletons.


Now Pan has to find a way to escape the magical clutches of the rogue mage, and if he can accomplish that, survive.

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wires12

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Impaler
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Its one of the better dungeon stories on RRL.

This is literally the second best dungeon story I've ever read. It has a logical and understandable rate of improvement and none of the annoying pixies or gods to muck up the character's point of view. The character is focused and interesting making you side with him before you fully understand your own reasons.

mrttao
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This is absolutely wonderful. The prologue is well paced where usually in such stories it is a horrible boring slog you need to get through to get to the decent parts.

Unlike all those traditional "truck sama took out an obvious SI / otaku loser meant to represent the reader, which then some ROB gave a cheat and sent to reincarnate as a dungeon with all memories intact" you actually gave a plausible and reasonable scenario of a low ranking mage apprentice native of this world having his soul extracted by a necromancer to be used as an enslaved dungeon.

This is also coming with a natural source of tutorial (the necromancer master) as well as an antagonist (MC is a slave to a necromancer who killed him and wants to be free)

In short, brilliant take on what would otherwise be a tired old retread. The execution is mostly well paced, although I felt it is a huge shame that he couldn't talk back to the necromancer and that that phase didn't last longer and involve more intrigue.

I also love the fact that the grammar is impeccable. And some of the NPCs are really interesting.

theoglazer
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Not just another dungeon story.

This story has got to be one of my favourite on royalroadl. It's well written and exciting to read.

The main character is both enjoyable and interesting to watch. We get to see him deal with the hardships involved with the management of a dungeon and the new life he must live. However I hope that as the story progresses we will see a greater development in his emotions, such as an acknowledgment towards the absence of others he can trust as well as a greater understanding of his previous life and how that may effect him.

 

grammar wise I see no problems, however I am not one to judge in that prospect. All I can say is that the story is easy to understand, legible and has no obvious grammatical errors.

 

while dungeon stories are not new and this one does use many similar concepts as others it feels in no way similar, with the use of new ideas that make the story exciting and somehow seem to grab your attention in every single chapter. Three parts of this story interest me. Firstly his unique qualities that separate him from a normal dungeon,which I  hope will be embellished on as the story goes on, secondly the use of a dungeon store, which I believe that if used correctly could help influence the story greatly, so far the lack of abuse towards the store is somewhat refreshing and something I hope stays constant throughout the story as it's use could become similar to a crutch for the mc. Lastly the development of the world is something that is vastly important to a story's quality and while slow so far we can see that a picture of the worlds society and ideals is forming as more and more chapters are made, I believe that the author has so far succeeded in creating an interesting backstory and can't wait to see what happens next.

I am excited for the release of new chapters and believe that this story could become one of the top on royalroadl.com.

However I hope that the author does not fall into the same problem that plagues many writers on royalroadl.com, a decrease in the quality of the story as time goes on. I am adamant that this story is one you should read and i am excited for what we will see in the future.

p.s well done wires12 your story is amaaaaaazing:) and keep up the good work. The funny thing is I was going to do a small review😂.

PettyOfficer
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Focused, Funny, and Fair Fantasy

TLDR; It's like a good storytime tale before bedtime. A bit lengthy and graphic for kids, but it makes that up with its quality and realism. People need more of this in their lives, rather than the gorefests, sugar-coated tales, orgies, or pity-parties other people promote. Mindful instead of mindless.

 

It's clean, straight-up fantasy about a Dungeon. There's no guff about worldbuilding or nonsense in unrealistic and/or mushy relationships. Necessary details are not omitted and the reader can really relate to the complete story they are being told. Characters are more rounded and full than the plain stock or flat characters other authors use, i.e. they are more logical and cunning. No winded rant about morality. No random Over Powered characters roaming about nor plot holes I can find. No pervy moments, rape-fests, nor circumstantial harem candidates. The author listens to feedback. All-in-all, a polished fiction awaiting perfection.

Zarinthel
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My Favorite Dungeon Story

I like the way you put a lot of focus on how Pan acts as a dungeon and less on munchkining the system. Your imagery is vivid and really makes the story great. 

DarkD
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Great Start, but Loses Track of Itself as it Goes

As you'd expect from something called The Bound Dungeon, it starts off showing a necromancer enslaving a dungeon for his own ends.  Dungeon's don't like the idea of remaining obedient, so behind the scenes he starts planning how to free himself.  

The premise is great and the execution is quick and not the most thought out piece of writing I've ever scene. 

[spoiler]The biggest flaw is the fact that the dungeon does eventually free itself.  And rather quickly too.  This kinda defeats the entire purpose of calling the story "The Bound Dungeon".  A name like that implies that it's a recurring theme in the story, but the concept is sloughed off almost as soon as the story gets going.  [/spoiler]

This leads to the second part of the story, the one all of you dungeon fic readers are all to familiar with.  Someone reports the dungeon and a dungeon town props up.  The dungeon begins developing.  I'd say the style is closest to "The Cultivating Dungeon" (TCD). 

Comparing the two, I'd say TCD does a better job making the items interesting.  TBD (The Bound Dungeon) does a better job making the environments interesting.  They're both fairly good about creatures, but TBD limits itself to evolving creatures while TCD adds enchantments and potion usage to its creatures.  I'm still waiting for TBD to let it's monsters use potions.  

I also like how TBD doesn't seem to limit itself by hiding the fact that it's sentient.  Or at least, I'm not sure that it has.  

A major problem in recent chapters is the lack of a side character to interact with the dungeon.  The dungeon becomes a bit plainer without that presence.  I admit that the Slime Dungeon tried and failed with a lot of it's side characters, but the presence is absolutely necessary.  Especially contrasting personalities that compliment one another would be appreciated.  

The kingdom POVs tend to come up very flat.  I don't really feel like they're revealing anything that I care about.  Sure that guy owns the land, but then what?  I care about the dungeon and those things related to it.  I feel that character needs a stronger relationship with the dungeon to justify his having a separate POV.  It feels like you are trying to write two separate stories and trying to force them together.  Forcing us to read the boring one to get to the interesting one.  

The writing style is pretty good.  I would comment that you need to break up the paragraphs a little more.  Having short paragraphs in a novel is a good thing.  It makes the reading feel easier.  Even if the paragraph ends up being one sentence.  The point is to make shorter, but focused paragraphs that stick to one topic.

Necamijat
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It is good at first, but later chapters seem too unfocused and lifeless

The Bound Dungeon started out strong. The premise which could've been similar to any of the umteenth other dungeon stories somehow managed to pull through and be quite distinct, although I haven't read many other stories to judge.

The early chapters are great. Great style, likeable personality, no gods or excessive or imposed mechanics that these kinds of fics like to use. Even the side character POVs in the start are well done.

The grammar is well done, with a hint of typos here and there, but it's perfectly readable.

However, at a certain point, the story becomes dull. Paragraphs upon paragraphs of information that only pertains how the dungeon improves a bug, or a deer, or a fox. The interspersed action is told almost lifelessly, sapping any vigour or elation from the parts that were supposed to be fast and active.

Then, there's the side character POV in the later parts, which seems to hold little purpose (or connection to the main 'character') so far, and the ever present lack of interaction in the way of dialogue.

Majority of the chapters are pages upon pages of descriptions, with only a line or two of dialogue, if at all. And the biggest hurdle is that you can't put dialogue there, since those same pages contain nothing but descriptions and characteristics.

Sure, the style of said descriptions is well done, but in the end, I found myself skipping paragraphs simply because when you call something a Stone Centipede, I don't really require an encyclopaedia level knowledge on how it's made.

Also, there seem to be some pacing issues, where the narration would be about some event or progress that happened over weeks, completely ignoring the fact that a mere chapter ago, development was done over hours.

Overall, I'd recommend this story to those that are looking to improve their descriptions and world building. For those that enjoy more character-focused stories, I'd suggest you keep looking, unless this fiction changes hugely.

Kirlic
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I have a hard time finding awesome dungeon stories like this please continue If there was any grammar mistakes i didnt notice them. But the sotry is really good and i like how Pan acually acts like how i think a dungeon would, hating any being that dares com into thier domain.

VeryLameWebNovel
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This novel is good. Well paced, interesting, well written. The setting, although nothing incredibly original (it's a Dungeon story after all) is made really well. It has logic, is paced correctly and shaped without devolving into a mess of jambled ideas. I especially liked the side-characters, even more than the protagonist. The use of different POV during some chapters really adds to the story.The only flaw I found is the lack of chapters. I have read all twenty published here on Royal road, and...I...need...more XD

Five stars in all categories, each of them well earned. Keep up the good work!

Nimasaur
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One of the better dungeon stories

The story has a good pacing, it doesn't feel rushed like many dungeon stories, the mc isn't an idiotic perverted dungeon core, no fairy/companion bullshit from the getgo. It is more creative than most dungeon stories but not that much more, it does freshen up the concept a little at very least without going over the top.

The writing is also very good as well as the style. Where this fiction suffers is in it's story and character department. However, the story is currently introducing more characters and developing them. Before it was basically MC does work stuff except for dealing with the necromancer, no interaction or barely any development(unless you count embracing more of his dungeon side).

The major gripe is with the story however, it's getting repetitive and unimaginative. The intro was decent, the developing city is a bit common in dungeon stories and could be built more upon, we also have John and his group.

However, what we've had other than that so far is(spoiler) first some adventures trying to steal the core, then some mages later on instead trying to destroy the core, and now it will be a full on invasion by mages trying to destroy the core & city. The whole subvert/control/destroy the core storylines are okay & realistic from the story perspective, but it's slightly dull and repetitive.

Still this is clearly above the average of a dungeon story and I'm enjoying very much so far, hopefully with introducing new characters and after the new try of destroy the dungeon the story will move on to better things.