A Gentleman's Curse

by Vistiel

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy Romance Anti-Hero Lead Magic Male Lead Non-Human lead Reincarnation Secret Identity Slice of Life
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

A life taken before its time

Through endless dark tunnels and down many holes

Not due to chance nor done by crime

But the whim of a god who handles our souls

 

Living a lonely life in the States, Vistiel hadn't expected his situation to change for a long time. When his soul is stripped of his body, however, plans change. Thrown into a new world with his old regrets and the memories of a life that is no longer his, he can either embrace this new environment and make a new one here, or suffocate under his past. 

 

Hey! Author here. Chapters post every other day and so far are anywhere from 3.5-6.5k words a piece. This'll be the first story I've ever written but I have a plot in mind and a plan in place. Just let me know if there's anything you'd like to see or if something about the grammar is bugging you. Thank you for reading!

Please keep in mind there will be some minor adjustments made to the earlier chapters as the book progresses. I'm building a story chapter by chapter, so I may/will need to go back and touch up some things.

If you like the story, please consider supporting me on Patreon!

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Character Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Total Views :
  • 528,538
  • Average Views :
  • 9,113
  • Followers :
  • 2,679
  • Favorites :
  • 466
  • Ratings :
  • 667
  • Pages :
  • 939
Advertisement
Go to Table of Contents
Rate it
Report
Advertisement
Author
Vistiel

Vistiel

Grunt

Achievements
Easter Event Search Party - Bronze Medal
Advertisement
Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 1: Accidents Happen ago
Chapter 2: Coming to Terms ago
Chapter 3: Mana ago
Chapter 4: Change is good ago
Chapter 5: Wrong ago
Chapter 6: The "Talk" ago
Chapter 7: Dynamics ago
Chapter 8: Dungeon ago
Chapter 9: Dungeon 2 ago
Chapter 10: Dungeon 3 ago
Chapter 11: Pain Is Weakness Leaving The Body ago
Chapter 12: Plans ago
Chapter 13: Double Edged Sword ago
Chapter 14: Breakfast ago
Chapter 15: Breakfast(finished) ago
Chapter 16: In-Transit ago
Chapter 17: Home ago
Chapter 18: Spar ago
Chapter 19: Words left unsaid ago
Chapter 20: Thunder ago
Chapter 21: We Do What We Must ago
Chapter 22: Time ago
Chapter 23: The Gathering ago
Evening Stroll(short bonus) ago
Chapter 24: Tisnart-Ni ago
Chapter 25: Home Sweet Paradise ago
Chapter 26: The Clock Ticks ago
Chapter 27: The Clock Continues ago
Arc 2, Chapter 1: New Beginnings ago
Not A Chapter, Read Author note before going on. ago
Arc 2, Chapter 2: New Companions ago
Arc 2 Chapter 3: Arrival ago
Arc 2 Chapter 4: Initiation ago
Arc 2 Chapter 5: First Tracks ago
Arc 2 Chapter 6: First Communion (Bonus chapter, read note) ago
Arc 2 Chapter 7: Orientation ago
Arc 2 Chapter 8: Advanced Sadist ago
Arc 2 Chapter 9: Break ago
Arc 2 Chapter 10: Knowledge Is Power ago
Arc 2 Chapter 11: Tours ago
Arc 2 Chapter 12: Advanced Manipulation ago
Arc 2 Chapter 13: Advanced Manipulation 2 ago
Arc 2 Chapter 14: Beast Handling ago
Arc 2 Chapter 15: Cheaters Get Special Love ago
Arc 2 Chapter 16: Death Alley ago
Arc 2 Chapter 17: Calm Before The Storm ago
Arc 2 Chapter 18: The Storm ago
Arc 2 Chapter 19: The Storm Pt. 2 ago
Arc 2 Chapter 20: Excursion Pt. 1 ago
Arc 2 Chapter 21: Excursion Pt. 2 ago
Arc 2 Chapter 22: Excursion Pt. 3 ago
Arc 2 Chapter 23: Rest Day ago
Arc 2 Chapter 24: Woodcutting ago
Arc 2 Chapter 25: New Things ago
Arc 2 Chapter 26: Sound Decisions ago
Arc 2 Chapter 27: Crouching Tiger Hidden Damien ago
Arc 2 Chapter 28: Intermission? ago
Arc 2 Chapter 30: A Day In Town ago
Reviews

Leave a review

dark asura
  • Overall Score

Good stuff highly recommended

  1. Likable characters
  2. Good grammar 
  3. Nice writing style
  4. Keep it up author
  5. Wish there was more chapters
  6. Looking forward to where this is going
Xen3n
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

I definitely recommend this.

"A gentleman's curse" - a typical RRL story tinged with nostalgia.

While the premise of the story is nothing to write home about, a fairly generic reincarnated into another world with a cheat that's not really a cheat, it invoked in me a sense of nostalgia. The beginning really reminds me of Mushoku Tensei. It invoked in me the same kind of feeling as Mushoku Tensei did when i still did not know what a japanese light novel was. 

There are only 11 chapters released, the latest being "Pain is weakness leaving the body" so i can't really say anything substantial about the plot. It seems like there are a few things in play already, but in my eyes they seem a bit forced. What i mean by forced is they are too generic and are set up artificially for the main character to overcome. It's not bad by any means, but it's nothing anything special either.

The grammar is spectacular by RRL standards. 

Now, what really makes this story shine in my eyes, the characters. All of the characters, except the father, that have been introduced by this point feel alive. The female characters and main character are written very well. The father feels lacking in comparison. I noticed that you tried to let the main character and the father experience a "moment" and try to get them closer, but it felt lacking. Like, something you want to quickly get over it to get to something else which you find more interesting. The father isn't "dead" by any means, but compared to let's say the three female characters he's somewhat lacking.

Overall, in my humble opinion, i think that the story is well written. Even more so, since this is your first attempt at writing. It has potential.

PS: i'm giving you all 5 stars, cause fuck that garbage person who gave you 0.5 stars. The real rating is: style 4 stars, story 4 stars, grammar 5 stars, character 4.5 stars. Do please keep in mind that i'm a harsh judge, but for your first story you really did impress me.

Keep up the good work and good luck!

shachlo
  • Overall Score

Its amazing! Reading about boys getting hit by flustered/angry girls is so much fun! I love all of it, in every chapter! I even stopped to follow the story, just waiting how and which one of girls gonna smack unsuspecting male in this particular scene! It even has full chapter of girl beating the shit out of MC because he didn't let her kiss him!

DrSupbro
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

This Will Be Another Royalroad Great

I have read many stories on here through the years, and from the many many stories I have read, only a few have been given 5 stars by me. These include such stories as Don't Fear the Reaper, Re: Write, Change: New World, The Legend of Randidly Ghosthound, Everybody Loves Large Chests, Godslayer, and a few more. This story has the potential to get one as well. 

This story is only getting better. The character development is there. There is plot, and behind the scenes detail. The characters are fleshed out, and the world itself isn't ignored. There are many secrets yet to be discovered by the readers, and this is a story that contains an MC that will be overpowered soon, but it isn't as if everything is thrown to him. 

I LOVE stories with main characters that are overpowered. I wish there was more to read out there. One of the bad things people do with these types of stories is just give them too much power way too soon in the story, making the rest all bland and meaningless. Just filler for the reader to waste their time on. This story eggs you on as you read everyone wondering just how powerful a human learning magic at the age of 2 will be when the previous record was 8. This is without them even knowing that knowledge is power, and he has a lot of it as I'll explain in a bit.

This story will not be a waste of your time whatsoever. The absolute only reason this story has a 4.5/5 right now for me is purely because I want to see it fleshed out a bit more. I don't want to rate it 5 stars only for the author to go somewhere bad with the story. I value my 5 star ratings extremely, and this story is definitely going to be worthy of it once some more time passes. 

The idea that knowledge is power that comes up again and again makes the story unique. It isn't some inborn talent. No, it is the knowledge the MC had as an electrician. He is going to eventually be the only one to commune with lightning by getting struck by lightning because he KNOWS things. He knows that filling himself up with negative charge like every other lightning mage out there does will only result in death, and he has a leg up on others. His rise to power is nearing, and we haven't even gotten to the school arc yet! 

Please just read the story. You won't regret it. It is far too amazing and detailed to pass up. There are only so very few like it on this site. 

-I am also dying to know if the MC is going to get wings like the story picture shows, or if that is a Celestial from the story. Having it be the MC somehow would probably be amazing. 

pastey5
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

Decent for a first attempt at writing

I tried reading this due to Ruffwriter's mention.

The writing style isn't the worst, but it suffers from trying to use anime/manga like expresions in text. Things like *BOOOOM* *KRRRAGFCHH*. Signs of beginner writers that try to express a wacky zaney feeling through text rather than express it through words.

In the same respect, the logic of characters is sometimes 'silly anime' like at times with characters acting unrealistically or how you'd expect them to act in a comedy manga. Even worse is the massive jumps in reasoning the characters take in order to get where the author wants them, which is very visible early on when he's younger.

Another thing: The author tries to make the character young early on to show how skilled he is by being able to train at 2 years old, but it's obvious the author has literally no idea how children and toddlers act or are treated. A recommendation for any author, if you haven't had a kid, had a relative with a kid you've seen frequently enough, or at least researched developmental stages of kids, then PLEASE LEAVE THIS OUT. It's so jarrying to read stories with things so blatantly wrong. It's obvious the author isn't even that comfortable with topic considering how much effort he put into mentioning the MC wasn't breast feeding.

Finally, the author ended up defining a bunch of world plot points early on like the empire and different institutions, but then went on to have no interaction with them. It didn't really serve to teach the reader anything important, but it did limit what the story could do in future chapters. This is something a lot of low quality isekai manga do because they're in such a rush to show the reader how their story is different from the basic "rpg fantasy world isekai" mold.

Overall the story suffers from lack of understanding on subjects and poor character interaction. But I think the author has some good potential. 

My recommendations would be to

  • Write about topics after researching them. Don't use age as a way to discern skill expertise unless you actually go learn how people act at those ages normally. Babies say their first words around 9 months old and start talking 12-18 months old...
  • If you find yourself using *these* to describe sounds or actions, instead try to describe the scene. If you find yourself writing "?!?!?!?!" instead try to convey that in writing and words. Using those shows poor writing skills and everyone interupts them differently. Personally I almost dropped the story immediately when I first saw those.
  • Don't define things in great detail if it isn't needed for the story. Things should be left open ended unless they aren't supposed to be. There was no point in going into so much detail on the adventurer's guild or whatever, but I already explained why I think you felt the need to.
  • As I mentioned in the title, I came here from Ruff's recommendation. I suggest you reread his early chapters (if you read them) and see how he builds the world. Look at what he explicity says, implies, and more importantly what he leaves out. If you're up to date with his story, you'll be able to see just how little he needed to spell out in the first 15-25 chapters to start building his world. And the things he does spell out are almosts spelled out with uncertainty (the chapter narrator isn't 100% sure and it shows)
Lordofthepies
  • Overall Score

Honestly, I think I have too high standards for grammar sometimes.  But, apart from mixing up tenses a couple times, the grammar is very good.  Also I think in reincarnation stories the psychological impact of losing your entire family/world is never really stated.  In this one it's done pretty well.

Æthelheim
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

☆ Masterpiece ☆

Characters and emotions are so real and well written, that the notion of time is seemingly forgotten. And the progress of the story is mysterious, but at the same time well paced for those looking for something a bit longer to read.

I like the different aspects of time and months in relation to Earths standards, but I would appreciate if the author would post 'some' kind of example for those who easily forgett how all this time difference between worlds are working.

Otherwise a seemingly nice novel for those looking for some traditional magic, and fantasy with a bit of a mix!

Thanks to the author for a couple of nice hours of reading!

SlimeAction
  • Overall Score

Same Ingredient, Different Flavour

Into another world story, but stay for family (or people) drama. No, not power strugle or jealousy one, but having lost your family and trying to accept your new home. I'm not staying because of how OP or great our MC progress, but because I care and want to know his daily live. It build into epic story but their family woven into main stage, not as a perk or back story. But as family.

That, in my opinion a worth reading.

drizz
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

An interesting story. It manages to make an overused trope unique and enjoyable to read, through excellent characters and a well-structured plot. (For RRL standards, naturally.)

The worldbuilding is kept rather minimal, while the immediate surroundings of the MCs are described well, the world as a whole feels kind of... empty. That's okay though, as it is very clear that the focus of this novel lies elsewhere.

...namely, in the characters. They feel alive. They develop (at a reasonable pace). They have actual, believable interaction with each other and the world around them. It's... refreshing, really.

One thing that I do want to note is that the female characters far outweigh the male ones (excluding the MC). And I don't mean the fact that they outnumber them, but they just seem a lot... deeper. This is especially noticeable when you compare the MCs mother with his father. Still, all points, this is a minor complaint.

The story flows well, and time skips are placed appropriately, the MC kind of just does his thing; there's not much of a "big goal" he's working towards. That's not too much of an issue though, and it sets a rather relaxed tone for the story. By no means does that mean to imply that the story is overly lacking in action, but that's clearly a secondary focus.

The grammar is almost flawless, but I'm super picky in that regard, so you're out of luck, I'm afraid. Occasionally tenses get mixed up, and I spotted a few typos here and there. By far not enough to break the flow, or cause too much of a distraction, but still. No full points for you. ò.ó

I'm *this* close to adding this to my favourites, but it's just not quite there yet. This is most definitively a story I'll be following though, and I've really enjoyed reading it so far.

Right, that's it. Written as of Arc 2, Chapter 22, and inspired by the note in said chapter, haha.

Cheers, hope you keep going!

yeetmin
  • Overall Score

 

spoilers

This is a subjective review and I am pretty sure I have an unpopular opinion 

 

everything as of arc-2-chapter-6 has been okay, nothing amazing but nothing horrible, I loved the relationship development between Damien and his new parents and the fairy stuff. I liked the way Damien uses his magic. I understand that Damien was a billy badass in his past life and he wants to move away from that lifestyle but I don't think that being the kind of kind guy that comforts your attempted murderer is a sound alternative. as for Alexa, she is what I hate the most about this story, first of all, she is either a psychopath or a terrible person. pretend you are a celestial 6-year-old girl, you are visiting your aunt and her friends and their kid, the kid (I think he was like 2 at this point) walks up and touches your wings, you are embarrassed.            do you

(A) ask him to stop

(B) push him away

(C) punch his fucking jaw out

(D) try to kill the 2-year-old child with fucking magic

I think that only two of those options are acceptable. but this is not the end of her violent escapades oh no no no   because after this business of her trying to kill an infant she starts to live with him, and unless I read it wrong she continues to beat the shit out of him on the daily, no sane person acts like this, also she is a bully and a coward, no qualms with fucking up a 2-year-old but as soon as danger is afoot the powerful magic girl balls her eyes out because she is scared. but besides Alexa, this book is pretty good so far definitely worth a read.