Second Wind, legend of Pandemonium

by Seventus Almagar

Original Adventure Fantasy LitRPG Magic Reincarnation Secret Identity Virtual Reality
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

The developers of the worlds leading VRMMORPG Edge Online have decided to shut down its servers after over a decade. Shugireth Darkstar, the leader of Pandemonium, Edge Online's top guild, suffers from a deadly disease and his end is near. He hasn't left his VR pod for 5 years, as the medical nanodroids at the hospital takes care of him. 

Without Edge, he will die, because his physical body has already been all but destroyed by the sickness.

Seeing no light at the end of the tunnel, Shugireth Darkstar, the Master of Pandemonium, stubbornly stays behind as the servers shut down...

 

If that was all, we could end this story right here. However, that was only the beginning of the legend of pandemonium. The prelude to the movement, if you will.

Shall we see what happens next?

 

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Some notes from Me (The author, gasp surprise):

I first wrote this (100k) as an experiment. I saw the advice about having foils for overpowered MCs, and I watched quite a few lectures on writing. I wanted to test things out for myself and see if I could carry a story through other ways than only relying on physical conflict like some thrillers do. Thus this might lean a bit towards slice of life with a romance subplot, but I don't want to give my story away so read it if u want to know more. This was basically never intended for anyone else's eyes but my own, and written to explore writing as a process. This wasn't my attempt at writing a good book, but it turned into something that I think might interest some people, so I decided to pop it up here.

It is slightly old so my style and writing skills have advanced considerably since I first started this thing. Having said that, I think it's pretty readable, but I am very interested in how other people will receive this. Please feel free to criticize it and just in general shoot me some feedback on what you think. 

 

It contains light Litrpg elements, not heavy table spam, it's just the basis of the world. Although I like that sort of thing, this was written before I even knew of Royalroad and hadn't considered litrpg much. Some of you may recognize that it was slightly inspired by Overlord.

Also, the Tags for sexual content and traumatizing content are there as a precaution on all of my stories pretty much, even if my story does not contain any of that at the moment. I can't really know what the future will bring, but in the case of this story I do know a little bit, since I wrote 100k words before posting it here. And I just posted it on a whim because I figured some readers on Royalroad might enjoy this story.

 

 

 

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  • Total Views :
  • 35,367
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  • 1,263
  • Followers :
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  • Ratings :
  • 62
  • Pages :
  • 358
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Seventus Almagar

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Root Greevil
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
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Definitely worth checking out

I bringe read this almost immediately after the authors original stash of 27 chapters were posted. I definitelly recommend checking it out if the synopsis and tags sound interesting. If you like this genre you will most likely like this. 

Style: I found the style enjoyable. There isn't anything super amazing about how the story is written, but I think that the writing style is an overall net positive. There are many stories I read where certain scenes or interactions cause me to cringe, and I didn't come accross anything like that while reading this story. 

Story: The story is not super spectacular, but fine for what the genre is. There isn't that much of an aim currently, but if the author continues the story it should become more and more fleshed out. You wouldn't read this for the plot but I don't think it detracts.

Grammar: I found the grammar very good for RRL standards. There were a few typos here and there and some formatting issues from the chapters being uploaded, but nothing stood out to me and broke my immersion while I was reading. The story is very readable, unlike some other stories posted on the site. 

Characters: I found the characters enjoyable to read. They aren't anything super spectacular, but I think they are well presented and well rounded for the most part. The non MC characters not not just cardboard cutouts and there seems to be some genuine history to the world the author has created. I would say the characters are a definite plus to the story. 

Overall, I found this very enjoyable to read. It isn't some super amazing masterpiece, but it doesn't try to be, and that's okay. It does a good job with what type of story it is, and since I like the genre I liked the story. I genuinely hope the author continues writing as I will be eagerly awaiting more updates. 

Karakazz
  • Overall Score

I want more.  After 6  chapters I'm already in love with it

Shakeel
  • Overall Score

It's not really a VR story

It's great. This is great. It's start is like Overlord but cooler. Don't let the VR tag fool you. It's as much VR as overlord is. It's more epic fantasy reincarnation with a not stupid and dense MC. 

Dryeder
  • Overall Score

If you like a story where the author has a foot fetish then this is for you!

ivoSF
  • Overall Score

nice lite-rpg done different then many(better)

i also binge read al the current chapters out(27) and i must say i enjoy it very much, has a nice balance of rpg elements, slice of life and some mysteries

 

no complicated character sheets and despite being relative simple, it flows nicely.

what i noticed, most things get adressed rather direct and solved/moved on pretty quick, in my opinion this is refreshing compared to many overly convulted stories.