Queen of Devouring

by CorpseDead

Original Adventure Drama Fantasy Romance Anti-Hero Lead Female Lead Grimdark LitRPG Magic Male Lead Martial Arts Multiple Lead Characters Non-Human lead School Life Strong Lead Supernatural
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

Word Count: 263 186 and 1040 pages. I guarantee one chapter per week. (8-10k words per chapter)

Synopsis:

Do you fear shadows? Elena was born of shadows. Although her name means exactly the opposite of it, is there a shadow without a bright sun?

But she soon had to find out that there was an apocalypse, and she was supposed to be the evil monster against the humans. The humans, who were mere mortals not long before her birth. Little did anyone know that she was a legendary creature, who had nothing to do with the apocalypse, which reason of was unknown. What was it? That was something everyone wanted to know. There was a reason for her birth, though, which must stay a secret.

Will she find her own goals as well or has she no way to stop before her final destination? Follow her blood and manipulation filled path to see.

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I thank BlackStarLine and CounterOfKills for helping me in editing my chapters! :)

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I hate tragedy, rape, and NTR, so you are never going to see either of those.

P.S:. I downloaded the cover picture from DeviantArt. All credit goes to its original owner. Madelyn Black re-colored their eyes. I thank her for that. :)

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CorpseDead

CorpseDead

Darkness dwells in us.

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Volume 1: The Apocalypse: Chapter 0 - Another Cycle ago
Volume 1: The Apocalypse: Chapter 1 - A new bond, a new friend ago
Volume 1: The Apocalypse: Chapter 2 - Signs of Trouble ago
Volume 1: The Apocalypse: Chapter 3 - Unfolding Trouble ago
Volume 1: The Apocalypse: Chapter 4 - A Blood Drinker's Cruelty ago
Volume 1: The Apocalypse: Chapter 5 - People come in many shapes ago
Volume 1: The Apocalypse: Chapter 6 - What is my goal? ago
Volume 1: The Apocalypse: Chapter 7 - I am the Devourer ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 8 - A new world ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 9 - Taking the first steps ago
Recap ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 10 - Trouble ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 11 - Cutting the Loose Ends ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 12 - Walking Corpses ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 13 - The corpses are lining ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 14.1 - The piles are growing ago
Illustrations ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 14.2 - The piles are growing ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 14.3 - The piles are growing ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 14.4 - The piles are growing ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 15.1 - The Blood is Flowing (Has 18+) ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 15.2 - The Blood is Flowing ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 15.3 - The Blood is Flowing ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 16.1 - The Dark is Extending ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 16.2 - The Dark is Extending ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 16.3 - The Dark is Extending ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 17.1 - The Light is Fading ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 17.2 - The Light is Fading ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 17.3 - The Light is Fading ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 17.4 - The Light is Fading ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 18.1 - The Weapons are Inspiring ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 18.2 - The Weapons are Inspiring ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 18.3 - The Weapons are Inspiring ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 19.1 - The Heads are Soaring ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 19.2 - The Heads are Soaring ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 19.3 - The Heads are Soaring ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 20.1 - Nothing is Left ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 20.2 - Nothing is Left ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 20.3 - Nothing is Left ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 21.1 - Even the Light Left ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 21.2 - Even the Light Left ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 21.3 - Even the Light Left ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 21.4 - Even the Light Left ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 22.1 - With the light of this new day ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 22.2 - With the Light of this new day ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 22.3 - With the Light of this new day ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 23.1 - This Night Shall Prevail ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 23.2 - This Night Shall Prevail ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 23.3 - This Night Shall Prevail ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 24 - Echo (Contains descriptive sex) ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 25.1 - Fixing Things ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 25.2 - Fixing Things ago
Volume 2: Rebellion: Chapter 25.3 - Fixing Things ago
Volume 3: Sealed World: Chapter 26.1 - Mark of the Wild ago
Volume 3: Sealed World: Chapter 26.2 - Mark of the Wild ago
Volume 3: Sealed World: Chapter 26.3 - Mark of the Wild ago
Volume 3: Sealed World: Chapter 27.1 - Captured in numerous ways ago
Volume 3: Sealed World: Chapter 27.2 - Captured in numerous ways ago
Volume 3: Sealed World: Chapter 27.3 - Captured in numerous ways ago
Volume 3: Sealed World: Chapter 28.1 - Prisoners or spies? ago
Volume 3: Sealed World: Chapter 28.2 - Prisoners or spies? ago
Volume 3: Sealed World: Chapter 28.3 - Prisoners or spies? ago
Volume 3: Sealed World: Chapter 29.1 - Dark Scars ago
Volume 3: Sealed World: Chapter 29.2 - Dark Scars ago
Volume 3: Sealed World: Chapter 29.3 - Dark Scars (18+) ago
Volume 3: Sealed World: Chapter 30.1 - Poison shopping ago
Volume 3: Sealed World: Chapter 30.2 - Poison shopping ago
Volume 3: Sealed World: Chapter 30.3 - Poison shopping ago
Volume 3: Sealed World: Chapter 30.4 - Poison shopping ago
Volume 3: Sealed World: Chapter 31.1 - Spreading Fear ago
Volume 3: Sealed World: Chapter 31.2 - Spreading Fear ago
Reviews

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Parpaing
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Don't mistake the tags, this isn't an anti-hero story, or a gray moral compass character; this is is a full-fledged evil protagonist, I feel like I'm reading some story's antagonist's origin story. The MC feels overbearing and kills or beats up anyone who dares say something which could be interpreted negatively, like some sort of decently written xianxia throw-away baddie. (ex :"Uhm… there was a huge explosion a few hours ago and after contemplating on it for a short while, we decided to enter the forest and find out its cause. We were hoping that we would find something good,” interrupting him, a guy chimed in, “Which we did, hahaha!” - “Shut up!” ") He made a joke and died for it, which makes me wish for some dense rom-com cheat protagonist to beat her down, break her hubris and add her to his harem.

That was how I feel about this protagonist, which should tell you whether this is your kind of character or not, if you can cope with that kind of absurdness.

Now for the story itself, the MC starts her life by joining a human community, which she joined on a whim, but later on justifies it as her joining a community to mature more quickly, her not ever mentioning it the instant she met humans just feels like the author retconned the beginning to fit where the story is going.

We don't know anything about the MC's goals other than she wants to be on top and become the number one being in the world, which makes me question her actions at the start when she waited to be high level to kill the human community she first joined to the point where she gains scraps of exp when she could have killed them earlier on and have them actually serve the purpose of giving her stats when the risk wouldn't increase since she's so overpowered.

About the power system: 

It's broken, Audrey's class is plain broken, she can kill anyone or anything because she has access to interdimmensional travel, can disintegrate anything with her void magic, which could even kill the most magic resistant fighter that exist by just creating a void bubble around the person and draining the air.

Elena's power is also broken, she can change the mind of anyone, except for some arbitrarily chosen people; which makes me wonder why she doesn't just stick around extremely strong people and make them into her slaves and conquer the world. Maybe it wouldn't be so broken if mind changing abilities existed in other cases than her, I get it she's a legendary being, but there should exist others, and even maybe have extremely strong humans that possess them, even more so considering what she did to acquire the skill which is literally "Drink the blood of your enemies and enjoyed it" and it makes people think like her and subordinate themselves.

There's also the fact that the original world they lived in was about to be broken for some bs reason. Oh so time flows differently in two different places ? Guess the world will break soon because reasons. The author said it was because the solar system was too old so it would spontaneously break then reform, I guess physics isn't his forte.

The style and grammar are both solid in most places but have some weak points, which have already been cited by other people so I won't cover them.

M3M0RY_Err0r
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A great read. (Currently at Chapter 15)

To start off things. I give all five stars to balance the stupid reviews.

Otherwise: Style: 4.5 >> Story: 5 >> Grammar: 4 >> Character: 5

Style, Grammar:

I don't have too much to say about this. Corpse Dead is writing in third person POV this time. Although there are problems, the author's style is good. The tables/windows are clean and well-defined. The MC and the side-characters are lovable. Just like many others, I like Audrey a lot. After reading a lot from this author, I know that he prefers to show yet hide the things at the same time.

There are small signs or a few sentences, leaving behind clues, but if you don't get them, you will stay in the dark. Don't misunderstand me, it isn't hard to understand if you aren't stupid.

I have seen a review here, telling that grammar was 1.5 stars, even though there are no real mistakes. Nice job... There are a few sentences which don't make much sense but not at the parts where they really count.

Either way, there are no real problems with the grammar, except for a few of these weirdly worded sentences. But they are far from being as terrible as stated above/below. If you aren't native, I'm a hundred percent sure that you won't have any problems with it. Edit: The later chapters don't have this problem (after 8th). Probably because of the editors. We are reading for free. This isn't a bookstore.

Story:

As usual, one of the strongest points of this Author. Don't be mistaken. This isn't a story about grinding and leveling. It might feel like that at the first sight or you might be annoyed by the tables at the start, but all of these will be cleared. The number of the tables per chapter reduced dramatically.

The leveling and grinding feeling is only because this is the start of the novel. The author showed how the system works, which is completely fine in my opinion. But to be honest, even if it was just a grinding novel, I'd enjoy it. Later about this.

Elena is born with a humanoid shape. If you came for the pure evolution, like from a worm to a dragon, then this isn't the novel for you. The evolutions are more personality related. Seeing their abilities, I'm quite sure that the characters will be a little similar to doppelgangers.

At the first few chapters, the novel is focused on sketching out the characters and the world/world system, in the middle of an apocalypse. The best is that Magic doesn't just happen and they aren't just your usual Elemental Magic. Every Magic that is used is explained. Although I don't mind if it is being left to my imagination, there are people who love this and I don't frown upon seeing it either.

What you might misunderstand is the following: Everyone can use the basic elemental magic in the world they were born at. You don't know the size of this world (I do because of his other novel) but that is only the beginning. So don't cry and be mislead by this thing. Elemental Magic is the bottom of everything. What is again very good, the characters create their own magic.

So the whole system of Magic is on the top of a pile of understanding and reasoning. But you will be surprised in the 8th chapter if you still mind this elemental magic for everyone. I advise you to don't stop reading before reaching it.

I haven't seen plot holes up till now, so that's again a good point. One last thing here. If you feel annoyed by how Elena learns from Audrey and doesn't do too many things herself, then you will be surprised again. She will learn and create her own Magic (Chapter 8) and is showing signs to learn more. As I see it, she will turn much more active after leaving behind the apocalyptic world.

This will turn more into a kingdom building, characterising and maybe political novel than just a simple grinding/leveling. I recommend against making assumptions too quickly. :P

Character:

Again a very good point. I Luv the characters. All of them. Elena might seem simple at the first sight, but as you keep reading, you will realize that she is a manipulative, sneaky bastard. A really good Anti-Hero and the thing she did in the seventh chapter. Haha, let's say that the word 'Devour' isn't for nothing in the title.

People aren't 2D and don't react stupidly or in an unrealistic way to the things around them. They also have their motives, goals, thoughts, and emotions. The 12th chapter had a nice character development for Elena and there will be more later on, for Dred and the side characters too.

The only problem you could have. In the 5th chapter, she will reveal one of her goals, while the other one (the main) will stay hidden. This could be annoying, but just read the 12th chapter and you will lose your annoyance since it will be revealed, along with a nice character development.

Like I said before, Elena is very manipulative. Best off is that those who drink her blood will turn into her loyal blood servants and gain great strength in return. They even have their own roles, which is very cool.

Spoiler: A few things about this blood servant part.

The side characters are very good. Audrey was built up so well, that sometimes I question myself, thinking that she should be the secondary MC... Sorry! lol

Dred doesn't talk much, but he is still likable for some reason. Maybe it is because of when and how he talks. A good one either way. I suspect that he will turn more active in the future as well. Edit: He started talking more and I'm liking him too.

 

Added: I'm happy to that her opponents aren't retarded and can think on their own. I wonder what will happen with Sally and the city now and the Kingdom too. I'm looking forward to read more.

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Thanks for the read and keep up the good work.

p.s. to Parpaing: What the hell are you talking about? You cut out the start and end of numerous conversations to make it have no sense or what? The fall of the planet was explained too later on. You were reading another novel or I don't know. I could comment on too many reviews here...

Hon202
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Review by a novice critic Hon202

Preliminary assessment based off chapter 1 and my understanding of the author, CorpseDead. This is my personal opinion and I frankly don't care if you disagree, however, if you believe i made a gross error somewhere in this review please PM me so I may adress it.

Overall: I for the most part enjoy this story so far. I found 2 occasions that the grammer was faulty to the point of having difficulty understanding what CorpseDead meant, but as an author who is open to comments on such points and promptly fixes them I have no true complaints as I never expect a story to be prefect. I happen to agree with CorpseDead when it come to OP characters which makes this story all the more enjoyable to me.

Style: I gave a 3 star rating because I consider word choice, sentence structure, figurative language, and sentence arrangement to be roughly average when compared to the other stories I have read. There are some problems with word choice on occasion, but most come done to personal preference and regional dialect.

Grammar: I gave a 4 star rating because there are few to none major grammatical errors and the minor grammatical errors don't affect the readers understanding of the story. While others might focus on the minor errors, I tend to not notice minor errors while reading unless I look for them. Therefore, I have given a 4 star rating which might be high, but is what I think fits this novel so far.

Story: I understand that there is currently only one chapter out which limits the developement and breadth of the story so far. However, the first chapter was already dragging me in. I expect it to continue to do so based off my understanding of the way CorpseDead writes from reading all of what has been released of What is it like to be Eternal.

Character: I already feel a conection with both Elena and Dred. I can't imagine that changing anytime soon. With the minimal characterization that has occur in the first chapter I believe CorpseDead to be going in the right direction and to be well on his way there. The main charaters at the very least will be OP and if you don't like that then this is not the author for you. 

Note to CorpseDead: While I love a good OP main character i believe there is still a line that shouldn't be crossed on the scale of OPness. If you go to far then the story becomes to predictable so be careful.

darkseven
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An interesting story marred by poor writing

Edit: The Author has informed me that later chapters have improved editing and my review may no longer be accurate, at least as far as later chapters go. I'm looking to find time to give the story another shot.

 

The story itself is interesting. Unfortunately readers will have to push through a lot of poor writing to get to it.

There's no one thing that's wrong. Instead there are consistent grammatical errors, awkward phrasing, and misused words which make reading somewhat of a chore.

 

Here are some quick examples. In these examples the meaning of what's written can usually be understood, but the way its conveyed is extremely awkward.

 

"Naturally, she stood far from death as it wasn’t her goal…"

"Elena thought, not understanding how was intelligence the forte of this monster."

"while shouting in a low voice."

"He was a sixteen looking teenager"

 

Feuer der Veraenderung
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Outdated

It somehow doesn't hook me. The character interactions feel akward and for beeing a Progenitor Shadow she looks to flexible in magical terms:

Progenitor Shadow sounds more like she is a elemental beeing of darkness, but she has affinity for all magic types?

 

At the other side the Bluescreens are very clean, the grammar seems very good to and it seems like the author has thought about how he connects the stats with reallife (he told at one point how big the cutting force of Elena with a knife is).

 

But my main problem with the story is that there is nothing unique or interesting as of now:

There seems to be no drama coming.

The MC is too human like.

The bluescreen system seems to have nothing particular interesting

I doubt that there will be evolutions

 

I think most of the story will be about grinding and maybe dungeon diving or something like this. There are people out there which like this but I feel bored by this.

DarkWereling
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Still early in the story, but I have enjoyed it so far. I'd like to see a bit more interaction between the two MCs. The system is interesting so far with how it effects the people in their lifes. Like the way people are portrayed, selfish and too willing to double cross each other if they see the smallest hint that they could gain something. The two MCs are op but not to the point that nothing can harm them. 

Tason
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Another good read in its own style of way.

The style of the story is smooth and enjoyable, quite exciting especially along the way as we learn and see what choices the author makes as time passes and things heat up and cool down.

The grammar is good over all, few points that could use work but mainly there isn't much to any trouble understanding or at least in most of our minds what the author means or is leaning towards.

 

The story is similar to many but once again we've scored in this one having a touch all to its own. A species that only ever has one pair at a time in existence and there is always a pair of them, once one dies another is born. The memories of those that came before pass on to the the newest pair to strengthen there chances of survival and most of all growth as time passes by.

 

The characters have so far been quite a few in a way but mainly just the main characters as of this moment, still the work on them is good and things continue to progress for them and those they encounter, although those that meet them don't always live to tell about it.

Each one has there clearly defined personallity and manners they choose to commit to. Got to love how they act at times as well as how they tease each other, although I strongly feel for the guy several times but he's just easy to tease so no helping there!

 

A young/new story and similar in many ways to other stories but also unique in its own style, something I'm glad we've seen a lot of of late here. This is one to take a shot at and see if you'd enjoy waiting for new chapters to come out.

I know I bookmarked it shortly after finding it.

 

DDclash
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If you are dead inside will you count as living?

One of the best authors in my opinion, I suggest you to read What Is It Like To Be Eternal? if you enjoy this novel, so that you can see how this world work, those novels both are very good, author have a unique way of writing, I enjoyed both of his novels, enjoy them too.

Uriel
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Not a very good writer

It's a really good story, and a really good idea, but just a weird writer. He constantly over explains things and the interactions between the characters when he wants to explain the explanation just seem unnatural or forced.

Grammar is really good, I won't bash that and the story is still understandable, but it's slowly losing its already pretty vague plot. 

Some other flaws include how characters know something they shouldn't have just so the author can add it into their story, and the weirdly written sex scenes, which for some reson he adds sound effects??? Plus the overuse of adjectives and adverbs. 

Other than that, great story bro!