Grey stone, that was what the walls, floor, and ceiling were all made of. Boring unchanging grey stone, the changes in shade and size between the stones were the only things that kept this place from being totally uniform. I guess all the people in the rows of cage like cells did that too, but I’ve been trying to put that and my situation out of my mind. Honestly though, that wasn’t really working.
It was hard to not think about my situation since there were constant reminders of it everywhere, even when I retreat to the confines of my mind I have to face the fact I was remembering less and less. It was somehow incredibly disturbing and at the same time unimportant how I seemed to have lost all memory of anything besides some basic knowledge. I couldn’t even call what I had memories anymore, and it was less an action of remembering now as it was just accessing knowledge.
Ironically enough the memories that were crystal clear were all from my time here in this cell, all memories I’d rather do without. I also had vague feelings now, feelings that told me that something was off inside of myself. I felt incomplete, uncomfortable in my own body, and strangely enough it had nothing to do with the fact I was covered with two and a half weeks’ worth of dirt and my own filth. It felt like I was somehow empty inside, not in a hungry sort of way but in some sort of deeper more meaningful way.
The feeling bugged me, I thought my body looked fine. There weren’t any sort of disfigurations and all my parts seemed in the right place at least, I was even fairly sure that the gash on my leg was healed up now though it was fairly hard to tell through the coating of dirt that constantly covered my pale skin. I really wished I could have a nice long bath or at least a wet washcloth or something to clean myself with, but apparently my blue shirted keepers didn’t think their prisoners’ hygiene and cleanliness was very important.
“Then again I guess I should be worried about a lot more than how dirty I am right now… Or maybe I’m just reading too much into that. I really hope that’s the case…” The man who came to give the midday slop today did something really worrying, he had stopped at my cell and said some things I couldn’t understand in a creepy tone before making this sort of wide evil looking smirk. He even gave me an extra handful of slop before walking away while cackling, some of the other people in the cells nearby had given me pitying looks ever since. I was pretty sure it meant that something fairly horrible was going to happen to me, and ever since I’ve been trying to find anything else I could focus on to distract me. So I chose to look at the wall and floors to count all the stones and cracks in them.
I guess what I was doing was sort of sad and pathetic, but honestly I couldn’t think of much else I really could do other than try and avoid the problem for as long as I could. I didn’t think there really was a real way to face the fact that I’d likely be facing horrible torture very soon besides trying to avoid it by focusing on something else, it wasn’t like I could do anything to stop or avoid whatever was coming after all. I was chained up, small, weak, and unable to speak the language of wherever I was, that limited my options to basically nothing.
I guess I knew this would happen eventually, I just… I shook my head and smiled a little at the ridiculousness of were my thought had been headed. I just what? Wish it would never be my turn to get tortured? That I wasn’t even here? That I knew anything about who I was or why any of this was happening? Well if wishes were horses I’d have to build my own stable by now…
I sighed and turned so that I could lay down on my side, if I was going to get tortured soon I might as well get some rest in now while I still could. “Looking on the bright side of things, at least I got an extra serving of lunch today… Yay me…” As I closed my eyes I felt all the dread that I had been trying to avoid since midday settle onto me all at once, I shivered as I curled up tighter into a ball on the ground. I knew that this time the shivers weren’t from the cold.
I was awoken by a sudden pain that shot through my back, as I uncurled and gasped from the pain I felt two more hard impacts land on my back accompanied by unintelligible but angry sounding words. As I tried to jerk away from the source of my pain I felt the chains hold me back and keep me from moving more than a foot in any direction. There was a sudden loud banging sound and another voice started to talk in a quick and angry tone. I looked up to see three blue shirted men, two who were outside of my cell and glaring at the other man who was grinning down at me with a cruel light in his eyes.
I was terrified, and as one of the men outside my cell sighed and simply opened my cell without even using a key that terror only grew. The just held up his hand to the lock and the door to the cell simply swung open, and when he closed the door behind him I heard the finality of that same lock clicking back into place. As the man entered my cell he pulled something out from behind his back and I could feel myself begin to tremble, he was holding a black choker like collar. He looked at the man and said something that made the other man smile and move towards me with a terrifying expression, I leaned as far away from the man as I could but it did nothing. I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t see whatever was coming.
I felt my head get yanked up sharply by my hair, I also felt something smooth and hard clasp around my neck. I could feel it burning, then rapidly cooling, then finally it settled and I could feel it around my neck. I kept my eyes closed but I knew they had put that collar on me, it was actually fairly comfortable being snug but not tight or restrictive around my neck. I felt tears begin to slip out of my tightly shut eyes and I began to shake my head, the sheer humiliation and horror I felt at being collared like this… it was just so wrong.
“Aww, look at that, the little slave is crying…” Shocked at the words I heard and could suddenly understand perfectly I opened my eyes only to have my vision blur as I felt something heavy and hard crash into the side of my face. “Did that make it better slave? I could always do it again, I just love to help little slaves like you…”
My vision was swimming, and I could taste coppery blood in my mouth. “Lem! Avoid the face! He’ll be worth less if you fuck up his face! Who do you think is gonna get blamed for that when time comes to sell this one!” I could feel things that were hard and sharp washing around in my mouth, I opened my mouth and watched as a wave of red fell out of it and splattered to the ground with the little white pieces that were insde that wave bouncing off the grey stone before settling on top of the red. “Fuck Lem, you knocked out teeth!”
Those are teeth? My teeth? I looked at the blurry pieces of white in the red, I felt confused since I was sure that teeth were supposed to stay in my mouth. “Oh relax Cal, fixing shit like this is the reason we kept the healer bitch right?” The white pieces really were teeth, I could feel the gaps where they were missing with my tongue. I wasn’t trembling anymore I was shaking now, the pain and fear that came over me as I realized what had just happened was deafening.
“Lem’s right, as long as you two don’t kill him we can have the damage healed.” The man outside spoke with indifference, I looked up to see him turn around. “You two have a few hours, I’ll be back for the slave before dawn. Have fun until then…” I watched in horror as the man walked away.
“See Cal, no real harm done!” the man holding my head up by the hair chuckled as he said that, he let go of me and walked towards the other man and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “Besides I know you’ve wanted to beat some quiet into this one for a while, didn’t you say that the slave looked at you funny the other day too?”
“You’re right Lem, and as long as it won’t cost us our jobs…” The man suddenly walked forward and kicked me onto my side. “This.” He kicked me in the stomach so hard it felt like something burst. “Is.” I vomited up something red and brown with his next kick. “For.” I coughed and choked as the kicks kept coming and more red bile sputtered out of my mouth. “All.” I think I may have pissed myself with that impact, but I was in too much pain to really care. “That.” Something cracked inside me as the man’s foot landed against my chest. “Damn.” I couldn’t even curl up anymore, my vision was going black around the edges. “Singing!”
I couldn’t tell anymore if my eyes were shut or if my vison had just gone dark, but I heard panting and what sounded like someone spitting as something wet landed on my cheek. “Damn Cal, you didn’t mess ‘em up too bad for me to get a chance, did you?”
“Dunno, slave’s alive at least. You can do what you want with him now, I’m done…”
I heard a sigh before the man called Cal spoke again. “Yeah, my foot is killing me…”
Very… Hurt… Surrender… Pain… stops… The soft words sounded in my mind, but strangely I knew they weren’t my own. They weren’t even thoughts, more like careful suggestions spoken in my head. Whatever they were however, they were quickly drowned out by pain.
“Well luckily for me, my foot is feeling fine.” The voice of the man called Lem seemed oddly happy as he spoke. I made a noise that sounded a lot less like a groan of pain and much more like a whimper of fear as I heard his steps come circle me. Stop, please just stop… You’ve done enough already…
I felt something crash into the back of my head, and then all my thoughts faded to black.