It’s always the same with humans. They always want you to say want they want to hear and not what you have to say.
At the first encounter you are polite, maybe even funny or a little bit sarcastic, but you are never honest.
If the person is annoying as hell you ignore it as good as you can, just to be polite and friendly as fuck, so that no one feels hurt or is offended.
Even more so if that person is a friend of a friend and you meet up to go out to drink.
Cause you don’t want to ruin the mood or even your friendship.
But that isn’t practical bad in itself. In some cases your friend realizes that you can’t stand the other person and tries to avoid you ever meeting the annoying person ever again.
The problem is when your friend doesn’t realize it and starts to believe that you had fun and invites the other person more and more often.
Or even worse they now that you can’t stand that person but invite him/her, or whatever you want to call it, because they try to be nice, want to bang this fucking person or whatever reason they might have.
At this point it gets really tricky. You can’t tell them that you can’t stand that person, because you don’t want to be the “bad person” in the group.
So what do you do?
Go along with this whole shit and try to get accustom to the situation?
The problem with this solution is, at some point you start hating meeting up with your friends and you lose all interest in them. What will lead you to distancing yourself from the group.
Another option would be to search for excuses for not coming.
It will spare you a lot of time, patience and headaches.
Result would be the same as mentioned above. Except, it wouldn’t take as much time as the former. Not bad right?
All of these would lead you to distancing yourself from your friends and at some point nobody cares any more about you.
It would be the worst case scenario. But what else can you do?
Telling them the truth?
It may sound easy but it isn’t.
When you try to tell them the truth, most of the time they won’t take you serious or think you exaggerate.
It always ends with them soothe it down and tell you to think it over, or why you think like that, when in fact the person in question is actual a “nice” or “understanding” person.
And at that point most of them stop listening to you and think it’s over.
Naturally, the good friend you are, also stop to keep talking about it and try to get over it.
But let’s be true.
Truer than true.
Let’s be fucking honest.
You still can’t stand that person and you still don’t want to have anything to do with that person.
When you reach that point you should realize something.
The most important fact. Something so obvious you could laugh and cry at the same time.
That you aren’t as important as the “annoying” person.
That from the start you only tagged along and never really were a part of the group.
It was only by chance that they to you with them and not some kind of kinship or friendship.
If you haven’t realized that yet, would mean that you are stupid and dense as fuck.
But also a lucky bastard.
Why a lucky bastard you ask?
Because from this moment on you are truly a part of the group.
Not of the main cast, no not even close to it.
You are just a substitute for the case that if one of the main group can’t come you could take his/her place for the time.
But you are part of a group.
And that in itself is quiet the achievement.
Sure, you will always have that little voice inside your head that tells you that you can be replaced and that you will be replaced at some point, but at least you had a fun time with your “friends”.
After they abandoned you, you will fell like shit, you will be mad and angry.
But that’s all.
In one to two months you already found a new group you could belong to.
If it happened once it will happen twice.
How long will the new “friendship” last?
One or two years if you are lucky, not longer.
History will repeat itself.
But you will still be as naïve as before and think, “maybe not this time.”
Even though you went through that shit a hundred times you will still believe that everything is fine.
That maybe this time you will find real friends.
Just to be disappointed at the end.
Should I tell you a little secret?
An unspoken truth that everyone knows.
Even you should know it, or at least realize it at this point.
Well, when you went through it maybe you won’t realize it, or you just don’t want to admit it.
Not the others are the problem at this point but YOU are the problem.
Don’t get me wrong, you weren’t always the problem.
But you became the problem at some point.
Sure at first you tried to do something against it and it didn’t work out.
That was the correct way to handle the problem.
You talked to your “mates” and you tried to be as polite as possible.
Not wrong but also not quiet right.
When they told you to keep cool and consider it all again you shouldn’t have submitted, but set an ultimatum or at least tried to make a compromise.
Because the moment you gave in you decided to be nothing more than a replacement.
And that is where the point of no return begins.
It is inevitable that at some point they would ditch you, or you would have enough of it.
That’s only naturally.
You have to blame human nature.
But you also have to understand that that is the beginning of the actual problem.
And that is, the scare you get from this.
At first, you don’t realize it but after some time it will become clear.
The first to realize it will be the people surrounding you, most likely your new group.
After some time people you don’t interact with regularly, like schoolmates or co-worker will also realize it.
Just you won’t realize it, only when it is too late.
And that is…
Your forceful attempt to be liked by everyone, even though you aren’t yourself any more.
That may sound like it is the natural thing nowadays, and yes it is.
That’s the reason why friendships break easily apart in this day and age.
Now some may think, ”what you say is true but I have friends I can rely onto,” or “what you say is totally bullshit and you don’t know what you are talking about.”
Maybe some of you even agree with me.
I don’t know.
And to tell you the truth I don’t even care.
Everyone has his/her own perspective on this world and what friendship is.
Who am I to judge if your point of view is the right view or not.
I know that I am most likely wrong with my opinion, or just scrapped some art of the truth.
Or there isn’t a truth and everything I wrote was just a huge waste of time.
And I never will.
I will try to find an answer.
Strive for it.
But all of my thinking, effort and sleepless night will yield nothing in the end.
Because there properly isn’t just one answer, but many.
Or someone else already discovered the answer and I just have to google it to find it.
But I won’t.
Cause I want to find my own answer.
Maybe when I find my own answer I will share it with others.
Or I will keep it to myself and be happy with my new findings.
Even though it will not be the answer which will fit the whole mankind.
It will be my own answer and that is what I want.
A truth only I know of and nobody else.
And that is also something that many more should strive for, not just me.
What is your answer to this, seemly unimportant question, I wonder.