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A young man, closer to a boy than an adult, wandered down the dark tunnel. His boots scraped against the damp stone floor, echoing slightly throughout the passage. The lantern he was holding did its best to illuminate the cave-like walls, his shadow dancing ominously behind him. He had spent the better part of two hours in these tunnels, the so called Green Zone of the Litigar Dungeon Complex. So far he’d been lucky. With only a few bats and giant rats as his opponents, he was steadily on his way to Level 5!

Just a little more and I can graduate from this ‘newbie area’ and move onto bigger and better things!

He picked up the pace after psyching himself up. The mere thought of leaving this gloomy place and finishing his dull quest was all the motivation he needed right now. Breaking into a light jog, he went deeper and deeper into the winding maze-like cave system.

Left, then right, then right, then left again - wait, or was that a triple right?

The young man named Himmel stopped at a three-way intersection and looked around. It didn’t take him long to realize he had gotten completely lost. He shone his lantern’s light down the left tunnel, then the right one.

Yep. No idea. Oh well, this is why they tell us to carry Portal Keys! I’m sure it will work out!

The small rune-inscribed stone would whisk him away to safety in an instant should the need arise. Although the usefulness of such a thing could not be understated, the complacency and carelessness it taught young adventurers was less than useful.

Continuing down the right-hand path, the young boy noticed a change in his surroundings. The uneven floor suddenly became flat. Although it was still bare rock, it felt like walking on polished marble rather than inside a cave. Peering into the darkness, he noticed something clearly out of place. Something brown and strangely rectangular.

A chest! Lucky!

A simple wooden box with no lock. The dungeon randomly spewed these out, sometimes containing useful items and gear that could be a veritable jackpot for an enterprising young adventurer. Not this one though - the wooden chests in this dungeon offered the lowest grade of loot. Most of them contained bottom-tier potions or maybe moldy bread. The best he could hope to get out of this would be an Iron Ring that provided a negligible bonus to a random stat.

Still, a newbie could not afford to pass up pennies on the ground. The adventurer approached the chest with a small spring in his step. He opened it with both arms and peered at it expectantly. However, what awaited him inside was neither a potion nor a piece of inedible bread. It was something much more impressive than that!

Several sets of dagger-like teeth and a giant red tongue became visible as the monster pretending to be a chest revealed its true nature. The fleshy tongue coiled around the young adventurer’s waist and dragged him into the gaping maw before he could react. He was then unceremoniously eaten in three big bites.

Level up!
Congratulations, you are now a level 2 Mimic! All attributes +2.

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Exterminatus

  • Chestiest Chest That Ever Chested

Bio: I'm a programmer, a mythical creature that survives completely on beer and cynicism. We skulk in the dark, secretly cursing and despising everyone else. Especially other programmers.

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tormanen @tormanen ago

but i just finished reading first two chapters of lip service and i saw the picture and chests and... i aint even mad. 

Darquesse @Darquesse ago

I read the comments, and I still fell for it. I expected it to be trolly, but not in this way. I expected it to be about treasure chests while you make us think it is about boobs, but in reality...... Damn you

You got me, and I am hooked

Killashard
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Sarcze @Sarcze ago

Hah! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I KNEW IT! WHY DID IT SPECIALLY SAY 'CHESTS' INSTEAD OF THE MORE COMMON 'BOOBS' OR THE MORE REFINED WORD 'BREASTS'!? I KNEW IT RIGHT AWAY WHEN I FIRST SAW THE TITLE! And of course.. My speculation is backed up by the 'Trapped' word in most of the reviews. HAH! BEHOLD MY WISDOM! Oh well. I shall binge read this then~ Itadakimasu~!

egofighter @egofighter ago

10/27/2016 4:57:27 PMOninomad Wrote:

Read the title, think "I bet this is about Mimics that'll be awesome"

Read the description, think "I guess not, I guess it is about boobies after all but I give it a shot"

Good job sending me on a mental roller coaster 

 well i was thinking the same......  that is why i hesitated to read. to put up big chest as a title got my mind saying this might be about dungeon chest since putting big chest in title just turn off some readers,,,,, but reading the warning made me think it was about breast after all... making me hesitate to read

Rabidcereal @Rabidcereal ago

Ha. Haha. Ahahahahahahaaa! That's great. You've got my attention with an excellent prologue. Well done.

Mouhon @Mouhon ago

OH GOD MY SIDES!! AHHHaAAAAnhahah

Bravo mate, Bra-vo. You, are a genius.

udin-san @udin-san ago

... that.. right... chest.. what? plot twist!

Cheers for the chapter!

jacobpaige @jacobpaige ago

lol, I was not expecting the mimic to be the MC (asuming that's what happened there) ;)

 

Still, with how careless that guy was being, if the mimic didn't kill him, something else would have in the very near future. Whoever taught him really needs to re-evaluate their methods. Like maybe replacing the "teleport out of danger" item with a "call for help" item. If you actually have to call for help, then shame should play a large role in forcing you to get better. For the shameless people, the beating they'd get from their "rescuer" after the 3rd or 4th time they got "lost" and "had to" call for help, would likely do the job.

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