A note from stewart92

I'll respond to everyone soon! Just uploading three chapters today ^^

With a purchase of her mana, Delta made a new signboard as she felt her mana rise with the 24-hour period. It was time to stop moping and start to do something. It was slightly escapist of her to slip into a ‘dungeon mindset’. Delta let it slide for the moment as she let the feeling drive her forward.

The board above her tunnel was simple.

To the farmer who raised Dil, I am sorry.”

It was messy and held only a percent of the guilt Delta felt but it was all she could to do for the moment. She promised she would do more in the future to make sure Dil saw how bad she felt. Something to really show how she really felt towards the death of people in her halls.

Horrible and sad. Delta eyed the sign and nodded as she moved down the tunnel. It would take time and DP she didn’t have for now. But she promised to make a proper memorial to the farmer soon. She didn’t care what it took nor did she care how long it set her back for.

“Nu... alert me when something of ‘memory’ or ‘memorial’ becomes unlocked,” Delta ordered quietly. Nu dinged in compliance and faded.

Delta inhaled and tried to gather her thoughts. There was much to do and she really didn’t have a clue where to begin. Her second floor and her first floor had much to improve and begin. For now, she had mana to waste as Hob and Gob went outside to gather more materials. It would keep her resources high in the in DP department.

With 53 mana and 20 DP, she didn’t have tons of options. She decided to split the numbers between floors for now.

DP for the first and Mana for the second.

Delta moved to the second floor, where the only room was her new Core room. The room which held her core before now became empty and Delta wondered what she could do with it. Standing in her core room, Delta opened the menu.

Delta paced as she plotted. Her second floor only really had a Mana cost for now. She quickly checked and found that no monsters could be placed or come near the stairs that traversed to the first floor. Delta could see the same white barrier that protected the main entry from when she tried to place a trap or a monster.

The main room was obviously interesting but with a cost of 80... Delta could only hope her gobs could bring back a decent haul. She needed at 27 mana to buy it... she could make small rooms for now and raise her max Mana limit but that also seemed like a time-consuming issue as buying 2 rooms only gave her 75 mana.

With 12 mana regen it wouldn’t be terrible... still, she wanted to get a move on and make good on her word to redeem herself and her bigger goal... find the demon child.

“Nu, are there any more methods of finding mana springs?” she asked with a business-like tone and Nu appeared with a flash.

Delta hummed as she paced. If she needed to wait until she had 80 mana then Delta would simply ask Ruli for some tributes or Deo. They both seemed likely to help her if she simply asked. Ruli especially if Delta added more rare fish to her pond...

Until then, Delta looked up at the simple iron staircase that kept her floors separate, she would do good where she could.

First off, her first floor needed some upgrades...


Ruli watched as the old woman pulled Dil into the house. The farm was beginning to look a little let go. Ruli popped a mint-rock into her mouth and turned to walk away. She closed her eyes as a tug pulled at her cloak.

“Miss Ruli, where’s Daddy?” the young girl’s voice asked and Ruli looked at the young girl who held a rather ugly goblin-doll. It was ironic and Ruli didn’t waste thought on why that was.

“Sorry, little one, he ain’t coming back,” she said bluntly the girl’s face puffed up in anger.

“Momma said liars are bad!” the girl accused and Ruli couldn’t even feel the kick aimed at her shins. Ruli let it happen. It was good for people to let steam off, Ruli should know. The girl ran back to the house, throwing the goblin-doll into a muddy puddle as tears leaked from her eyes. Ruli walked over and picked it up.

The doll had already absorbed too much muddy rater to be held but Ruli walked to the front door and placed it against the front door for when the girl needed it again.

It felt... familiar.

“I hate you! He said he’d be back tonight!”

Too familiar. Ruli sniffed and walked down the path back to Durence where she could grab a pint and make a fool of herself where her mother could see. Mila ‘Jose’ WolfBane deserved the shame.

Ruli looked at her mud-streaked hand and decided the girl would appreciate the truth down the line. Quiss would have known what to say to get the truth across and not get kicked. Quiss was an ass but he was a smartass. He could say one thing and mean another 3 things at the same time. People trusted him because he had a air about him that reeked of reluctant helper. A quirk that refused to die in some heroes.

Ruli didn’t have that, she didn’t have that at all. The girl’s tears meant nothing. It was just a sign of pain, a fact that a child had lost her parent. It was a fact and Ruli was raised to accept facts.

“Get a grip. You’re brainwashed by that old cow.”

Ruli stopped at the exit of the farm and grabbed the gate with one hand. It cracked under her strength as she forced herself to remain calm.

“Shut up... I am not,” she muttered in a weak defence. Emotions were weapons and if they weren’t, they were hindrances. Ruli had been taught that and she had embraced it when everything had gone wrong. Then stupid Quiss had come along and everything had gone wrong. Ruli sighed and walked down the path, she would be back tomorrow to fix the gate. It had been an old promise to herself that she fixed what she had broken.

Sadly, Ruli had gone the wrong way that day and couldn’t have stopped Dil and the girl’s father from entering the dungeon in her usual hunting spot. It... wasn’t her fault but Ruli accepted the blame when the children had no one else to blame.

It really sucked to have nothing to blame but a dungeon. It just lead to more pain.

“Oi, are you going to beat up more people? Don’t make me remove you from the town... again,” Quiss shouted and Ruli blinked, her old mind snapped due to the question and she couldn’t help but grin.

“Only thing I aim to beat is your backside in a drinking game!” Ruli corrected and Quiss snorted as he moved to walk in line with her.

“Sure, you and what stomach? I beat you in the last 5 rounds. Besides, can’t drink. Too many people wanting to explore the dungeon. Already sent Deo back… three times,” Quiss grunted and Ruli smirked.

“Kid has got balls, to ignore you,” she admitted and Quiss snorted as he moved a bush along with his leg, urging it back to Mrs Dabberghast’s garden. It wriggled in nervousness and Quiss checked to see if Haldi had locked up for the night.

The man often forgot to keep his cheese magic secure when he slept. It was a rather odd sight to see Von the banker suck the dairy out of the local cheese chimaera. Quiss said something about her care-free attitude and Ruli basked in the open challenge. It was so honest and clear.

It didn’t lead to pain or questions.

“I bet I can spot more teens than you,” she bragged and Quiss smirked then turned his usual pissy face on.

“I hardly take fools bet but you make it too easy,” he mocked and kicked a tree which a girl fell out of with a yelp.

Ruli had to admit. When it came to ruining fun, Quiss was the master.


Her Mudroom had been upgraded to allow her traps to respawn whenever the dungeon was empty of outsiders. The tripwire in the air and the random stick trap on one of the log platforms. It left her with 10 DP to mess with. Delta watched as her gobs jumped on the log with the trap and it didn’t activate. A useful built-in feature. It didn’t seem work when she designed a complication with her room construction such as the mud or the thin platforms.

“Mr Mushy, what do you suggest I do next?” she asked the giant mushroom man. It peered upwards in response to her voice.

It slowly raised a giant thumbs up and Delta beamed.

“Thank you for the advice! I will do exactly that!” she half-joked as it went back to chasing Boary around the Grove. The mushroom man enjoyed petting that animal far too much. It was better than the Greater Mushy who looked it just wanted to eat everything...

Hob and Gob returned, bickering over who had the largest haul. Delta moved to them and smiled as they dumped the same things onto the floor. Their wooden armour clacked and Delta found the equipment cute in a way. Delta watched as her Mana easily hit 85. Delta blinked and looked down at the only unique item among the mushrooms and water.

It was a rabbit but its fur wasn’t the usual grey or white. It was red. The rabbit looked to be in some pain as it looked like it had lost a fight with some animal. Hob clubbed it over the head making Delta wince.

Delta blinked at the offering and as her Mana dropped to 84, she rushed to her second floor, yelling thanks to her gobs who looked pleased and nudged each other in a pleased motion. Delta would be lost without them and reminded herself to upgrade them with the slingshots soon. It was only fitting and having some birds for her jungle wouldn’t be so bad.

Some ridiculous dancing bird that moved backwards would be brilliant and Delta grinned as she purchased the main room and build it just off her core room.

Delta nodded and the room came with it’s own entrance door. Delta admired the leaf style metal and root scuplted wood. Delta moved past it and saw the huge room before her. It was like a giant wall of mist that turned transparent as Delta looked at it. She could see the far walls, covered in wood and trees. Delta ran forward and counted. It took her roughly 3 minutes of full sprinting to reach the far side and Delta turned with a laugh as she pumped her fist into the air.

“Welcome to Delta’s paradise in the mist! Please do not annoy the frogs,” Delta mock called to the empty mist and opened her menu to observe the upgrades of the room.

Oh... oh!

This could be fun.

Delta looked at her options and saw she had quite a few plants to begin her reign of peaceful-terror. Sending her gobs out again with a respectful tone, Delta wondered what a Silverleaf and a Wyin plant would do to this jungle.

Delta could hardly wait to see what this turned into in a few days. She tried to cackle and sounded just joyful.


Support "There is no Epic Loot here, Only Puns."

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mio @mio ago

first! thanks for the chapter!

Eleven @Eleven ago

Thanks for the chapter! =)

Southsidetoo @Southsidetoo ago

DP for the first and Mana for the first. thats a strange split

thanks for the chapter

verycoolname @verycoolname ago

You are treading a line between tragedy and comedy, it's interesting but scary. I am enjoying the story though.

JonXarn @JonXarn ago

“Nu... alert me when something of ‘memory’ or ‘memorial’ becomes unlock unlocked/avaliable,”

Thanks for a fun chapter! Three updates! Yay!


wezard @wezard ago

thank you for those 2 chapters you released today :grin:

Neiden @Neiden ago

Thanks for the previous chapter, this chapter and (according to your note) the future chapter.

As someone who doesn't handle feels really well, this last two chapters have been hard.

This means that you've written them well, since I had empathy for a fictional cute puny core, the son of an idiotic farmer and a woman who can probably punch a dragon to death with her little finger.

I also hope that fluffiness and happiness will come back soon.

" he hand a air about him"

-> he had an air

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