Mindcontroller

by WinterHeart

Original Fantasy Psychological Romance Harem
Kirito Greyard discover a strange power that allows him to mindcontrol living beings. With this power he swore revenge on all schoolmates who bullied him.
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  • Followers :
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  • Ratings :
  • 3
  • Pages :
  • 2
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WinterHeart

WinterHeart

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For now it has to be a low star review, but I hope you will get better.
Haven´t seen many mind control novels so I hope this will be a good one, but from what I have seen you are far from good, I understand you just starting, that´s why I´m writing this as soon as possible.
Definettly do  something about that grammar and sentence structure.
The chapter was really short and didn´t tell us anyting long enough to remember other that the MC is a di*k to woman. 
Style of writing is good, seen in many novels I have read so that is something you just have to keep going.
Hope to see this maybe rewritten in the future ( if you get the chapter numbers to 2 digit numbers ) so the chapters are longer, other that that I wish you fun writing :)
The idea is not bad just have to make it look worth reading :)