A note from stewart92

Enjoy ^^

In the end, she created shelves, crates, pots, barrels and a single chest.

It wasn’t a big chest or a small chest, but it was Delta’s chest and she was proud of it. The more she created, the more the ideas came to her. There was bound to be many things Delta ended up creating out of curiosity and not actually find them that useful. It didn’t look like she could actually destroy an item she created that wasn’t considered ‘Construction’ or one of her monsters. Delta found out, with some help with Nu, that things like treasures, sandwiches or even the odd club were unable to be destroyed once created. Nu seemed to think that was a good thing or too many new dungeons would end up destroying loot in the belief that it was ‘clutter.’

So, short of throwing them outside to gather dust and rust, Delta just turned the mana spring room into a Storeroom as per Nu’s advice.

The pots were just hardened mud with a rough texture and her barrels had gaps between the boards, and maybe the shelves weren’t exactly even, but Delta still felt pride in her efforts. She tried to make a pot with a fancy handle it came out looking like someone had taken limp noodles and attached them to a lumpy pot.

Delta named it “The first Pot” and it was saved into her menu as a new design. Nu’s lack of commentary told her exactly how bad it was. She spawned a few arrows for the shelves and looked at the torches that her goblins had brought.

The downside of making it rain fire that the torches were one of the things she couldn’t destroy. So, she had no idea what to do with 20 extinguished torches other than to dump them into one of her new barrels. She then had Numb pick up her batch of Edible mushrooms from the grove and put them in another barrel, any adventurers might need some food after all. He dropped a few in the mud but Delta could fish them out later.

She didn’t want to improve each one to reignite when she needed the mana to do other fun stuff.

“Come to the Delta Dungeon and get a free torch with every trip!” she tried aloud and her goblins shared a look as Cois muttered.

“And a frigging mushroom...” he said, nudging Billy who looked down with a grin. Delta just glared at them. Sure enough, several types of mushrooms were already appearing in the room. Lumen mushrooms made bottoms shelves glow with a pale blue light as the ever-present Rotguts. A few edible ones appeared and Numb plucked one and ate it.

Delta grinned a she thought of Bacon eating a lumen mushroom and shooting lasers out his rear... but then Delta hoped he wouldn’t. The first-floor boss had to be fair. It was just the rules. The room felt warm and Delta with a whim added a small lit sconce on the wall near the door. It sparked to life and shadows dance along the walls.

“Not good to give them torches and nowhere to light them,” she concluded then frowned.

“If someone burns my storeroom down, I’ll be pissed,” she added as she eyed the room. She placed three Healthy apples in the chest. Be a shame to leave it empty. If nothing else, Hob and Gob could run down that way if more Slimers appeared. Delta left the room before she filled it to the brim with things for people to use in a pinch.

Cois seemed to look back as if hoping the room would catch fire any second. Delta gave him a look, not sure how happy she felt about Cois’ love of fire growing hotter like this.

Ah well, everyone had their quirks. Delta hummed as she walked down the tunnel to the Mudroom and eyed the room. After it only seemed to catch Amanstar and the Slimers... Delta felt it needed something else...

First, she formed a trip wire above the logs. Someone had to be above 7 feet to hit it, so Delta was sure it be fine. This would catch people trying to take a flying leapt with magic or something. She had Numb throw Billy at it and the wire snapped at it slowed Billy down enough he landed with a crouch on a solid log.

Delta nodded, she didn’t want super faster speedsters being decapitated if they did a Leeroy. Still, catching a spider off-guard was always welcome.

Next, she took one of the sinker logs and applied a stick trap to it. It flashed and Delta honestly couldn’t see a difference between that log and another one. It wasn’t dangerous but it would add some risk to the room if people had fast reflexes.

These traps weren’t permanent until she tied them into the room but as prototype ideas... it was worth testing them out until she had the DP to spend. The stick trap looked like it had a few uses in it before it became defunct anyhow. That juicy 182 DP tempted her but Delta shook her head, using her inner-adult to remain stalwart in her goal of a second floor.

Overall, she still had 34 mana to mess with and Delta tapped her chin.

She could already see what would slowly become her biggest problem as a dungeon core. Choices. Should she do that thing or maybe those things? What if she did one thing and it unlocked a whole new world?

Delta was spoiled with choice and it was making things harder as her new life settled. She shrugged and headed to the grove. Delta guessed she could only do what felt like was a good choice.

Sure, she could have Nu go over everything in her dungeon, reporting what was valuable, what was needed, what could maybe make a mana generator 2000 but in the end, that just wasn’t Delta.

Efficient planning turned into perfect planning. Delta guessed it would be good for everyone involved but if she had to wait until something was a perfect choice then she never get anything done around here.

She patted Boary and flexed her fingers with a smile.

She opened the menu and selected a gift from Mrs Dabberghast. It was the mushroom and everything about it made Delta narrow her eyes with suspicion but she found on multiple occasions that item absorption did not carry a taste. Maybe it would taste great or maybe it was her new antiChrist? She did not know, after all, absorbing the thing did not taste of anything as it was mixed in with many other items at the time.

Delta may never know unless someone brought another one.

So, she spawned it, the thing only costing 2 mana. It sprouted off to one side as she read the menu of it.

It was harmless and Delta could appreciate it for being so.

“Welcome to the Grove, enjoy your home!” she nodded as the little round mushroom appeared. The white spots and red under skin made it look cute, like the mushrooms ornaments that old ladies put next to their gnome statues.

She opened the grove menu and selected the grove to start making some more for the dungeon. Delta guessed it was alright she could enjoy the nice mushrooms. It did give her dungeon a fairy kingdom vibe. She checked on the Wyin plant and saw nothing had changed.

“Do plants grow over time in here?” she asked and Nu appeared with a ding.

Delta guessed that was fair. She decided not to place the Mideiel fern or the Silverleaf plant until she had a better room. It would have to be something pretty cool... Delta grinned.

Maybe it would be a power-plant! Delta snorted and took a moment to calm herself

Delta hummed as she read her Grove menu.

Delta grinned as more options became available due to her adding the mushroom to the grove. Shame that it took new mushrooms to get it, however. With her tongue sticking out a bit, she swiped right to see what the actual room had for upgrades.

Delta stared at the list. Cross...breeding? She rubbed her hands with a nervous gesture. Delta wasn’t sure if she wanted to take the first step down the evil scientist route. First, it was just harmless mushrooms, then it was mushroom monsters, then it was clicker fungus zombies! Delta shivered and took a moment to calm herself.

Some breeds would be helpful. If she used the Spotty caps as a base... well, then it would be fine and if she got the one that had the word ‘peaceful’ in it then Delta was sure she would avoid making eldritch abominations of the mushroom world.

“Sorry, Adventurers, your princess or prince is in another castle but let my fungus zombie eat your brain,” she said with a sigh. It was something to ponder.

Besides, she had Great Mushy and Mr Mushy, she was already skipping towards world domination via mushrooms. After the world ended Delta would just have to say that she tried her best to stop it.

Hob and Gob returned with buckets of items and Delta rushed to see what with excitement.

It was mostly the same. One bucket had water with tangleweeds and more of the same fish floating dead at the top while the other had more mushrooms and some grass. Delta watched as they became absorbed.

Delta watched as her DP climbed... and climbed.

Delta felt a scream rise before Hob grumbled. He dug around in his shoes and pulled out an acorn that was lodged there.

“Toeses feel better,” he smiled and flicked the acorn to the ground.

It dissolved.

Delta held her breath as she focused heavily on the DP screen. The 1 slid down to show a beautiful 200.

Delta screamed and laughed as she jumped about with her hands in the air. Hob and Gob looked confused but cheered as well as if this was what they’re supposed to do.

“Nu! I have enough!” she laughed and Nu appeared with a trumpet noise.

Delta couldn’t hold back her grin as she hit confirm and the menu vanished. Then the shaking happened and Delta became light-headed. She became... rather... tired.

“N...u? Wha...” Delta began but her eyes drooped as a buzzing filled her head, she winced as her head felt like something was beginning to drill into it. It began to hurt badly and Nu appeared brighter in her face.

Delta slid down the wall as the shaking became more pronounced. Then darkness claimed her. It was blissful and pain-free and Delta hummed into her sleep.


Quiss grabbed his drink as the pub shook. Ruli looked around with an odd expression. Her red eyes met his grey ones.

“Delta.” was all she said but it was enough.

“It’s too fast, even for her,” Quiss argued back, the glass cracking slightly under his tight grip. Ruli just stood as best she could.

“One way to check. I’ve felt enough Floor Tremors to know what this is and it’s Delta. Girl is clever and has gobs, you need to stop underestimating her,” Ruli warned as Quiss downed his drink and began to follow as various patrons adjusted to the shaking and began to drink again. A buzz of excitement now filling their chatter as all discussion turned to Delta.

This wasn’t their first dungeon nor would it be their last. It wasn’t a rumble, then a roar then a rumble, that would point to Haldi’s cheese experiments going wrong again. Quiss shuddered at that thought.

Nor was it a rumble, screech, rumble. That would suggest Dabberghast. This was a rumble, grind, rumble. It was a familiar noise if one delved into dungeons long enough.

A new floor appeared and it had only been five days. This was beyond odd. This was now reaching bizarre territory and Quiss did not use that term lightly around here.

He nodded to Old Lady Jose as she climbed down the stairs from the second floor of the pub. Her posture was one of hunting and Quiss forced himself not to met her eyes. He licked his lips with a nervous gesture and left the pub quickly turning a corner so the woman couldn’t eye him as fleeing prey.

He rushed after Ruli. He tried not to pay attention to the group of others that followed. Too many old legends getting a taste of the excitement again. It was not a good idea, anyone of them could rip Delta apart if they got the urge. Quiss pulled his Peace Keeper badge out and stuck it to his coat. He hoped Delta would appreciate the fact he was about to do his job with some iota of seriousness.

He spent the next hour pushing and herding the public back to town...

Quiss hated working.


Support "There is no Epic Loot here, Only Puns."

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ZarataN @ZarataN ago

Woohoo.. another chapter. Thanks.

deuces21 @deuces21 ago

WOOOOOOOO thanks for the chapter! I have really been enjoying your work and hope you continue it for a long while!

Alchemyst @Alchemyst ago

Oh no i just realized! How Are you going to continue making the map if there are... Two floors!! Can't wait to see what she does with this.

Eleven @Eleven ago

Thanks for the chapter! Can't wait to see what cool/crazy rooms the second floor will bring us Very Happy

Mastersgtjames @Mastersgtjames ago

another chapter! two a day!... I want moooore....

siver110 @siver110 ago

the dungeon grows quickly and the town of the hidden strenght wanders about in mild confusion, thanks for the chapter

Crimeus @Crimeus ago

Did anyone make the Quiss-Cois joke yet?

Jeff091 @Jeff091 ago


thanks for the new chapter

stuck it to coat.


-->stuck it to his coat.

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