Eterna's Source

by unice5656

Original Adventure Fantasy Romance Female Lead Magic Male Lead Multiple Lead Characters

Sery is a Source, born with immense magic but unable to use it. Enslaved for her power, her life is one of abuse and exploitation until one day, when everything changes.

Veltyen, a sword-mage, rescues her, releasing her from her chains. He takes her to join the mage guild Eterna, where she learns she can help others without being used. As her magic boosts the guild to entirely new levels of power, trouble brews. Other guilds want Sery's power, and they are willing to destroy Eterna to get it.

(This story has strong romantic elements, so if you don't like romance, you probably won't like it)

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unice5656

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evolve95
  • Overall Score

Quickly becoming my favorite fiction

I’ll start by precursing this review by saying I’m a hopeless romantic…  Now that I’ve made that clear, this is an awesome novel so far, even despite only being 7 chapters in with a slow release rate.  I read this author’s novel Fantasia first and I’m have to say I’m very impressed by the entirely different writing style this story has compared to the last!  Where the last story was very comedy driven and had an entertaining self-aware narrator telling the story with their comical quirky bias, this new story is very character and romance driven with the best single word I can think to describe Eterna is just “fluffy”.

The MCs it has so far are an adorable pair, and always leave you just happy for them.  The whole magic system is unique and really interesting always leaving me interested to hear more about it.  I am excited to see more of the story to the point where I'm not even bummed know it'll have slow releases because I'll take anything I can get no matter how long I need to wait for it.  If you despise anything with romance in it don't read this, but if you don't... You're going to love this!

baengi
  • Overall Score

A really promising debut

*Reviewed after reading the 6 chapters available*

 

A really promising start. The world building seems well thought of. The magic system is coherent and well explained for 6 chapter worth of text. The stories is written with alterning POV of 2 MC a guy and a girl, and it is really interresting to see the discrepancy between both. The story leave a really good fuzzy feeling and the story flow particularly well, taking the reader along and not letting him go until the last chapter available. The MCs, particulary the girl, are well defined which is very great. Of course after 6 chapters you can't expect the panel of side characters to be anywhere past a general naming and place in the story, so on that side it's ok.

Now, it's my personnal opinion, and since it seems to be an artistic choice made by the author, she probably won't change it; however, i something think that some sentence are maybe a bit longer than they should because the author use a...flowery style, i would say. Which in turn increase the number of comma in a sentence. Well, it work both way, it allow the reader to slow down and appreciate the scenery that the author is trying to show but at some points in the story I would have liked if thing got a bit more fast paced. But don't take that as a negative point of view, after all I've read Earth's Children by Jean M. Auel who could describe the scenery for a couple pages worth and i still immensely appreciated his (her?) books.

 

I'm very eager to see what the author have in reserve for that story. Keep up the good work!

Togg
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really , REALLY well written

a normal taciturn person such as myself. rarely ever even makes a comment on a story... however i feel the need to say, this lovestory?... couldnt be told better..

 

the MC... well, yeah, he is a bit dense (how far we will see in upcoming chapters)... the secondary MC... hits you in the feels (yall know what i mean) held captive for 1/2 her life.. fed off of by a literal mana vampire... and then rescued by a "Knight" on a noble steed..

 

seeing her (in my head) reactions.. her actions and her desires (plus some of her thoughts) makes her rescuers actions and reaction more human...

 

say what you will... this story may not be for you .. but nonetheless, its well written  

 

 

Wade
  • Overall Score

Wow I love this story

Amazing. Only 3 chapters and I'm alredy hoked.

ell_fen
  • Overall Score

I love it, can not wait for more

came here from your other fiction and I have to say, impressed with how good your romance story is already especially when your comedy writing is so good, pulling of a different genre can be difficult 

birdyman
  • Overall Score

 So far, this story is told from two points of view, alternating frequently – the girl and guy main characters.  They’re slowly learning to depend on each other.  It makes me feel very fuzzy and warm.  They’re both very likeable, too.

 

The world here seems well thought-out so far, and the magic system has an original flair that is used creatively and drives the story forward. Personally I want to be the magician whose specialty is making food taste good.

 

The means for potential conflict is pretty clearly  explained and foreshadowed, and I’m confident that when it comes there will be more than ample justification.

 

All in all, the care with which this has been written clearly shows – there are very few details that do not contribute to building the story/characters in some way, even – and I’m looking forward to seeing it continue.

Allstarall
  • Overall Score

It's soooo fluffy and cute!!!! Except for her origin, everything is slightly shaded in pink! 

There are two povs involved in this story, but that gives a better view of what's happening.

The world building is done well, not stacking paragraphs at me, but not too little that we don't know anything.

The characters are good, not machines, and we like them, though Sery seems a bit too innocent after what she's been though. Her timidness and slight ignorance is good though.

 

Great story if you are looking for FLUFF. COTTON CANDY CLOUD FLUFF. From the description though, it seems it might have a darker turn, but that isn't here yet at chapter 9.

shot4213
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A Nice Break from All the Reincarnation

 It's a really nice slice of life story. It's pretty relaxing, the conflict is relatively low key, and overall Eterna is just a nice read. While Sely and co do have to deal with problems and whatnot, they don't go through some construed process to solve it. While the udpates are kinda slow, the story feels like it is growing naturally.

Lintastic
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Easily another Addiction

Overall, I am extremely intrigued! This story is what I live on, my bread and butter. It’s extremely easy reading with a constantly hooking storyline that was sprinkled generously with enjoyable characters. I thought the magic use and how it was defined within the story was extremely lovely and well thought out overall.

I did notice a few grammatical/punctual errors, nothing major but something that would easily get missed in a standard document editor. It would take some more thorough reading with the concept of editing in mind to find it again, but it was not at all distracting from the story.

This type of story is exciting to read, something I would love to see more of in the future if there ever gets to be another chapter!

Specifics: style is very easy to like, very nice overall, and I certainly enjoy how the story is put to words.

This story has my full and undivided attention and I simply cannot wait to read more!

Grammar can use a little refresh here and there. I feel that while I can read through and devise the meaning, it doesn't detract from the whole as much, but if it were to get published I'd encourage another edit to double check.

Characters, I just simply don't know as much as I want and I feel that certain ones didn't get introduced in as much detail as I'd like. I just want more, and in my desire to want more, I feel like my ability to rate them well has made it hard to rate it higher.