Chronicles of a Dungeon Core

by dragon_knight79347

Original ONGOING Action Adventure Drama Fantasy LitRPG Magic Male Lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Sexual Content

A young man awakens to find himself in what he is told is the depths of a dungeon. He is told he will have a month to train before setting out on his own to make his own dungeon. Most dungeons cores are born with all the knowledge they are required to survive, but for some reason this young man has trouble adjusting.  The story follows the life of dungeon core #212 while he discovers just what it means to be a dungeon core.

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Birth ago
Training Begins ago
Dungeon Core Information & Mis[Communication] ago
Defining Battle ago
Training in Madam Erin's Dungeon ago
Pushing our Limits ago
The Seventh-day ago
A New Home ago
Gunner and Leo ago
3rd Princess of Gowen ago
Belinda Gowen ago
Belinda's Discovery ago
Belinda's Birthday ago
A Heroic Encounter ago
Belinda's Decision ago
Belinda's Return to Adventuring ago
The Elder's Summons ago
A New Threat ago
XP Shortage ago
Madam Erin's Dungeon ago
Belinda's Return ago
C-Ranked Trouble ago
Escape ago
Tragedy in Tobes ago
Recovering From Tragedy ago
Denova's Plan ago
Returning to Denova's Place ago
Belinda, Two-Twelve, and Zoey? ago
Happy Birthday... ago
The New Cores Training Begins ago
Zoey's Recklessness ago
Adair, Phobos, and Queen ago
The New Elder ago
Trip to the Capital ago
Meeting with Queen ago
Meeting the King ago
Our New Home ago
Two-Twelve Citizen of Tobes ago
Back to Work ago
Housewarming Party ago
Logan's Trip to the Dungeon ago
Once Again Into The Tower of the Gods ago
The Girls Return ago
The Winter Solstice Festival ago
Finding the Perfect Gift ago
Training Camp ago
Kline Torres ago
Logan and Queen's Arrival ago
Failed Attempt ago
A Surprise Announcement ago
Observation Screen ago
Dyson's Meeting ago
Once More into the Tower of the Gods ago
Unexpected Guest ago
Dyson's First Request ago
Lilah's Birthday Party ago
Scylla and Zoey's Birthday ago
Dungeon Core #245 ago
Inari's Training ago
Inari's Training Part 2 ago
Inari's Training Part 3 ago
Inari's Evaluation ago
Madam Erin's Bet ago
Katie Finds her Place ago
2nd Annual Winter Solstice Festival ago
Dungeon #135 ago
Meanwhile Back in Tobes ago
Reprimanded ago
Dungeon Expansion ago
An Audience with the King ago
Kline's Decision ago
Summer Ends as the Wedding Approaches ago
Final Preparations ago
The Wedding ago
Catalina ago
The Aftermath ago
Southern Merretta ago
Traveling with Listel ago
Ingress Mine ago
Return to Catalina ago
Dungoen #21 ago
Dungeon #95 ago
Dungeon #684 ago
The Next Task ago
Dungeon Building ago
Dyson's Help ago
Shortcut to Exeter ago
The Second City of Exeter ago
Ruined Colosseum Dungeon ago
Training Interruption ago
Exeter's Queen ago
Long Day ago
Amassing the Troops ago
Our Continued Struggle ago
Dungeon Core #135 ago
Maeve's Training ago
Two-Twelve's New Training ago
Two-Twelve's Daughters ago
Two-Twelve's Decision ago
Guided Tour ago
Starting Our Investigations in Toran ago
Sidetracked in the Capital ago

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 Edit: This review only applies to chapters 1 through 74 (The Wedding). Everything that comes after that is so different, and is such shite, that it would lower all my ratings by a minimum of half, and is making me angry just having to think about the fact that I read it.

I love this story so far. So much. It's everything I've been looking for, for years. It's a dungeon story, that keeps the human element, with good romance, a strong lead, but still a compelling plot. I feel like there are actually stakes, and I've grown close with the characters.

So first of all, I can remember all of the characters names. That is incredible. I don't think people fully understand how much of a feat that is to do. You have developed this huge roster, and even after I've read 44 chapters, I can remember nearly all of their names. Because I know who each of these characters are. If you say Roxy, I can tell you everything about her from how she was a slave bought for cheap because of a scar, and used to work behind the bar in the brothel, to how she is now living in Two-Twelves house as an adventurer and lover to Zoey. You have developed all these characters, and they feel like real people to me. I am invested in their lives, and want them to grow and become better, and it's wonderful.

Next, the story. I think you've done a wonderful job mixing action adventure with slice of life. I find myself just as invested in all the relationships between the characters as I do the advancement of the dungeon. And they all feel like the have full story arcs with conclusions that progress their individual sections. The whole plot with them judging for the new Elder, how no character is black or white, how the pretender seemed so nice at first before slowly becoming sinister. All of these have really helped add a sense of tension. Is Two-Twelve going to be ok? What are the big plans Laura has? Is Klien ever gonna get laid? It's just such a good slow developing plot that has so many interconnected pieces and I love reading about it.

Now for my one critisism. The style can get a bit funky sometimes. I don't mean grammar or anything like that, just the sort of flow that you get in certain scenes. I think the action scenes are the biggest point, they can feel a bit stiff sometimes, or floaty. Sort of like we're reading about it from camera angles, that are flashing by too quickly, or something. It's hard to describe, but it can definitely ruin immersion in the story sometimes. The other thing is dialogue and perspectives. I think most people on this site don't have a problem with this that much, but I personally dislike the [Character 1: "Hi character 2" Character 2: "Hi character 1" "Hi character 1 and 2, I'm the Main Character."] kind of style. It helps the dialogue go by faster, and I know who is speaking sure, but I get no context clues from them since I can't hear them speaking. I can't read the subtleties of language that I can hear, things like tone of voice, or quivering, without the author doing some drastic "...I-I... I'm f-fine, I s-swear." sort of thing. And while that works for certain emotions like sadness, trauma, fear, excitement, its harder to get that across with other emotions. If a character says "ok" I want to know, are they saying that in a clipped way because they're angry at someone? Are they pouting as they say it because they didn't get what they want? Are they happy, yet forlorn because they don't want to do something, but they are feeling better due to another character? That sort of thing. You've done a pretty good job with this actually, even with this writing style. It's relatively easy to read between the lines, it's just a personal gripe of mine. It feels like you're treating your readers like dumb sheep when you write like that, and in the same vein it feels that way as well when you do the giant MAYORS SPEECH transitions. Some smoother transitions, or again, context clues in describing detail could really help there. Again, just my own personal thing.

I think you have done a fantastic job with the story. I started reading it at noon this morning, and I didn't finish it until 10:15 pm. You have so much awesome content packed into so many chapters, none feel rushed, I love nearly every aspect about it, and even better, It's not done yet! You've been posting like a madman and I can't wait to continue reading this amazing story!

  • Overall Score

Love the story so far. I like the flow so far as well as the character development .

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Very fun story so far, and I like the new way they are writing the dungeon system and giving motivation for how their dungeons act. The dungeons are also able to compete and communicate so there has been a lot of politics and scheming which is entertaining to read. 

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This is shaping into a rather fun dungeon book. 

  • Overall Score

Nearly unreadable combat scenes

I really wanted to like this story; the premise seems like it would have been great fun, and I looked forward to reading about it. Unfortunately, the execution left me disapointed.  

By far the worst issue is that the combat scenes are absolutely impossible to read. The description is dry and disjointed, going through what happens with each group of minions at a given point in time before jumping to the next. Furthermore, the groups in question are not well-disambiguated from each other, needing the reader to recognize them by their equipment and few distinguishing characterictics - which does NOT pair well witht the jumpy exposition. The end result is that it takes a very considerable amount of effort just to undestand what is going on at all.

But - don't take my word for it! Here is a couple of paragraphs of this exposition from the story itself:

Example Scene

The rusty sword and shield goblins charge into the spear using kobolds along with the other goblins. The final great-sword wielding goblin moves in on the mages.

The kobold mages each in turn hit the blue slimes with fire spells as they try to slither across the battlefield to attack the spear kobolds. The great-sword wielding kobold drops the iron equipped goblin that is not wearing armor and attempts to brake the group up, but not before the remaining four sword and shield goblins take out the spear users.

The goblins keep pushing the group of kobolds in as all the sword and shield goblins gang up on the great-sword kobold. The great-sword wielding Goblin manages to take out one of the mages while the spear using goblins hold off the sword and shield wielding kobolds. 

 EDIT: Thankfully, this does get a little better later on in the story, where minions are called "Archer" or "Mage" instead of "rusty sword and shield goblin"; I've upped my rating from 2 to 2.5 accordingly. 

  • Overall Score

This story, while not having been posted until recently, is a very well thought out and intriguing tale.  I fully hope that the author will not suffer burnout at the rapid pace of the chapter postings, as that would be the most undesirable outcome I can consider.  This author has talent and I look forward to the continuation of this story and the direction it takes.

  • Overall Score

Man I love this story, it's not the best story I have ever read but is the best when we see that most dungeon stories burned themself after some times.

I hope to see more of this after you finish migrating to rrl.

Still don't like the outcome of 37 but it's more of my personal preferences as I don't like much that her death was so plain and without more feeling.

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I like it but I don't love it

like it but dont love it as of chapter 41 or so

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 I have never seen a story get made this fast Ever! love the story and not that i mind not having a holy church out to get all undead / demon dungeons lol.

wish i could write even 1/10 as fast and as good as you, then i could write 1/10 as good as you. tongue-out