Original ONGOING Action Adventure Contemporary Fantasy Male Lead Martial Arts Multiple Lead Characters School Life Strategy Strong Lead

A mysterious entity decides to bestow certain individuals with a powerful tattoo. With it, anything becomes possible. The world is changing... and it has yet to be determined if it is for better or worse.

Two friends who grew up together, Ace and Vincent, decide to use the tattoo to do what they always dreamed of.

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  • Overall Score

The new synopsis is much better. :)

Here's what the story seems to be about so far:

Two friends, Ace and Vincent, get tatoos that give them litRPG/gamer type abilities. They complete challenges and buy stats, and become enemies and allies with other 'players' as the world begins to change. It's kinda 'apocalypse litRPG', with the twist that not everyone is a player, and the abilities are very broad; Qi, vampirism, and magic have shown up so far.

It's fast-paced and fun, but also fairly grindy; they spend a lot of time leveling up, and there isn't a whole lot of plot or drama yet.

The writing is fairly simplistic, but seems to be improving. It is easy to read and I had no trouble following what was happening, so that's a plus.

Check it out if you like litRPG in the real world.

  • Overall Score

Best(?) apocalypse point/store story.

World-disrupting-game-shop-system done right! Lot’s of worldbuilding. One of the only world-is-invaded-by-monsters story I’ve seen where the story doesn’t start and die in one generic city, but instead encompasses and attempts to include the whole world in the ever-building after effects of this type of story setting.

Good characters and mechanics used consistently.


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I wish I had a Tattoo like this...

Style 4.5 : The style is well done, but not amazing. While almost all parts of the story flow well together and the writing is solid there are occasionally bits of dialogue which feel a little naff and can tug on immersion. Overall its still really good, but some time spent on revision and editing would not be amiss.

Story 5 : I love the story, not much more to say about it as I don't want to give spoilers. It was really nice to see how to scale shifted seamlessly as the story progressed in a natural manner, and the plot overall has been enojoyable so far, keep it up!

Character 4 : This might be one of the weaker parts of the story, while the characters are nice, and they have a good dynamic, they also don't feel very deep. And thats just talking about the main two, if its not them then they might as well be cardboard cutouts, even Alice, who is quite close to the main guys, doesn't have much behined her and overall some extra character development would be very nice.

Grammar 5 : If there have been any mistakes then I've simply not noticed them, 5/5 for this I guess.


Overall 5 : While the characters are a little weak, the innovative system, great story, and world building pull this novel into the realm of 5/5, afterall this IS RRL we're talking about so I can't be too harsh :P overall, its really enjoyable to read and just a lot of fun.

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This story is very enjoyable to read at this time but it could definitely stand to improve! If you're reading this review then i press you to just start reading this, you'll enjoy it.

Style - I like it well enough. it gets the job done, the story is written in a simple manner that enables the author to get the story across to the reader but it could certainly be improved, however i feel this just comes with experience, at the moment it's fine.

Grammar - The grammar is great, i haven't noticed any spelling mistakes and all the sentences are structured in a good manner, i also haven't noticed things like constant use of short sentences or not enough enough longer sentences, it certainly feels like it always has correct spacing and a varied sentence length. The story is very easy to read because of this.

Story - At the current chapter im at (56, im a patreon supporter, thats how much i enjoy it, i pay money for it.) There is certianly a plot being worked on in the background of the story however it feels like our story is skipping forward a lot to be able to get to the bigger plot behind the story, i think it can be slowed down and go through the plot at a slower pace building on the world and the characters. Also I think it wouldn't hurt to foreshadow any future problems more, and make it more subtle. World building is a gradual process, that's why it is named building, not placing. It needs to be constantly worked on.

Characters - I believe the characters are a sour point in this story, not because they're horrible to read about, but because they could be so much better, at the moment it feels like they're just there to keep the plot train moving along. Whereas there's definitely enough substance in the world that the characters could be improved upon throughout.

Spoiler alert ahead

For example take Allen, a side character, his major interaction with the MC's went like this "Hi, i don't trust you, whats your story?" Allen says "Well all my family was killed by a bad guy", "okay i trust you now, here's access to 5% of the kingdoms profit". Most of the side characters are like that, they are used as cards to pull out of the pile when they are needed to interact with the MC's. The MC's themselves aren't that bad but they're certainly not the best. At the start we learn that Vince is covered in scars but thats about it to the backstory, we don't know their parents except they paid for their university tuition. We also know that vince lives life on the edge and he's emotionally hollow if he's not almost dying. Ace on the other hand is a stereo-typical "Hero for justice" again not much back-story, the author could certainly think about going back and re-writing some stuff and maybe adding in side chapters to flush out some other character like maybe Alice, who is mentioned once every 10 chapters or so.

But don't let me rant take away from the story, IT IS ENJOYABLE! And to expect more would make it one of the best on RRL, im certainly sure that the author can do that though, so please read this an enjoy the journey :D

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Has potential, but needs a lot of work

Style: The style could use a lot of work. The author often glosses over large portions of time with a sentence, and while this is fine to advance the story concerning the main characters, things should be going on world wide during that time. The diolouge could also use some major work. Pretty much any conversation not between the two main characters and even some between them are extremely cheesy. Surprise and tension is created and blown out of proportion in a short time and then resolved a sentence later. It's annoying.

Story: Quite an original idea for the most part. Sure, LitRPG has some common threads, but I like the twist of tatoos and I'm interested to see where it goes. It isn't too predictable, at least so far.

Grammar: Very good grammar, but there are times where the author uses exclaimation points excessively and/or with question marks which is bothersome.

Character: There isn't a lot of character development outside of the main characters, and the main characters could use some work. They both fall into some classic roles, Ace being a musclehead who has a girlfriend he wants to protect by getting stronger while also saving everyone he can (and constantly agonizing about those he can't save), and Vincet a smarter person who becomes addicted to the rush of battle and is also developing some psycopath tendencies. Even though they fall into that, the author doesn't execute it very well in my opinion. Generally the author shows why they developed those traits, but in this story it's just said as a fact and no explaination is given.

Plot Holes: There are a few things that don't make sense to me that the author doesn't explain. There are several, but here are the main ones:

1. There is no reason for why Ace and Vincet should be the most powerful people. Sure, they worked hard, but at the end of the day they're just students. There should be military and other people out there who have the means to go way further than they did.

2. What happens during the time skips. There are a ton of time skips throughout the story, and while there is a small explaination for what happens to the main characters during them, the author seems to assume the rest of the world stands still.

3. Why they don't get a ton of cheaper, smaller abilities. The author says some abilities are incompatible, but they have several million points and there are an abundance of powers they could buy that would probably fit in just fine. It would give them a lot of power at relatively little cost.


Overall: It's a great premise, but some work could be put into making sure the story flows well, makes sense, and doesn't get too cheesy. I probably should have given it a bit lower rating, but despite the many mistakes, it's an entertaining story. 

Moist Nugget
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Before I give my review I'd like to make one thing clear: I ENJOY reading this story. It's because I enjoy reading it that I feel I need to critique it. It has the potential to be 100% better than it is right now



The style of this story is practically unreadable. It's almost always a statement followed up by an action/response with little to no details (and MANY, many time skips) .

Here's an example: Vince sighed and asked aloud "why did we run out of chocolate ice cream so soon", Ace was embarrassed while thinking of a repsonse. 

Instead of showing, the author tells us. 

Here's a shitty example of how that example could be improved:

Vince sighed, calling out to Ace while staring at an empty container of chocolate ice cream "How did this happen!? I bought this earlier today!", Ace looked at Vince, avoiding his eyes while and thinking of a response to hide his embarrassment.

It might not seem like much, but when the whole story is like the first example, it makes it hard to read. I could just skip to the end and not miss out on anything important.

Story: 3

It should be 2.5, but I like the theme and basis of the story, so I upped my scoring. There's no plot to this. Don't expect plot when you read this story. I want to say that how the story progresses is a logical step up from what was previously done before, but the time skips and sudden drop in point counts and costs makes that hard. 

The Author based this story on a system that has tasks and challenges that award points, while also allowing you to kill people to gain points as well. These points can be used to buy almost anything. 

We see it in the beginning. Task A gives you X amount of points and so on. This isn't true for the later parts of the story. 

We are 'told' that they're doing things and gaining points, but we don't get the details anymore. Suddenly we don't know how much task A gives you. We don't know the X so the author just skips anything he considers 'not important' while moving on to say "they did this, this and that. So they have 200,000 points" without any real explanation. 


The grammar is practically flawless. Apart from a couple mistakes here and there, you don't really see anything wrong.

Characters: 0.5

If there was a way to just put a huge 0 as a rating, I would do so here. There aren't really characters apart from the MC's and one of the MC's girlfriend, and these aren't even any good. All other "characters" are less than stereotypes and more like cardboard cutouts that didn't come out quite right.

Ace:always trying to get stronger, meathead, knight in shining armor, protector of humanity

Vince:Rush seeker, doesn't care about anybody other than MC, wouldn't give two shits if anybody died, purposefully allows himself to get hurt for the rush

Mc's GF: I want to help humanity, think about the kids in africa

That's pretty much everything we've learned about the main characters. I'm being quite literal here, 49 chapters in and this is EVERYTHING we know about those characters.

In ch.47 we got the worst stereotype char in the whole story, the GF's parents. 

Here are the GF's parents:

They go to the MC's city, find their daughter and her house, tell her to change out of her 'peasant clothes', she confronts them and they basically respond with "why do you want to help those poor people in 3rd world nations? They're peasants and they're beneath you" then the MC walks into the house, gets told to get out and is promptly shot by the butler. After being shot, the guards show up and while the butler is being grabbed by a guard, the Dad says "Stop! He's under my protection" and I shit you not, tries to bribe the guard with a fat stack of cash. Once they find out that the MC is the ruler of the city they suddenly start kissing ass. 

Everybody is a stereotype, everyone except for the big bad dungeon master. He's less than a stereotype.

He's a 3 sentence type of guy who only mentions how "they'll pay", or "you did this to yourselves for messing with me", and my favorite "this is because you locked me away for 30 years" as his reasons for killing millions and trying to destroy nations.


Now for the support. I believe this story could become a diamond in RRL. Author, slow down. Fix what you've got. Make an actual story here. You have the foundation for a fantastic novel.

With everything you've posted, all you'd need to do is stop making new chapters and go back over what you've done. Flesh out the characters, make the dialog more realistic and "human". There's more depth to a person than "want to do this?" and "sure bro". 

  • Overall Score

The abillities are too static, it should have more variation from person to persoperson.  Like a talented person being able to use qi more efficiently.  Also everything can be bought with points so it seems like it will be less dynawillin that people won't need to think abiut getting people with school or doing specialized training but instead just consider hoe to get more points.  Language is a little dull.  I like it though.

  • Overall Score

On chapter 27, looking forward to much more. 

Two friends building a safe haven for humanity. They have good morals with a nice dark twist of rapist skull crushing. This has been very satisfying to read as they make all the decisions most of us wish we could make.

Really looking forward to more

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It's honestly not that bad,there will always be people complaining on the choices that the characters took,but i think they are somewhat right.

I did not expect this grammar nor the quality.Keep up the good work i love it

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Awesome story, definitely worth your time to read.

Awesome awesome story. I read all the chapters that where out in one sitting (42 of them). I thouroughly enjoyed it and cannot wait for more to be released. The Main Characters are some seriously badass dudes, Ace and Vincent. More details about the story below, in the spoiler.

Quick btw if you don't want to read the spoiler:

It comes down to two things, do you like badassery and awesome as fuck powers? Read it.


Spoiler: Spoiler