Original Action Adventure Fantasy Sci-fi Tragedy

Davin Pentcross has achieved his lifelong dream of being a level one hundred adventurer on his homeworld Eternity Ring, a massive ringworld in which strength and a person's level dictate how society functions. But Davin is old. When he loses everything he holds dear, Davin discovers an odd ring in an ancient dungeon. The moment he puts it on, he loses a level. In exchange for returned youth, the ring saps his powers and makes him lose a level everyday until he is killed or becomes a level one again. In a world where a person's level means everything, Davin is doomed to become weaker and must use his experience to survive the harsh world of the Eternity Ring. nafzfrn.png

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The Smiling Man

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G_B
  • Overall Score

Summary:  A LitRPG novel that follows a man who has risen from the ranks from the lowest of life forms, to a respected commander. However a turn for the worst (?) happens, and he receives what appears to be a death sentence. Now, he must struggle for survival once again. 

 

Grammar: Punctuation, spacing, dialogue and grammar all is well done without mistakes from what I've see

 

The "System" :The System I am writing refers to the leveling and skill system for this novel. Unlike other novels, this LitRPG universe has already been in existence for centuries if not millenniums. It has a very, very rigid hierarchy and class system based on generations and levels. The leveling is par for the course, but all skills are either earned through killing monsters and earning their skills, or  through family lines (explaining hierarchy). Currently there isn't much info given, but that is important as even the MC, who has lived a life of warfare and fighting, truly still only knows the tip of the iceberg. 

 

Characters: Currently driven by the MC alone, this novel's MC is very likable. Has outstanding character traits and leadership abilities, who doesn't go off in euphoria once he has a young body.

 

Overall:  LitRPG is my favorite genre, and this novel is one of my favorites in that genre. I love the mystery behind the world and how we, and the MC,  really don't know much, allowing for discovery later in the novel's development. The magic system and leveling system are solid, but what intrigues me is how the MC will combat his new abilitiy of losing a level a day. Obviously at a low level he can easily kill high lvl mobs and live indefinitely, but we all want to see the MC become strong and powerful (like lvl 300 powerful), so it is very interesting to see how he will do this. Plus, I just approve of the MC in general. 

 

Improvements to be made: I can't think of anything fair to write as the novel is still in the beginning and there isn't much to fairly criticize and thus improve, as we  haven't had time to fully understand the world or the MC or his motivation.

deathless.smile
  • Overall Score

Nice enough start- good potential!

I might redo this sometime later, but this story seems to have good enough potential. The characters aren't flawed or anything, and the concept is good enough. Immersion isn't as deep yet (duh it just started), and I am really looking forward to the future of this story. :D

JackFrosty
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A great read definitely worth the time!

First of all, if you're reading this review STOP!  Read at least the first chapter of the story and if you somehow manage to only stop there then I guess you can come back and read the rest of this review. This is an engaging read that is also very well executed. 

The story is a  new and interesting take on your standard video game style world with the characters born into the world with a level among other things. It starts however, at the end of what you would think.  The main character having already proved himself against all odds, reaching level 100. 

The grammar in the story is very good although not perfect. There are mistakes here and there, but overall it does not detract from the story. The style of the writing is sometimes a little hard to understand, but I think that the fact that abilities and stats are not explained or listed directly most of the time makes the story flow better.

The characters are some of my favorite I have ever seen in a story, with each having their own personality slowly develop. That isn't to say that everyone is who you think they are at first glance with each having many facets that reveal themselves over time.

If you've made it this far please, just read it. You don't know what you're missing.

Root Greevil
  • Overall Score

A worthwhile read, albeit one with a few flaws

I have enjoyed this story and plan to follow it until its conclusion unless something changes dramatically. That being said, there are a few things that people might dislike about the story. First its good points. The writing is better than average on RRL as is the grammar. The plot is interesting and it flows nicely.

There are two major drawbacks though in my opinion. One is the information overload. As soon as you start reading the author bombards you with technical words and jargon, some of which is never actually explained and you are forced to pick it up as you go. This makes it hard to understand what is going on since, while there are no information dumps, the story takes it to far the other way and I as a reader really have no clue what half the stuff means. The magic system and skills are a mystery, as is the tattoo system. There is a real lack of cohesion here that could impede a reader from being immersed in the story. 

Another drawback is the character development of the MC. I find there isn't much and from what you do get his actions do not always make sense. The backstory as given so far does not satisfy me and certain things do not fit. *minor spoiler* Like how the MC seems to hate the aristocracy, but at the same time is a goody two-shoes who will not break the law, but at the same time is friends with some sort of smuggler. I can't really get a read on the MC and his actions just don't have cohesion as I see it.

All that being said, I do like the story and think it is above average on RRL. Getting past the information overload in the beginning is the hard part I think, but after that when you have a bit more understanding you can enjoy the story more. If you think the premise sounds interesting I think you should give it a shot and read the first few chapters, don't just stop after the first or second one.

Jekke604
  • Overall Score

Great story and a hidden gem.

At first U was hesitant to read this story thinking it would be a waste of time.

But boy was I wrong, this is a truly original story. Believe me I've read almost every decent story in this site and negative man jumps out as ons of the best.

Don't just take my word for it but read the first five or so chapters U promise you'll be hooked.

Alexanderx
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I like the story plot but there are  too many inconsistencies .In the first chapter it is explained that his parents are alive  and he sends them a letter which will 

reach them in a few days  then in the blue 98 chapter it says they died when he was young  there are many error like them like in the CH 1 it mentions that the Mac was lv 8 in his elementry school and latter on it says   he was lv 1 in the flashback  of his childhood      the  concepts are good but not very well explained kept confusing me the grammer is pretty good

Jetzer2232
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A different take on the levelling genre. Read this.

Due to unfortunate circumstances, Davin is losing a single level every day. 

The main character is at the end of his life with skills that surpass most people. However, the element of danger in losing a level every day adds a different sense of tension and suspense which would be lacking in the generic sort found in Royal Road.

 

The grammar is good enough to read. You may find the odd spelling mistake every few chapters but that is negligible.

Read it. 

h2h1z
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If you hate this you have no soul

Truly a moving story, I love the flow and gentle yet firm tugs on the heartstrings that this story provides. A tale of tragedy and an MC living as he learned despite what life gives him in return.