Diary of the Shadow Queen

STYLE: it's good but not the best either.

STORY: It's fine. Uses the same old cultivation story and apocalyptic trope mixed with the author's taste.

GRAMMAR: It's OK. No major or glaring errors.

CHARACTER: This is where I'm really bothered. I'm not into Yuri. Although, you can't really categorized this into yuri since the mc is gender bent, but he's a girl already! I can't help but picture out a girl kissing a girl when I read this one. I'm not homophobe or anything, I support LGBT but Yuri isn't just for me. Sorry

I like your story but I can still do more work! Btw I like stories like this so I look forward to many like this, keep it up!

Simply amazing, I fully recommend.

The grammar and spelling are well done, the story is interesting and well written.

Can't wait to see where the author takes it.

This is a series that develops its characters quite well. Maxine is a great character and I like her interactions with everyone, friend and foe.

Good ideas. Probably a great story but I have some problems with how this novel is wrote. Mostly it's missing details. Details in the side characters reactions which make them a little bland. Details on what is happening during some time skip like how is the city after the first attack or more importantly why the Mc keep being with the general since she know the risk.

There is some really good things but the lack of details in the story don't make me want to continue reading it. (read until ch 20)

I have enjoyed reading about the character particularly in regards to her creativity and compasion.

The story is enjoyable to read but the fact is that Maxine's father basically killed his daughter with his actions. The fusion of souls has lead that there only exists bits and pieces of the original Maxine and Maxvell is clearly the driving force. Even in this situation the parents are acting like everything is fine and dandy.

4,5/5 for the story itself and lowered to 3,5/5.

I'm going to try to write this review without spoiling anything. 

Story:

The story started off decently but quickly took a downward spiral, most of the actions the main character takes doesn't exactly show that of a mid 20s man. The story is also quite inconsistent, the premise of the story in the beginning is that of a apocalypse, this quickly deteriorated down to it not being an apocalypse and turned into a family drama-xianxia sect novel instead?

Grammar:

I usually copy and paste novels I read on here into a text to speech program because it makes it easier for me to read and follow along as well as let me do things well enjoying novels. Even with that though, I've noticed frequent grammar mistakes being made within the novel, just spelling mistakes you would expect from a sentence being typed too quickly. This can be easily fixed with typing out the chapter first in google docs first to see the grammar mistakes or even just rereading the chapter a few times. Another thing I am disappointed about is the near 0 development of the 

Character:

The worst thing I've found is the inconsistent character personalities and bahaviors. Like how the MC both hates men but ohh every man the mc knows she's perfectly fine with them

. Another character relation I've hated within this novel is how the MC is stated to be a lesbian many times and is 'dating' this girl but she never says it when relationship issues pop up within the novel. She then somehow has a crush on her former best friend from her past life, but no because of her 

she doesn't feel attracted to anyone except her girlfriend. 

Honestly if you want to read this novel I'd only recommend reading the start of it. The further you read the further the story devolves and breaks. 

PS to the author; If you love this story I would recommend you do a rewrite of this story with more thought put behind it. Write your plan for the story and solidify your character's personalities to keep it in a list to look at whenever you're writing about a certain character. Use google docs or something else for editing and grammar checks. Plan story arcs and make sure there's sensical development in all the plot elements you've put into your story. 

There are no spoilers in this as most of the information can be found at the first chapter

I had to quit at chapter 11.

Its interesting but:

-The pacing is too fast. It feels like the story is skipping and its missing a lot of dialogs.

-To much a wall of text. Please put some space between the sentences. Make logical cuts or do a proofreading of it at least.

Last point which made me drop this in the end:

-Another lesbian mc. This one is personal but i feel like 99 of 100 female MCs are lesbian nowdays and it sucks.
There are some good lesbian storys but most are just like this one. MC is lesbian because the Author wants it.

As a note for the Author: When a boy turns into a girl or a girl into a boy there is more to it then just the body type.

There are hormons at play and they play a big part in how we feel. Sexual orientation is in the end just a biological reaction of our body to sensor input.
It is far more likely for a boy that turns into a girl to like boys.

 
That is the main reason why im sick of Web novels that use the lesbian card.

Its so overused and unrealistic that it breaks the story for me.

There really needs to be a tag for this or a warning on the front page text.

That is my personal opinion after chapter 11. If you are into this stuff then give it a go but for me this story is just to weird.

That beeing said i give it 3,5 stars for the main plot but had to deduce 1 star for the bad pacing and 1 star for the bad lack of proofreading and editing.

This is a story set in modern times, right before the apocalypse starts and afterward. There are many stories about a person in modern times dying and being sent to ancient times, or some cultivation realm, or another world of some sort to reincarnate into someone's body. This story is along that vein, and is about a guy dying post-apocalypse after being overrun by monsters and being sent back pre-apocalypse times; reincarnating into the body of a girl that had just died or had a complete mental collapse after years of child abuse by her father. Now in the body of a girl, she decides to try to start cultivating before the apocalypse happens in order to get above of the power curve. This is an interesting spin on the whole reincarnation and cultivation genres, and I look foward to where this will go as the story progresses. 

The grammar is pretty good and is very readable even if there are some silly mistakes. (See the synopsis above, where the author spells "dying" as "dieing.") However, I have not spotted any mistakes is grammar or spelling that have ruined the story or broken my immersion. 

All in all, this is a wonderful start to a story, and I am eagerly awaiting more chapters. Thank you kaplanicus, and keep up the good work.