One bad day, that’s all it took. I threw away the life I knew, all because of one bad day.
Before today my life was fairly normal. I was a college student who was trying my best not to think about the crushing future debt I would have because of my multiple student loans, but more than that I was just some guy. I had always been pretty smart but aside from that nothing was really special about me, in fact I was the run of the mill geeky gamer. I’d rather be in front of a screen than out chugging down drinks at some party, I never did drugs, I didn’t commit crimes, and I hadn’t even gotten laid until a year ago. All things considered I would probably be considered something of a loser before anyone considered me to be some amazing person whose future would involve my doing anything great.
Maybe that was why it took so little for my simple life to go to shit. I woke up today to find out that my account in Elder Gods Online had been hacked, all my equipment had been sold off in real cash transactions, and I had been booted out of my own guild. Now I’m sure for most the fact that someone sold all of their stuff in an MMO wouldn’t be much of a big deal, I wasn’t most people. I spent half the day trying to plead my case to the server GMs and hoping that I could find my way back into my guild even if I couldn’t reclaim my old guild master position. Still, it looked like there wouldn’t be any results anytime soon since apparently the asshole who hacked my character said some pretty nasty things to my guild and somehow got my account both flagged and banned.
Then while trying to resolve that fiasco I found an email notifying me that I was on academic probation for multiple counts of plagiarism among many other infractions to the campus’ student guidelines. Basically the email told me to expect my time at the Windgate University to soon come to a swift end, and that any chance I had at enrolling in another reputable college or university was gone.
While my mind was still trying to process that latest bit of bad news I found a back log of texts on my phone that made my day even worse. Anyone I could call a friend here on campus wrote me variations of the same text, all telling me I was a piece of shit and they didn’t want me near them. And then I saw the very first message of the day that came in before I even woke up, it was three simple words from the very first person I had a serious romantic relationship with: I’m leaving you.
I didn’t even know what to think anymore, and in my daze I noticed that my computer’s camera had been on all day. As I went to turn its recording feature off and shut the computer down I saw what it had been recording since I forgot to turn it off last night when I was using it to skype with some of my guild mates. That one video showed me something that I would’ve never expected, and it sent me even deeper into my growing depression.
It only took one person to send my life crumbling down to Shitsville, my now ex-girlfriend Claudia. In one day she broke up with me, stole from me, lied about me, and got me on an academic probation which looked like it would soon lead to my butt getting kicked off campus. Oh, and she basically ruined what little social life I had too, couldn’t forget about that… I wouldn’t even know about half the things she did if she didn’t have the habit of speaking aloud while she typed or texted, I had even thought that it was a cute habit of hers that I loved before I saw it ruin my life. Through the whole recording I could see myself sleeping peacefully on the bed in the background and blissfully unaware that the girl I had trusted so much was ruining my life instead of sleeping there with me. I almost envied the past me because at least he still thought that everything was fine and that he would be waking up to a loving girlfriend and a normal day.
The worst part of it all was that I didn’t even know why she did it, well I didn’t know until I got on Facebook to check how much damage she had caused there and saw her in a picture with her arms wrapped around some other guy. That picture had been posted two weeks ago, and suddenly things began to click in my mind. All the times Claudia wanted to go out for a “Girls night” or she had to come in for “Work” and blew off a date with me, now I knew what she was actually doing instead…
Now I was sitting on the bed in my dorm looking at the bottle I had filled half with bleach and half with rum as I fiddled with the bottle of sleeping pills in my other hand. I had never really seen the appeal of suicide before, but now I thought I understood. Life sucked, sometimes it just went wrong for the most fucked up reasons imaginable and you couldn’t do anything to stop it from going right down the toilet. I had considered my options and there really wasn’t anything I could do to change things, I had been well and truly backed into a corner by Claudia’s actions. There wasn’t enough in the recording to prove to an impartial authority that Claudia did anything wrong, all it had was her mumbling horrible things about me while she texted on her phone and her getting on a laptop to send in a complaint saying that I had been copying her papers in our shared courses. It would prove nothing to the campus authorities and at most would just extend my probation period as they looked into and interviewed Claudia alongside me. I also had a hunch that after today when the question of who was more likely to cheat was posed to the people we both knew my old friends and hers would all say it was me.
Realistically I knew had no real prospects for my academic future now, and since my parents had passed away I had no safety net to fall back on either. After considering things for a good three hours suicide seemed like the best choice I had available to me. I had even read online that it was supposed to be fairly painless if you did it like this, and since I was kind of a wimp when it came to things like pain I figured the mixed method of drinking bleach and overdosing was the perfect way for me to kill myself.