A Broken World

by vladerag

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Fantasy Magic Reincarnation Summoned Hero Supernatural
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

Three thousand years ago, Demonic creatures invaded the world.  Though their power seemed irresitable, a band of heroes managed to steal the knowledge of summoning rituals and worlds from them and created, "The Millenial Summoning."  A powerful magic that would bring forth a being from another world with the power to change the world forever.

The first being summoned became known as "The Speaker," and he brought the power of the Gods with him.  Teaching prayers and invocations that blessed humanities legions and began to push back the demons, founding of the "The Church of the Spoken Word" rose to power and a stalemate was reached.

Two thousand years ago, that stalemate was broken by the second casting of "The Millenial Summoning," and the arrival of "The First Sorceress," who taught humanity the basics of magic and enchanting.  With the power of the Sorceress, the mages, and the priests the tide turned and the Demonic hordes began to be shoved back, signaling hopes of a golden age for mankind.

One thousand years ago, the hopes of final victory and a new dawn for mankind were dashed by traitors who slew the participants of the ritual and took their places, using the ritual to bring forth a godlike being from the demons home world, "The Demon King," for no human knew his name, erased millenia of growth reducing humanity to barely a fragment of its former glory.

Now the ritual is being cast again, and a new being is being summoned...

In our world, after nearly two decades of studious work, Luke Jaeger is making his dream come true.  Working and going to school full time, sacraficing his health and social life in his youth, Lucas obtained Doctorates in genetics and virology, as well as associate degrees in buisness and accounting.  The modern world is not easy, and despite it nearly driving him mad from stress, this was the bare minimum he needed to be approved for a business loan to start a company focusing on commercial genetic therapy.

Despite the challange of getting his business running, Lucas feels that his work has finally paid off.

Lucas's car never left the banks lot, nor was Lucas ever seen again in our world.

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  • Overall Score

I like your story just make it longer.

I can tear through a 1000 chapter wuxia novel in 12 hours. Your 10 paragraphs take me less than a minute to read, and on a big monitor I can literally see all the text in the chapter without scrolling. You don't need to up your writting quantity at all, literally just stitch a few chapters together and release less frequently. You got a good story though, but right now I can read all of your 14 chapters in about 10 minutes, which is just plain not enough. Keep up the good work, and if you can make your chapters longer I would gladly be a loyal reader. But right now, I would consider your first 13 chapters as one, and the 14th chapter as the beginning section of chapter 2.

  • Overall Score

Good stuff, possibly a gem in the making.

Lovely dark gritty realistic world, i have missed this so badly, love how you capture the enviroment and the players in it, there are a few spelling misstakes here and there but i dont think anyone will care. Perhaps release twice a week and buff up the chapters a bit ?)

  • Overall Score

I like what I have read so far. Really interested to see where the story is going!

  • Overall Score

Excellent, but watch out.

The world  is interesting.

I like the characters, their personalitiies are very realistic, as are their interactions.

The politics is realistic and fascinating.

I love your work, you are doing it right, but as you continue to write please don’t fall into the trap of thinking darkness and despair = interesting and complex

keep doing what you are doing, if you avoid the trap I would even buy the completed book