Limiter Off

by Arvid

Original Action Adventure Romance Tragedy Anti-Hero Lead Harem LitRPG Male Lead Reincarnation Secret Identity Slice of Life Strong Lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

Left by his parents at a young age, betrayed by his lover at the prime of his life.

A man with nothing left found himself in a situation which should not possible.

What will he do?

How is he going to adjust to this new difficulty?

 

*Author notes*

Hello, new author here. English is not my first language so I might make some mistakes at first.

includes: action, adventure, drama, romance, tragedy, a harem which i will try my best to make a good one

Enjoy!

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Aapjuh
  • Overall Score

Very bad, no coherent story whatsoever

Characters:
the mc is pretty bland, his previous life sounded pretty interesting with his background story, but once he dies he just becomes a bland guy that gets everything handed to him with minor effort. side characters are frozen in time till the mc is in the spotlight or requires them to talk to advance the story (an example below), the dialog between mother and father in the beginning was realistic lighthearted but later only are there for the mc to make choices or be given tasks.

Grammar:
quite a few mistakes and typo's but can mostly read on.

Story
(CH1-7):

some mistakes and odd logic.
which made me want to stop reading since i figure it will go on like this, pure wish fulfilment, easy get everything mc, the "i will just write some random mumbo jumbo logic that gives MC x and y without thinking it through" kinda thing.
you could see the obvious setups from a mile away, like when the mc is discovered having a 'talent' for mana/magic which is appearantly rare mayb even super rare as explained below, yet the side characters dont even blink an eye at it, just so it can be used later as some kind of powerboost/mechanic/excuse to explain something awesome the mc will do/have/get later.
(CH7-12): yup the outside world revolves and scales around the mc. he can kill over a hundred goblins without being noticed as a lvl 3-19, a more powerful enemy gets easily killed by the mc, the goblin boss lets him live, mc kills boss when he "recoveres a bit" from his sword through his chest, he gets shot after a 2nd powerful enemy appears but still easily kills him
>lets sum it up... sword through chest... shot through thigh... broken thigh bone... (remember he is 12 and basicly noob level)
still carries a girl on his back, is able to move around for hours, all these wounds are never mentioned again when they reach the village. no need to know anything about mysterious girl don't ask any questions bcus 'she might not want to talk about it', 24/7 sexy time thoughts instaid.





Ranting+Examples of the weird logic/mumbo jumbo/mistakes i talked about:

very first chapter, the mc's name is spelled wrong... shows how much thought was really put into it.

the mc is spirit/soul after a gruesome death, but all he can do is flirt/hit-on an angel that is there to guide him to the afterlife/nextlife, sure makes sense to do that in these situations... right harem tag i forgot.. nevermind move on.

angel says "second I can also give you an ability that will help you make your own skills but the requirements are to have brain with high functioning which you already have and experience."
> why does he need to know a requirement he already has and therefor had no need knowing it. its only mentioned so the readers will know the mc is high functioning, so it can be an excuse for some BS later ofc...
>> haha called it, author commented to a reader CH7 "He is obviously and intelligent guy and remembers almost everything. Lets go a few chapters back when we were told how he has an awesome brain."

author note says: "Btw i researched and found out that babies can't see shit and only recognize their mother because of her voice. So keeping that in mind I defined the surroundings as vague. Keeping it real I guess."
> newborn baby dialog: "She has long silver hair, black shiny eyes and an oval face. It seems like my mom is a beauty."  in the same chapter as that author note...

MC: “Can you tell me about the other races?”
Angel: "Other than humans there are elves, vampires, beast man, fairies, trolls, goblins and other demonic beasts. You will also find other species or variants but they are not in enough quantity to be stated as a race.”
> its the other way around, species>race


"The ability you have described is only found in the families of those with royal blood who keep their bloodline pure and perfect."
> if thats true why aren't they more shocked about their son showing this talent/ability if its so seemingly rare its bred among royals

"It is unusual or you might say it’s rare to have a skill at this age but this means you are a genius."
> being born with a "talent" doesn't make somone a genius by default, you said it had to do with bloodlines so its a born talent, nothing genius about that.

> also they hired a random maid 6 years ago and never bothered to learna bout her? and the father a GUARD CAPTAIN doesn't do background check? okay then.

> while the maid goes to grab a potion from somewhere, the parents dont talk at all during that time? like they're just cartboard sidechars only there to serve the MC.
and just freeze in time till the mc needs them to talk.

> his mana seeing ability/talent is so rare that royals covet it, lets make the kid a swordsman instaid... brilliant logic by the father

> 'preparing for harsh future' yet no foreshadowing at all and even the angel said it isn't that dangerous of a world.

> 'must keep everything secret, cant tell anything to my family' 'will they kick me out?' because no reason at all, seemingly normal caring family.

> sarcasm: the village has guards because the monsters near the vollage can be beaten by level 0 kids, the guards are clearly not there for the protection against monsters, but tantrum kid bandits that are vicous and know to stalk the area, either that or the monsters are only there for the mc.

> mc first time hunting, sees goblins first time, discovers goblins showing human like behaviour which is obviously a strange thing for goblins to do and must be reported to the guard captain,  since he has soooo much knowledge on normal goblin behaviour.

> fresh level 0-3~ people can easily slaughter armored goblins by the dozen, wonder how weak non armored goblins are (negative level?), nah monsters scale to fit mc.

Volos
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As of ch 21.  I hate to be the bearer of bad news, especially considering the author’s family’s troubles with health, but I can find little redeeming about this work. I lost my mother to cancer, so I would recommend the author come back to use that pain when he feels ready to resume writing. 

The grammar is slightly below average for this site, which is to say  horrible in comparison to the print media. The style is full of misinformed info dumps, and the plot is disjointed. 

It’s a LitRPG I would expect to see from a young man who doesn’t speak English as a first language (per the author’s claim) and learned all that he had of Japan from light novels and anime.  With some serious reworking and planning on the plot, it might be something that I was interested in coming back to. As it is now, I couldn’t recommend it to anyone.

Xtrem04
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Will Update as the story goes

Just wanted to let an early review for those who are interested in the story. The first few chapters (10-14) are going to feel kind of out of tempo. You can tell the author was trying to find the flow of the story. After chapter 15, things take a whole new level. Author finally finds his/her rhythm. Give the story a try. It's not mind blowing, but it's interesting and the Author does listend to the audience's feedback. 

Grammar: is good. Slight mistakes (sentence structure and what not), but easy to miss. So we are good in that department. spllin iz good, so don worri about it (Sarcasm people, spelling is good, jokes aside).

Character: Could use a bit more work, I don't exactly feel attach to them and there are times I don't quite follow their thought process or emotions. But, it seems as if this is the author's first public story, so hopefully this aspect of the story will grow along with the author (best of luck in this Arvid). 

As for the story, it's kind of generic, but in a good way. Reincarnation with old memories from past live, some love here and there (no harem as of yet, just one girl so far), and an ability from the God(dess) to help out. Simple formula, but can be told different ways, like a good sandwich. Everyone has their own special way of making a sandwich. But in the end, it's still a sandwich. This story happens to be a good sandwich so far. We will have to wait and see if it continues that way. Hopefully the Harem tag doesn't burn the bread. No one likes burned bread. 

Thanks for reading my review. 

ObscureReference
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Great Scott! Your Great!

I must admire the constant updates that this story goes through while keeping the grammar intact! 

PS: Don't listen to the author his English is far superior to mine. Though some parts could use improvments.

tormanen
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The general idea behind the story is pretty overused and for a good reason, it's a good trope and a lot of people enjoy stories like this. nothing wrong with that.

The grammer is acceptable for Royalroadl wich is to say it's in need of work but people can read it without too much confusion. I've been told changing the font while your proof reading makes it easier to spot mistakes, something about getting used to seeing it one way and the different font make it easier to look at it with fresh eyes, idk but it works pretty good for me when i'm looking over my own papers. 

I feel like the story is a series of convinient events with little to no thought about how events would or could effect all the characters. Dialogue in some places feels like a list of plot points you wanted to cover as quickly as possible to get to the exiting bits and in other places it feels like you enjoyed writing it a lot and took the time to think about how that character would react in that situation. It makes the characters feel inconsistent and puts me off. 

jwright
  • Overall Score

There is a time skip of 6 years. MC had started his training as a warrior, assassin, and a mage.

6 years later and MC has no new spells or abilities over the 6 years. He hasn't gained any levels which is fine but he also has barely gained any stats. The stats he does have are likely what he got by being human and growing up. 

This is a huge oversight. First thing after 6 years MC is like "derpa derp Mr. Blacksmith, make me katana." Seriously? A katana? We assume MC has been training with traditional weapons so he should be comfortable with them. Why would he want a katana when he would have to learn how to use one???

After training as an assassin for 6 years, he suddenly learns sneak/stealth while in a forest? That's like the first thing you do! He should have like a bandlier of knives and assassin stuff, instead it's like it never happened.

After training as a mage for 6 years, he barely has a useful amount of intelligence and his mana regen should make his mana unusable. He also decides that he should make new spells (lo and behold) and creates a fireball....... He is a space/time/void mage and he makes a fireball as his first spell after 6 years of magical abstinence?!?!?!?

 

00petar00
  • Overall Score

I literally don't  understand, he kills himself because his wife cheated on him yet he cheats on someone he loves.. 

I don't like harem stories and this really made it bad for me. She did everything for him, waited for him for so many years because he was in a coma and he goes around and cheats on her. 

 

Also why would he kill himself when his wife cheated on him? he could've just killed her and found someone loyal. That first chapter was really so bad.

 

This story can be quite enjoyable if i put up with what i've written above. It probably should be around 3 stars, honest rating. There are some other issues but these were the major ones for me.

Crytach
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Brilliant Idea, Cant wait to see where it leads

Ok so initially the grammar was annoying but strangely enough, that was literally only on the first chapter after that it got very good, Now onto characters, I havent read enough to profile the characters but I can say that I enjoy their interactions. ALL AND ALL AUTHOR, YOU HAVE MY SUPPORT AND MY GRATITUDE, I LOVE YOUR STORYlaughing

Erkaloth
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I like the fast pace of the story. Originally I was afraid the author will the mc someone who wouldn't trust anyone like some authors do, but I'm glad I was wrong. The novel is nice until now even though adding spaceships and intergalactic (which hasn't been shown yet) was a bit weird when you think that he's in a world of swords and magic. All in all this is a good story that I recommend and can't wait to read myself.

mio
  • Overall Score

idea is good, but characters are... flat? stale? something like that.

i liked how the story went, but every person talks in flat emotionless ways. their conversations are more like explanations, all the time, reactions are unnatural, even cringeworthy at times...

you should really work on this. i didn't read much, only first few chapters, and won't read more, since it really bothers me that your characters have little to no personalities.

to fix this i would suggest starting with more descriptions of reactions, but that's only a stopgap measure. you should try to make the conversations flow and make them more natural.