Legend of the Empyrean Blacksmith

by beddedOtaku

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Comedy Fantasy LitRPG Male Lead Martial Arts Strong Lead Supernatural Wuxia
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

LEGEND OF THE EMPYREAN BLACKSMITH

After being kicked out of the orphanage due to turning 15, Lino finds himself stranded on the streets. With motivation to become the best blacksmith in the world, he seeks to become a disciple of the Bridge Village's best blacksmiths, only to be kicked out of all of them. He soon finds himself roaming the streets aimlessly on an empty stomach, jobless, peniless and homeless. After hiding himself in an alley when night fell, the reality finally catches up to him - he was truly alone.

Yet, morning come, he is greeted by a knee of an old man who, after beating him for sleeping in the old man's 'backyard', takes him in. Finally being given a helping hand, he clutches tightly onto it, becoming the old man's disciple and learning the ways of the crafting, naturally while flirting with the old man's wife in his free time.

Little did he know that this encounter would spark an adventure that would take him to the heights he never believed even existed, and would let him meet people he'd only read about in the books. It's a story of Lino - an orphaned child who would come to be known by many names, but only one that he'd ever truly accept: Empyrean Blacksmith.

 

Release schedule: 3 times a week (Mon, Wed, Fri)

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beddedOtaku

beddedOtaku

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Why is this on the trending list?

I have been reading stories on RRL for a number of years and I just can’t understand how this one made it on to the trending list.  

I admit that I don’t write stories so my opinion probably doesn’t mean crap. Also, I’ve only read up to chapter 2 of this story so there’s a possibility that it gets better as the story progresses, though I can’t see how. 

Grammar: 

Although there were a few grammar errors, I noticed more issues with sentence structure and flow rather than grammar. It sometimes reads as if it was fed into an antiquated translation software program and then posted here.

Style/Story/Character score: 

Keep in mind that I found this story on the trending list and thought I'd try it out. Summary: This is not a good story. The setting is weak, the MC is a childish flop, and the 2 supporting characters are vapid at best.

Weak: Chapter 1 is arguably the most important part of any book. It is supposed to hook the reader into reading more by introducing the players and setting the stage for the rest of the story. However, I don’t see that here. Point in case,  I got to the middle of chapter 2 and have no desire to read more. ...not hooked.

Childish: About half-way into chapter 1, the MC falls asleep in an alley. After some time, he wakes to see a “white-bearded fella that was nearly two meters tall”… MC’s response to this… 

“D-don’t kill me!” Lino exclaimed. “I… I know! I can wipe your ass!”

….

….

Who in the hell says that when being woken up by a stranger? Why is that the first thing that pops in his head? SMH

Vapid: A few lines down and this self-defacing attitude is suddenly replaced with childish arrogance when he meets an old man and his wife.  They come out of nowhere, beat the bratty MC, feed him, and then decide to take him on as an apprentice to teach him blacksmithing. There are no hints as to why he is fed or even chosen as a new apprentice. No indications that these supporting characters have any reason for being other than … well…I actually can’t see why they’re needed. Might as well have the MC stumble upon a magic hammer that suddenly makes him awesome. 

 

Again, this is just my opinion. But I just can’t see why anyone else would read beyond chapter 2

demonicdie
  • Overall Score

its good story if u can stand the MC manner.
he treat his Master like servant

hsteinvall
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I have only read one chapter so far, but it is obvious that the author is competent. I have grown tired of the overly simplistic and gratifying power trips that constitutes the majority of the stories on this site. The first chapter introduced the setting and the litRPG elements in a satisfying, world-building way. The MC seems kind of moronic, but at least he isn’t a pretty, super-talented, ex-secret spy and genius who reincarnated as a slime, so that’s something at least. There is some slight mistakes in the text, but only of the kind that comes from too little proof-reading. The author obviously knows proper grammar. All in all a good read so far, I’m just crossing my fingers that he tones down the Boke-tsukkomi a bit.

Saadido
  • Overall Score

"Please, mighty patriarch I want some more."

I'm impressed. It contains barely any mistakes with readable english ,thank you. Not cringy enough to cringe and highly entertaining. Infact Its the most entertaining wuxia i've read in a while.

Highly recomend this story, as it has potential and lots of it.