Dante's Immortality

by Idlefiber

Original ONGOING Fantasy Romance Tragedy Grimdark Harem LitRPG Magic Male Lead School Life Strong Lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

Dante doesnt know where he came from and is ostracized as a demon because of his appearance.  However he has hope, a gift from the Goddess could be his key to freedom.  Every year any boy or girl who reaches the age of 14 can receive the blessing of the Goddess and the Status.  The Status allows them to freely manipulate the world essence around them and be strengthened through it (yeah, its a status screen). 

Pretty much the rest of the synopsis is the prologue, please read it and tell me what you think.  I tagged some of the elements i plan to implement in the story, so check there.  Also i left gore, profanity, and traumatising content in because i plan on going a little dark at times in the story let me know what you guys think on that.

Im a big reader but this is the first thing that ive written (may suck) go easy on me and give me all the critique you can.

cover is some fanart for devil may cry.  I couldnt track down original creator (just a bunch of repost) but if the author is out there, message me if you want me to take it down or give credit

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Shitty map (not chp) ago
List of names, houses, and places ago
Prologue ago
Chapter 1 ago
Chapter 2 ago
Chapter 3 ago
Chapter 4 ago
Chapter 5 ago
Chapter 6 ago
Chapter 7 ago
Chapter 8 ago
Chapter 9 ago
Chapter 10 ago
Chapter 11 ago
Chapter 12 ago
Chapter 13 ago
Chapter 14 ago
Chapter 15 ago
Chapter 16 ago
Chapter 17 ago
Chapter 18 ago
Chapter 19 ago
Chapter 20 ago
Chapter 21 ago
Chapter 22 ago
Chapter 23 ago
Chapter 24 ago
Chapter 25 ago
Chapter 26 ago
Chapter 27 ago
Chapter 28 ago
Chapter 29 ago
Chapter 30 ago
Chapter 31 ago
Chapter 32 ago
Chapter 33 ago
Chapter 34 ago
Chapter 35 ago
Chapter 36 ago
Chapter 37 ago
Chapter 38 ago
Discord server ago
Chapter 39 ago
Chapter 40 ago
Chapter 41 ago
Chapter 42 ago
Chapter 43 ago
Chapter 44 ago
Chapter 45 ago
Chapter 46 ago
Chapter 47 ago
Chapter 48 ago
Chapter 49 ago
Chapter 50 ago
Chapter 51 ago
Chapter 52 ago
Chapter 53 ago
Chapter 54 ago
Chapter 55 ago
Chapter 56 ago
Chapter 57 ago
Schedule Update ago
Chapter 58 ago
Chapter 59 ago
Chapter 60 ago
Chapter 61 ago
Edit Notes ago
Chapter 62 ago
Chapter 63 ago
Chapter 64 ago
Chapter 65 ago
Chapter 66 ago
Chapter 67 ago
Chapter 68 ago
Chapter 69 ago
Chapter 70 ago
Chapter 71 ago
Chapter 72 ago
Chapter 73 ago
Chapter 74 ago
Chapter 75 ago
Chapter 75.1 ago
Chapter 76 ago
Chapter 77 ago
Chapter 78 ago
Chapter 79 ago
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Chapter 81 ago
Chapter 82 ago
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Chapter 84 ago
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Chapter 86 ago
Chapter 87 ago
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Chapter 89 ago
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Chapter 91 ago
Chapter 92 ago
Chapter 93 ago
Chapter 94 ago
Chapter 95 ago
Chapter 96 ago
Chapter 97 ago
Chapter 98 ago
Chapter 99 ago
Chapter 100 ago
Chapter 101 ago
Chapter 102 ago
Minor Edits ago
Chapter 103 ago
Chapter 104 ago
Chapter 105 ago
Chapter 106 ago
Chapter 107 ago
Chapter 108 ago
Chapter 108 ago
Chapter 109 ago
Chapter 110 ago
Chapter 111 ago
Chapter 112 ago
Chapter 113 ago
Chapter 114 ago
Chapter 115 ago
Chapter 116 ago
Amazon Release ago
Chapter 117 ago
Chapter 118 ago
Chapter 119 ago
Short break ago
Reviews

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EpicDumpster-fire
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Ok i started reading with an hopeful outlook and i trought the story had some potential, the MC lived an hard life and was hungry to be something more, the system looked unusual and somewhat interesting and i wash hopeful the worldbuilding would prove itself to be gripping and detailed.

Sadly i was disappointed:

1)The MC lack a background story and a coherent personality,his personality doesn't match his life experiences. But if you look to some of his decision and rections he may be just that dumb.

Dante often make decision without thinking , the author bend reality in ridicoulous ways to make sense of it,thus hurting the flow of the story.

es: It wasn't my fault the meanie battleglove make me do it Waah Waa Waah Waa.

2) The system had a fuckton of potential; Sadly the author chose four bland and unnimaginative powers for Dante, wasting an amazing opportunity to upgrade the power system from kinda interesting to extraordinary.

3) Honestly the world buildin its meh, another wasted opportunity!

4) The plot...

The academy arc was useless and unrealistic, no one would ever enroll in that draconic place,it would makes no sense. I wanted to bitch and rant regarding the academy but reading some reviews i found the best way to descibe that place: "MEAT GRINDER".

I loved the predatory dungeon,that mini arc was the only part  of the plot i loved. 

The dungeons concept in this story are on point!

I will keep reading it, i honestly couldn't tell you why but i know i will!

King_Frost
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Early stage of a possible great story.

Edited and now at chapter 34.

Still giving an half-star as encouragement.

The story is good. Nothing as a whole new but not bad either. We've seen the usual cliché trope but the author still have some unique elements that are pretty cool.

What I have difficulty is the characters, especially the Mc. We know next to nothing about him. It's like poof, here you go a 14 years old mc. And I'm not just talking about background here but mentality, personality, views and others. Was he orphan from the beginning? Did he have to steal? Any friends? Did he worked for food? Did he have to kill? What about relationships? We start with a mc that we can't just put ourself in it's shoes. From all we know a mc that lived ostracized for all his life would probably not turned out how it is pictured. Way too sane, too confident, too.. good. I think what I wanna say is that without knowing where he came from I just can't see how he got there. And it bothers me. Like a lot.

Also, I couldn't give a crap about 95% of side characters. I don't know if the author wants to do an Mc VS the world type of feeling but it just seems like he is surrounded my enemies. On one hand it makes sense and it is realistic in a harsh world like that, but on the other hand it is just lacking something. A sidekick, a confident, an ally hell even a fucking pet would be good. The only characters that I actually like are Mia and Archie. And one of them disappear after a few chapter.

On a more positive note, I really like the world building. A lot of unique stuff and you feel the strongs eat the weaks vibe. Can't get all flower and unicorns in a world like this which is generally the case with op mc. The author also made a map which, albeit of poor quality, is nice to have.

Also, many things are not covered and explained. Either left for the audience to guess or just that it would be explain later. Can't decide if it is a good point or not. On one hand it add mystery but on the other hand I feel like i lack variable to make assumptions.

The grammar is also pretty good and the story as a whole is well written. A few plot hole(which most  were fixed) but it doesn't really affect the story. Grammar wise I would consider it at the higher tiers of RRL.

All in all I would recommend this story. Nice story and I expect it would only get better.

On a more personal note I saw the Harem tag. Please be careful and don't fuck up your story for a shitty romance with side characters bitches that only acts as cheerleaders and are only there to want his D. Harem is an art and a bad one would just destroyed everything that you built. **(Did this comment for first review at chapter 12 and I have to say that even if I don't like characters at least they are not shallow.)

SPOILER ALERT: Read at your own risk. In a poll of harem girl possible you put Layla and kayla. Just so you know that I hate both of them with passion. I don't understand why Kayla is even there. Oh I'm sure there's a reason and it's more of a personal rant and you should take it with a grain of salt but.. damn I don't like their characters. It's not even that Layla is a control freak bitch or kayla is a manipulative slut but more that they don't make sense. There's a million better ways for Layla to get what she wants but she used these dumb ways. Sure she is young but aaaaarg... whatever.

Keep up the good job Idlefiber, you're doing great!

King out!

NibNob
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Honestly the main thing that put me off of picking up this story was the fact that the MC was named Dante and it used a DMC pic as it's cover.  It's good though, really good.

TheGreatOne
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One of my absolute favorites

This story may have some confusing shifts in POVs and a few stupid character decisions all around, but it makes up for that by everything else(actually, the author or our Lord and Saviour Idlefiber may have fixed these by now, because he listens to the audience way more than any author I've ever seen until now, but I'm too lazy to reread everything again to check lol). The story is actually awesome- it has very few dragging points but the majority of the story is too awesome for me to care about that. The grammer is near perfect as well. If I stop being lazy and reread the first revised 80 or so chapters, I'll probably change this to a five star rating. 

Work towards the perfect rating, Lord and Saviour Idlefiber!(I'm not a heretic plz don't smite me)

OrderedChaos
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If you haven't noticed yet, he is always fighting.

*** Spoiler alert

World Building is fine but a bit vague, I don't know why we havent got a world Infodump for MC so he actually has a motivation to do something. Characters are okay except for the fact that our MC is a void, just a pile of op but not really b/c no mana and he gets dragged around everywhere by the higher powers b/c "potential". MC is more like a slave rather than someone doing things on his own.

Spoiler: Spoiler

 

Also, theres fighting, he is always fighting, the only good writing here is in the fighting. Basically, every character(and society) in the novel is dragged around by the power system. Due to that, the writing feels hamfisted.

johnopedia
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Solid LitRPG and strong world building

This review is as of chapter 8.

I put off reading this story hoping for a few more chapters before digging in. I'm actually glad I changed my mind and started it.  A long chapter a day is a brutal pace for any author, and it would be understandable if there were lots of spelling and grammar mistakes. So far that hasn't been an issue.  The regular updates and the glimpses of what may be coming have me anticipating each new release.

This story is litRPG, so there are things like charater classes, class upgrades, experience (called world essence), gear, dungeons, etc.  In this case all these things seem to have a bit of a twist on the standard that keep it interesting.

There's also the standard orphan, ostracized kid who's destined for greatness trope.  Yes, it's been done before, but so what, stories like this are escapism.  The kid starts out as green and wet behind the ears but learns fast and is boosting his wisdom rapidly, so we'll get to see how that turns out.

All in all, I'm enjoying the story and hoping it continues for a complete story.

Aspartame
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While binge reading this, I chose to disregard the cringy content. Now that I'm up to date and reading them individually, I'm finding the individual character decisions impossible. Who would willingly choose to be INSIDE a meat grinder? If any individual had to choose between instant death and figuring it out on their own, they would figure it out on their own. This academy arc is bull, and should, by all rights, be a ghost town. No one would go to this academy. No one would be capable of surviving this academy. No one would invest in people just to kill them. Not even the Romans were this stupid. It's bad math. It could only exist as a microcosm being forcibly supported by much much larger organizations. Organizations significantly larger than the Roman Empire. Organizations of those sizes don't exist in this book, and they are too far apart if they do.

Beyogi
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Nice LITRPG but too much fanservice

Honestly when I started reading this story I was positively surprised. A well written LITRPG with interesting worldbuilding. Stats apparently a blessing from the goddess. The protagonist a loner effectively driven out of his village to seek a better life. I should have known better, I should have read the tags. Though the skill selection could have been warning enough.

4 classes that basically spell one thing. Edgelord. The protagonist also gets a blood drinking battleglove... which becomes more relevant later on.

Anyway, basically the further this story continues three things become pretty obvious. First, the LITRPG system is very well done. Second, the author is using grim-darkness to cover shallow world building. Third, he's doing too much RR fanservice. Aka needless gore and "hard" decisions.

To eleborate. The LITRPG system doesn't allow instant empowerement. You get only one skill per class and stats boost are somewhat moderate. The MC is a major cheater in that regard by having four classes instead of the usual one, but compared to the usual LITRPG protagonists he doesn't easily outclass everyone. He actually needs to munchkin his skills instead of getting a new one for each possible problem.

As for the grim darkness, we've got a nobility with chronic backstabbing syndrome and young master disorder. We've got an ominious force of evil called Wraith that will probably come up later, but have a convenient enslavement device.

As for the fanservice, less wanton slaughter would be better imho. While it seems a bit of a trend on RR to cry for spilled guts it sometimes feels like he's a character in a hack-and-slash RPG instead of something remotely realistic. The plot armour is strong with this one. Sometimes non-violent solutions can also be interesting and make the protagonist feel like more than a murder-blender-bot.

To cut it short, if you're here to see a protagonist murder their way through endless hordes of mooks and some bosses while actually taking their time to level up this will be your thing. If you get hard from protagonists making "hard" (aka easy) choices I can recommend this. If you like protagonists executing people even more evil than they are this is for you. If you want to see how to set up a LITPRG without it immediately suffering Dragon Ball Z syndrome, I'd also recommend having a look at this.

Overall not a horrible story, decently written but imho too focussed on serving the RR readers bloodthirsty desires.

Elins
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Entertaining with some weaknesses

Edited again at chapter 116: stars are for the author showing vast imrovement over the course of the story. Most of the negative parts in this review happen in the first 50 chapters.

Story: We follow Dante, an abandoned orphan, excluded by society. After recieving his blessings and thus his status/classification, he ventures out into the world.
The "cheat" is done nicely and should be balanced throughout the story, though he does get a bit OP around 102. Spoiler: The Cheat 

 Progression of the story can be a bit bumpy, but it's good to read and the author gets better as the story goes on. The edit that the author did, was good for the overall flow, but some weak plotpoints stayed.

About dropped storylines: There are several storylines that get "teased" and are not followed up on. Like the author didn't know if he wanted to move the story in that direction, but at some point it might come in handy. I was actually pleasantly surprised, that not all of these storylines are dropped, so there is hope. You just need a lot of patience and maybe a look at the "List of names, houses and places". 

Spoiler: Teased Storylines 

 About Dante: While still being a bit spongy and hard to grasp, he does make for an okay character and there has been some development already. I guess the first real impression about his inner life (for me) comes after the Wasteland chapters with Melisandre (ch 70+ somewhere I think?). Maybe the edit did some good here too, but I didn't reread the whole story.
One main weak point is motivation, I think. There are tons of things that could be used, from the story or just his circumstances, but it doesn't feel like he has a goal or a plan (except very short time plans, that are motivated by other people telling/asking him to do that now).

Spoiler: Possible but unused character motivation 

 Side characters are not done too badly, but tbh I didn't feel anything for the side characters, until after the Chaos Region ark started, mostly just disappointment at the lost potential. The author then gets better at writing them with a personality, more reasonable in their actions and more likable as well.
A weakness is definitely that Dante changes locations often and none of the side characters stay at his side for very long, thus losing the chance to build a relationship with the reader. That is also improved in the later story. 

Spoiler: Examples 

 It's not up to the point that it's very bothering, overall it does fit together. Does not make for a bad story, but certainly dampens the reading fun.

In a nutshell: This is a fun to read and it has potential, a new region can bring a whole lot of new adventure every time the MC advances. Also the author is clearly putting a lot of work in it, rewrites chapters where he feels are potential plotholes, changes things to make them more plausible and cares for the opinions of his readers. 
But there are some dropped storylines or storylines that don't add anything. Also don't expect too much from the characters.

MrMnds
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The hell man, you create such a good start to bring that school crap. I know some people love to read about schools but it's rude to get rid of a character with a serie of unjustified bad decisions.

Long story short: MC receives powers - flees - goes to school to have no friends - tries to power up - f**ks everything in one go because two people he barely knew got killed... Are you insulting your readers' intelligence?