Dante's Immortality

by Idlefiber

Original Fantasy Romance Tragedy Grimdark Harem LitRPG Magic Male Lead School Life Strong Lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

Dante doesnt know where he came from and is ostracized as a demon because of his appearance.  However he has hope, a gift from the Goddess could be his key to freedom.  Every year any boy or girl who reaches the age of 14 can receive the blessing of the Goddess and the Status.  The Status allows them to freely manipulate the world essence around them and be strengthened through it (yeah, its a status screen). 

Pretty much the rest of the synopsis is the prologue, please read it and tell me what you think.  I tagged some of the elements i plan to implement in the story, so check there.  Also i left gore, profanity, and traumatising content in because i plan on going a little dark at times in the story let me know what you guys think on that.

Im a big reader but this is the first thing that ive written (may suck) go easy on me and give me all the critique you can.

cover is some fanart for devil may cry.  I couldnt track down original creator (just a bunch of repost) but if the author is out there, message me if you want me to take it down or give credit

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Idlefiber

Idlefiber

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Shitty map (not chp) ago
List of names, houses, and places ago
Prologue ago
Chapter 1 ago
Chapter 2 ago
Chapter 3 ago
Chapter 4 ago
Chapter 5 ago
Chapter 6 ago
Chapter 7 ago
Chapter 8 ago
Chapter 9 ago
Chapter 10 ago
Chapter 11 ago
Chapter 12 ago
Chapter 13 (Edited) ago
Chapter 14 (new) ago
Chapter 15 ago
Chapter 16 ago
Chapter 17 ago
Chapter 18 ago
Chapter 19 ago
Chapter 20 ago
Chapter 21 ago
Chapter 22 ago
Chapter 23 ago
Chapter 24 ago
Chapter 25 ago
Chapter 26 ago
Chapter 27 ago
Chapter 28 ago
Chapter 29 ago
Chapter 30 ago
Chapter 31 ago
Chapter 32 ago
Chapter 33 ago
Chapter 34 ago
Chapter 35 ago
Chapter 36 ago
Chapter 37 ago
Chapter 38 ago
Discord server ago
Chapter 39 ago
Chapter 40 ago
Chapter 41 ago
Chapter 42 ago
Chapter 43 ago
Chapter 44 ago
Chapter 45 ago
Chapter 46 ago
Chapter 47 ago
Chapter 48 ago
Chapter 49 ago
Chapter 50 ago
Chapter 51 ago
Chapter 52 ago
Chapter 53 ago
Chapter 54 ago
Chapter 55 ago
Chapter 56 ago
Chapter 57 ago
Schedule Update ago
Chapter 58 ago
Chapter 59 ago
Chapter 60 ago
Chapter 61 ago
Reviews

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King_Frost
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Early stage of a possible great story.

Edited and now at chapter 34.

Still giving an half-star as encouragement.

The story is good. Nothing as a whole new but not bad either. We've seen the usual cliché trope but the author still have some unique elements that are pretty cool.

What I have difficulty is the characters, especially the Mc. We know next to nothing about him. It's like poof, here you go a 14 years old mc. And I'm not just talking about background here but mentality, personality, views and others. Was he orphan from the beginning? Did he have to steal? Any friends? Did he worked for food? Did he have to kill? What about relationships? We start with a mc that we can't just put ourself in it's shoes. From all we know a mc that lived ostracized for all his life would probably not turned out how it is pictured. Way too sane, too confident, too.. good. I think what I wanna say is that without knowing where he came from I just can't see how he got there. And it bothers me. Like a lot.

Also, I couldn't give a crap about 95% of side characters. I don't know if the author wants to do an Mc VS the world type of feeling but it just seems like he is surrounded my enemies. On one hand it makes sense and it is realistic in a harsh world like that, but on the other hand it is just lacking something. A sidekick, a confident, an ally hell even a fucking pet would be good. The only characters that I actually like are Mia and Archie. And one of them disappear after a few chapter.

On a more positive note, I really like the world building. A lot of unique stuff and you feel the strongs eat the weaks vibe. Can't get all flower and unicorns in a world like this which is generally the case with op mc. The author also made a map which, albeit of poor quality, is nice to have.

Also, many things are not covered and explained. Either left for the audience to guess or just that it would be explain later. Can't decide if it is a good point or not. On one hand it add mystery but on the other hand I feel like i lack variable to make assumptions.

The grammar is also pretty good and the story as a whole is well written. A few plot hole(which most  were fixed) but it doesn't really affect the story. Grammar wise I would consider it at the higher tiers of RRL.

All in all I would recommend this story. Nice story and I expect it would only get better.

On a more personal note I saw the Harem tag. Please be careful and don't fuck up your story for a shitty romance with side characters bitches that only acts as cheerleaders and are only there to want his D. Harem is an art and a bad one would just destroyed everything that you built. **(Did this comment for first review at chapter 12 and I have to say that even if I don't like characters at least they are not shallow.)

SPOILER ALERT: Read at your own risk. In a poll of harem girl possible you put Layla and kayla. Just so you know that I hate both of them with passion. I don't understand why Kayla is even there. Oh I'm sure there's a reason and it's more of a personal rant and you should take it with a grain of salt but.. damn I don't like their characters. It's not even that Layla is a control freak bitch or kayla is a manipulative slut but more that they don't make sense. There's a million better ways for Layla to get what she wants but she used these dumb ways. Sure she is young but aaaaarg... whatever.

Keep up the good job Idlefiber, you're doing great!

King out!

johnopedia
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Solid LitRPG and strong world building

This review is as of chapter 8.

I put off reading this story hoping for a few more chapters before digging in. I'm actually glad I changed my mind and started it.  A long chapter a day is a brutal pace for any author, and it would be understandable if there were lots of spelling and grammar mistakes. So far that hasn't been an issue.  The regular updates and the glimpses of what may be coming have me anticipating each new release.

This story is litRPG, so there are things like charater classes, class upgrades, experience (called world essence), gear, dungeons, etc.  In this case all these things seem to have a bit of a twist on the standard that keep it interesting.

There's also the standard orphan, ostracized kid who's destined for greatness trope.  Yes, it's been done before, but so what, stories like this are escapism.  The kid starts out as green and wet behind the ears but learns fast and is boosting his wisdom rapidly, so we'll get to see how that turns out.

All in all, I'm enjoying the story and hoping it continues for a complete story.

Aspartame
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While binge reading this, I chose to disregard the cringy content. Now that I'm up to date and reading them individually, I'm finding the individual character decisions impossible. Who would willingly choose to be INSIDE a meat grinder? If any individual had to choose between instant death and figuring it out on their own, they would figure it out on their own. This academy arc is bull, and should, by all rights, be a ghost town. No one would go to this academy. No one would be capable of surviving this academy. No one would invest in people just to kill them. Not even the Romans were this stupid. It's bad math. It could only exist as a microcosm being forcibly supported by much much larger organizations. Organizations significantly larger than the Roman Empire. Organizations of those sizes don't exist in this book, and they are too far apart if they do.

Guimaros
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Awesome history, captivated me.

I've never commented on any novels on royal road, but this one I have to. I'll tell you, we've got an awesome history here, with a lot of potential.

This review is as of chapter 9.

Elins
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Nice read, fast releases and some future potential

Edited at chapter 39:

Similar to many other novels, we follow the poor orphan boy underdog, as he gets his cheat and and takes this chance to become the strongest/greatest.
The cheat is done nicely and should be balanced throughout the story. Info about the cheat in the spoiler.

Spoiler: Spoiler

Progression of the story can be a bit bumpy, but it's good to read and the author gets better as the story goes on.

About Dante: While still being a bit spongy and hard to grasp, he does make for a likable character and there has been some development already. 
Since he doesn't know a lot about the world, the reader learns bit by bit with him about the world, how mana and world essence work and all that. 

Side characters are not done badly, but some just vanish for a bit, sometimes they do things that are out of character, sometimes they are clearly just written tools for the MC to progress.

Spoiler: Spoiler

It's not up to the point that it's very bothering, overall it does fit together. Does not make for a bad story, but certainly dampens the reading fun.

In a nutshell: This is a fun to read and it has potential, a new region can bring a whole lot of new adventure every time the MC advances. Also the author is clearly putting a lot of work in it, rewrites chapters where he feels are potential plotholes, changes things to make them more plausible and cares for the opinions of his readers. Just don't expect too much from the characters.

Axelord
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Read one chapter. Stopped, tentatively interested.
Read three chapters. Stopped again because life is busy.

Then I read 40 chapters in one sitting. I'll be tired working tonight, but I feel like it was worth it. I see the update frequency is good. I like the setting, and I like the characters. Maybe not so much how people have a tendency to die so easily, but life is cheap in this story it seems.

I'm fine with all that. At 40+ chapters when I picked this up, I think it was the best moment to get into it. Really pleased, I highly recommend Dante's Immortality.

MrMnds
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The hell man, you create such a good start to bring that school crap. I know some people love to read about schools but it's rude to get rid of a character with a serie of unjustified bad decisions.

Long story short: MC receives powers - flees - goes to school to have no friends - tries to power up - f**ks everything in one go because two people he barely knew got killed... Are you insulting your readers' intelligence?

TheCreator
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its an enjoyable read so far however if you dislike stories where the mc is a bit of a baby even thought he was growing up in such a tough situation (which by the way makes no sense because anyone i know that had a situation like the mc's obviously not that terrible but they would usually be tough as fuck due to suffering through all that shit) then you will probably find the mc annoying. In my opinion the MC is a little to naive however that being said i am enjoying the story and think that this author has the potential to grow this story into a very exciting read for the community

P.S. Keep in mind the above review was made when there was only 16 chapters, and the author in a recent chapter(20) has stated that he has plans for 2 big character changes, in the future Dante's being one of them

Mezhanos
  • Overall Score

Amazing character and delightful world building

As of chapter 16 the story has been just amazing. With solid world building and a likable character this is one of those rare " gems " you can come across in this site. 

The MC is an orphan of unknown origins that finally got his lucky break after he gets his classes. His classes turn out to be extremely rare and even unheard of ( so far in the story ) and instead of turning into an arrogant dick who wants to kill everyone he wants to get strong and to be better than those that tormented him. An amatuer reviewer like me cannot highlight all of the good things in this story so all I got to say is READ IT. ITS GOOD !

TheLoneMerc
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Great LitRPG, Has true potential, Worth the read

Review at Chapter 18

Dante's Immortality has been a great read so far. The grammar being well done whilst the use of vocabulary works well in sync with the story depicted. It has so far been real interesting considering how things are going. The pace is also well done for a litRPG novel although it revolves around the same concepts as other novels and is perhaps similar in some minor elements. The characters are also not as 2 dimensional as some other novels i've read so far on my time on royal road and are interesting to learn about.

The main thing however is the regular daily updates of content that keep me hooked to no end which is what I truly respect. Thanks for the great read so far ;)