The Demon and The Angel (stub)

by VRDraco

Original Action Adventure Comedy Fantasy Romance Magic Male Lead Martial Arts Reader interactive Strong Lead Supernatural Virtual Reality

Book 1: In the Virtual Reality World of Aurora events begin unfolding behind the scenes unseen by the masses. When the God of Evolution woke from his slumber he only brought misfortune to some by unconsciously cursing them. Though unfortunate they also hold fate on their hands as they grow in power they will soon be the greatest powers in the three realms. Back to their most primal form watch how a young imp and fallen angel fight to grow and regain their lost power and their rightful place as the Prince of Demons and Princess of the Gods before a new Great Celestial war comes hunting for their lives baring their fangs at the changes to the world their very existence are causing. PSS: Please vote and leave reviews i want to know how the story rates not only overall

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VRDraco

VRDraco

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AkrimNecronum
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great story but the development of the characters fell short.

  1. VRDraco you have found balance in your writing style of storytelling and necessary information about the world. Your story is great and the foundation is good but you fell short in developing your characters you introduced too many characters in a short periods of time and  many major events occurred. For example your two lead main characters  development occurred too fast and I'm not speaking about the rank ups  I'm talking about their personalities I felt that after they left to go train at the dungeon and the chapters that followed you stopped displaying their growth when you introduced all the new characters and making them lords and it felt forced same as with the romance which also seemed forced because the focused was shifted towards their world development and other events related to it and not the lives of the characters. I was happy that Lilian Baal and lily are in a relationship but apart from lily whose advances where obvious Lilian just didn't give me that feel when she was in the demon world all she said was that she missed Baal nothing in that hinted to romantic feelings I that the love just family love.I was also happy with the other romances but they didn't feel natural because there were no hints to fact that they would end up together well I would exclude the twins because they have special needs which need to be taken care by a certain male demon fox but other than that all I have to say is maybe a small rewrite would be in order to salvage the situation you don't need to change much just add more character interaction to give more depth to them because right now their are very bland. You could do .5 chapters for the interactions in the day to day life of the characters. Well thats my opinion on the matter your choice on what you do with it. I will continue reading.
raven exe
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The story definitely has a lot of potential. The plot is very good.

Do keep up the good work. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

hanzo2710
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i like it for lots of reasons but i am to lazy to explain

the plot in of it self is interesting not to different from the usual VR but at the same time with enough twists to make it stand out ok a lot of twists to make it stand out

Wannabeproofreader
  • Overall Score

Really interesting plot design, but the characters lack a bit of depth it just seems like they're trotting along and also the synopsis could use a revamp it's kind of misrepresenting what this FF is about (makes it sound like they were already full grown and then lost their powers). Even though i say all this i still found this a great read and i'm looking forward to how this story advances.

piens15
  • Overall Score

This story has (kind of)  end point set and i like that is rare for the fanatics on this site to haw a goal of any kind .

FalleN
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Interesing,it is worth my time.

I don't want to speak a lot because I have seen only 2 chapters but it looks good and the way that it is going is good.Try to not destroy this.

zlightning123
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This fanfiction is awesome

This fanfic is my favorite on royal road. The story is very well written and has a great premise. In my opinion, the only problem that needs fixing in this fanfic is the occasional grammar or spelling mistake that occurs a few times in every chapter. If you want to attract more viewers though, maybe you should try sexing up the story a bit with Baal, Lily, and Lilian. After all, it worked for wordserphant when he wrote dragon child of thunder.

boridu
  • Overall Score

good although...im dropping im this

Cons

1) while it has 2 lead characters; it feels as though there is 1 female lead with 1 male support lead character

2)Too many deus ex machina powers and victories

3)after 30 or so chapters the leads still arent fleshed out

4)no background immersion details-ever

5)story progression seems to either feels rushed or without details. in addition to the filler

6)A bad case of "guest" appearances throughout the story

7)side characters are essentially pawns with no hard emotions or personality

8)Guns in what should have been a medieval  world.

Pros

1)unique story line or what it could have been

2) minor amounts of grammatical errors

3)numerous amounts of  drawings which help you understand how the author intent better

4) There is no singular good and evil.

7) long chapters with frequent updates

 

Thank you for you time and good night

DanceHunter
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It's amazing history. The characters are very well done and I hope to continue for long. Hopefully no arches kidnap and ransom, they are the most hatred. Well, if faster update it would be good, but is good as it is now. Thanks for everything and I hope more chapters: D

SileNeshoba
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A Different Kind of Adventure

I never would have thought that the devil and the angel were npcs of a game. I'm quite happy to see a novel bassed on the npc side of the story, especially since it is rare for the virtual reality genre. It is a great book and can't wait to continue reading the second book. You are a great author so keep writting!