Dragonfall: Enchantment

by Oddmar

Original Action Adventure Fantasy Magic Male Lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

Sebastian only wanted one thing in life. A nice safe profession that let him stay behind the town's walls. His mother had other ideas, however. She insisted that he follow in his father's footsteps and become the town's greatest hunter, and as such she refused any and all apprenticeships he tried to secure. Sebastian's one solitary hope was that he possessed magic, and would be accepted into the Mage's Guild as a novice. Sometimes life gives you what you wish for, but in a way you never saw coming.

  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Character Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Total Views :
  • 286,749
  • Average Views :
  • 9,250
  • Followers :
  • 1,676
  • Favorites :
  • 228
  • Ratings :
  • 335
  • Pages :
  • 389
Advertisement
Go to Table of Contents
Rate it
Report
Advertisement
Author
Oddmar

Oddmar

Achievements
This user has no achievements to display
Advertisement
Reviews

Leave a review

Dusks_Lantern
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

Revised (26/06/2017): A Splendid Start

*Up to Chapter 14*

After rereading through the old version of the story, and the revised version of this story, I can whole heartedly recommend this story. The story flows smoothly from one chapter to the next, and has characters that are fleshed out and human and a magic system that is unique to the story.  

 

Style:  5 stars

For a style score I will give it a 5.  When reading the chapter, it reads like a proper book, there are no random breaks where the author butts in to break the immersion, or strange phases that wouldn't fit within the time period.   Also, the pacing is great in my own opinion.  In the new version things have slowed down, and more focus has been put on the characters and the way they influence the world, and how the world reacts to them.

 In the last version, things were a bit more jumbled, and plot holes were starting to form towards the end.  But inthe re-write so far, the author has taken their foot off the gas, and has focused more on character development and laying a proper foundation for the world.   

Story:  5 stars

The plotline of this story is moving along nicely.  In the last version, the beginning chapters were at a good pace, but somewhere towards chapter 12ish, things sped up a bit to fast.  However, in the new version, there is a much better pace set for the story. and it feels much more satisfactory to slowly learn alongside the characters, instead of rushing events.

Grammar: 5 stars

I'm not the best with grammar or proper language rules, but there have been not glaring weaknesses with mispelled words, or weird syntax so far.  So 5 stars.    

Character:  5 stars

So far in the new version the characters feel much more fleshed out, atleast some of the side character.  For example, in the old version, we learned very little about the guard, or the people around the village, and what motivates them, or what they do in their spare time. However, in the new version, tradtions and personality have been added to more of the characters.  However, I feel like it can still be improved.  An example that I can think of is Owdel.  Sebastion has been living with him for months, and we still only know a few of his quirks.  I feel that more can be added.  But, with what we have so far its still enjoyable to read about them and see how they interact with the world.

 

Overall this is a fantastic read and I urge others to at least give this story an attempt, and if you do you hopefully wont be dissappointed.

Talen Drake
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

Great Start. Talented Author.

Through the first 9 chapters the story has developed seamlessly.  Readers will find enough characterization to identify with the main character.  The other characters are a bit harder to guage as this story features an introverted main charcter.  I don't think he notices other people or really cares to explore relationships much, and because he is the narator we get an introverts POV.  I'd compare this story with Arcane Emporer in that they both feature characters who just do whatever they think up to do.  They don't really consider consequences, or what others might think.  

So far this is definitely going on my reading list, and getting a recommendation.  Still early days though.  We will see if the author can keep up his rediculous writing pace coupled with nearly perfect grammar.

drizz
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

I'll just sum my review up by saying that this could be posted on Amazon or anywhere else where people actually have standards and still get 5-star ratings.

The story is well paced, nicely thought out and original. The characters, while somewhat cliché-y all have well fleshed out characteristics and personalities, and are consistent in their interactions with the world around them.

I have yet to find a serious grammatical error and the spelling is also pretty flawless. The story and the general plot are well thought out and flow nicely, with the writing style being pleasant and easy to read.

Note that this review is pertaining to the rewrite and is posted as of chapter 14. I also kind of went overboard with my description of the greatness of this story, don't get too arrogant, my lor... author.

gnarlytreeman
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

Excellent and professional

This really is a quality piece of fiction so far.  As of chapter 19 all of the background (enough but not too much) lacked huge infodumps which is how it should be.  The characters are awesome so far.  They also have very human limits which is good, it keeps the story moving.  Very enjoyable mind candy lol.

Jeff091
  • Overall Score

READ IT (the story, not the review)

the story is about an enchanter.

When you read it, you will not find an OP hero with the sole purpous of self gratification, but one who is ballanced, with a comparabel penalty for each perk (my wording, it is [sadly] not a LITRPG)

the characters aren't flat, but have a background and a personality, sometimes it seems as if we see only a fraction of what there is to the character, that they have their own interesting story, somewhere in the past or of screen.

Spoiler: Spoiler

 

honestly i hate giving reviews, they always end up downvoted, I'm just doing this because it is a great story, and to see if it changes the rating.

I rated the story with 5 stars before posting this review.

 

Before posting this review:

the story has 145 ratings, an overall score of 4.675862 and is on place 24 of the active only ranking.

Edit:

the story has 145 ratings, an overall score of 4.675862 and is on place 23 of the active only ranking.

-->yes, the system differentiates between review and rating

duhbigotaku
  • Overall Score

I'm too busy to write a full review right now, but needless to say this is a fantastic story that has the beginnings of an amazing adventure.

rurgah
  • Overall Score

As of chapter 14, I have been entertained.  It is well written with a nice progression of the story and I am looking forward to the continuation.

nussan
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

I just got done with chapter 17 and so far so good

So far the story is well worth the time to read even though the main character have a few flaws.  I will not go into details and ruin the story for you

dosithee
  • Overall Score

 Ah yes, another wish fulfilment fantasy.  Little strugle or chalanges for our mc who quickly becomes quite powerful though borring at the same time....

Potentia, pretty solid writing, but things move too quick and mc doesn't really sweat for his acomplishments so they feel borring.   

Crimsonmerc
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

Orginal premesis~~problem full reiview isnt being posted test ~~

  • This author has alot ahead of him/herself. They are a cut above the rest and it is evident from this story. Now so far this story is good from the orginal premesis especially when you compare to more than a fair few of this sites stories. They've added their own little twist the the generic fantasy world. I like this author and will continue to read their works as long as it keeps coming. This story is good from naration although id say theres a couple oppurtunities to create a new perspective if the author wanted.

The only place I found where the story could be improved is the descriptions. There is a few instances where it shows up and it could show to do more than one to two lines of  description. the five senses arent really evoked. I dont feel my skin crawling at aspects it should be. I cant smell the fires burning . Whats the magic like Is it shiny, moist, damp to the feel? How's the food? I can imagine from steryotypes but its nice to have reminders now and then.

Overall its a great story that I appreciate the author taking their time to do.