Diary of the Shadow Queen

by kaplanicus

Original ONGOING Fantasy Female Lead Gender Bender Martial Arts Reincarnation Supernatural Wuxia
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Traumatising content

In the year 2029 essence beasts that appeared eleven years ago have ravaged humanity to the point of extinction. In a desperate attempt to save innocent refugees, a lone essence cultivator held his ground only to die horribly.He found himself in a time three months prior before the rules of the world had changed and in the body of a thirteen year old girl. Given another chance at life, what shall the reborn warrior do? Try to warn humanity? Not if she can help it. She wants to avoid being noticed by the government while gathering what allies that she could. For she does not wish to have an explosive collar placed around her neck like so many others in the previous timeline. But first, she needs to find a way to survive her father's drunken abuse.

-Author note: This is my first attempt at writing.  So, I would appreciate any useful feedback and I do apologize for my horrendous punctuation.  I can't promise frequent updates, but I will try to write at least 1 chapter a week.  

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Character Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Total Views :
  • 111,339
  • Average Views :
  • 1,988
  • Followers :
  • 383
  • Favorites :
  • 44
  • Ratings :
  • 72
  • Pages :
  • 371
Advertisement
Go to Table of Contents
Rate it
Report
Advertisement
Author
kaplanicus

kaplanicus

Achievements
This user has no achievements to display
Advertisement
Reviews

Leave a review

uavgas
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

Good start, with a new twist on an old genre

This is a story set in modern times, right before the apocalypse starts and afterward. There are many stories about a person in modern times dying and being sent to ancient times, or some cultivation realm, or another world of some sort to reincarnate into someone's body. This story is along that vein, and is about a guy dying post-apocalypse after being overrun by monsters and being sent back pre-apocalypse times; reincarnating into the body of a girl that had just died or had a complete mental collapse after years of child abuse by her father. Now in the body of a girl, she decides to try to start cultivating before the apocalypse happens in order to get above of the power curve. This is an interesting spin on the whole reincarnation and cultivation genres, and I look foward to where this will go as the story progresses. 

The grammar is pretty good and is very readable even if there are some silly mistakes. (See the synopsis above, where the author spells "dying" as "dieing.") However, I have not spotted any mistakes is grammar or spelling that have ruined the story or broken my immersion. 

All in all, this is a wonderful start to a story, and I am eagerly awaiting more chapters. Thank you kaplanicus, and keep up the good work. 

Night_Shade0611
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

I like your story but I can still do more work! Btw I like stories like this so I look forward to many like this, keep it up!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shadow of doubt
  • Overall Score

Simply amazing, I fully recommend.

The grammar and spelling are well done, the story is interesting and well written.

Can't wait to see where the author takes it.

royaldarknes
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

apocalypse cultivation story done right

the story so far is very good, haven't meet many mistakes so far,the fighting is good and quite detail,great character developing with some psychology thing, and haven't met many things like bad cliche/tropes so far, recommend to read it if you like some realistic, action, a bit dark  and good cultivate  

edit at 13/3: if everyone worries about what TREKSHCOOL saying, then check this comment section (I think this could help explain it) that all I can help to explain to what you think are a plot armor for now 

http://royalroadl.com/fiction/16333/diary-of-the-shadow-queen/chapter/195439/chapter-21?comment=1483275#comment-1483275

(for quicker if you don't have time to read,you can check the near bottom part of that comment, here is his main point :Max/Maxine has a bit of a borderline dual personality. NOT split personality, but dual, and the reason why she still help Emily despide what  TREKSHCOOL say, I can say one thing that the mc do meet her in the previous life, and that one reason make mc want to help her despite she doesn't know about that Emily previous life stuff, could be the subconscious thing)

edit at 16/4/2018 : at chapter 48 and 49 ,plot twist,plot twist EVERYWHERE,now we understand why it happened in the first place (small spoiler)

Spoiler: Spoiler

 

trekshcool
  • Overall Score

Mc makes too many illogical choices

PS: I have edited it after finding out about some details I missed but my main points still hold.

Look in the spoiler for a more comprehensive review 

Spoiler: Spoiler

 

VoidEater
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

I don't know how to feel about this story.

STYLE: it's good but not the best either.

STORY: It's fine. Uses the same old cultivation story and apocalyptic trope mixed with the author's taste.

GRAMMAR: It's OK. No major or glaring errors.

CHARACTERThis is where I'm really bothered. I'm not into Yuri. Although, you can't really categorized this into yuri since the mc is gender bent, but he's a girl already! I can't help but picture out a girl kissing a girl when I read this one. I'm not homophobe or anything, I support LGBT but Yuri isn't just for me. Sorry

tyes77
  • Overall Score

Self-destructive MC that makes dumb decisions and story direction that has me skipping over portions hoping for something to prop up. Her friends are by far the most uninteresting bunch of characters i've ever read about

BlackTarask
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

Good ideas. Probably a great story but I have some problems with how this novel is wrote. Mostly it's missing details. Details in the side characters reactions which make them a little bland. Details on what is happening during some time skip like how is the city after the first attack or more importantly why the Mc keep being with the general since she know the risk.

There is some really good things but the lack of details in the story don't make me want to continue reading it. (read until ch 20)