Number One Under Heaven

by BaiSiwa

Original HIATUS Adventure Comedy Fantasy Romance Harem Magic Male Lead Martial Arts Reincarnation Secret Identity Strong Lead Wuxia
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

Born with a golden spoon in his mouth, Tian Yi is a young man with a status above all and below none.

However, that status came with a price— his freedom.

Tired of being confined in his home for his entire life, Tian Yi decided to leave for the outside world.

This is a story of an innocent young man who is perfect in every way with only one deficiency— his lack of common sense.

 

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BaiSiwa

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Prologue ago
Chapter 1 - First Encounter ago
Chapter 2 - Freedom ago
Chapter 3 - City of Immortals ago
Chapter 4 - Crimson Dagger ago
Chapter 5 - Invitation ago
Chapter 6 - Entrance Exam ago
Chapter 7 - Spirit Veins ago
Chapter 8 - True Spirit Qi Absorption Rate ago
Chapter 9 - End of Entrance Exam ago
Chapter 10 - Guest Elder ago
Chapter 11 - Becoming an Outer Court Disciple ago
Chapter 12 - Mortal and Immortal Cultivators ago
Chapter 13 - Library of Cultivation Techniques ago
Chapter 14 - Nine Formations Temple ago
Chapter 15 - Unique Junior-Apprentice Brother ago
Chapter 16 - True Path to Heaven ago
Chapter 17 - Earthquake in the Immortal Realm ago
Chapter 18 - Heaven’s Tribulation ago
Chapter 19 - Secret Between the Two ago
Chapter 20 - Replacement ago
Chapter 21 - Panicking Disciples ago
Chapter 22 - Grandmaster of Formations ago
Chapter 23 - Heaven’s Jealousy ago
Chapter 24 - Heaven’s Wrath ago
Chapter 25 - Mission ago
Chapter 26 - Doubt ago
Chapter 27 - Ancient Land Disciples ago
Chapter 28 - Smooth Kid ago
Chapter 29 - Way of Judgement ago
Chapter 30 - Illogical Beasts ago
Chapter 31 - Seven Seasons Rose ago
Chapter 32 - Behind the Scenes ago
Chapter 33 ago
Chapter 34 ago
Chapter 35 ago
Release Schedule ago
Reviews

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konoSekai
  • Overall Score

I'll preface this by saying:

You should write what you want. Ignore the trolls. Forcing yourself to write something you don't want to write would create a bad story, so do as you will; I at least will applaud you for it. 

Still, I do hope that you can regain your charm of your first novel. You may notice this is a new Royalroadl account, which it is. I created this just to post my critique in the hopes of maybe changing your viewpoint. Your first version was one of the few novels I actually followed. Most of the other 50 or so novels I read, I can just wait 20-30 chapters and splurge, but I would read each chapter of yours when it came out. This novel, however, feels like I will regulate to the others, which is fine, since it means it's not bad, but to me it's a terrible, terrible shame because of what it could have been.

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I'll go into stylistic things later, but first, I want to explain the "feel" differences between the two stories. I like to think of this as the "glue" that holds the story together - "what is the story about?" "how does the story play out?" both fit into this part.  I thought about it for a bit, and I believe the key differences between the two stories can be explained by these two nuances:

Ver 1: A noble and ignorant youth wandering the world who happens to be overpowered.
Ver 2: An overpowered protagonist going on an adventure who happens to show off he's overpowered.

To you, you mentioned how you didn't have a clear goal in the first story. You had an idea of how you wanted him to act (noble ignorant youth who happens to be overpowered), but you didn't know what/where and just came up with it as you went on. In fact, this flowed into the story, and to me, this was the real charm to the story. We didn't have a Chu Feng (MGA) seeking power to avenge family. We didn't have a Li Qiye (Emperor's domination) roaming the world in a plot intense, intertwining story. There was no overarching goal besides just having Tian Yi encounter situations and act his noble and ignorant self. 

In contrast, for this version, there is a goal. It feels like you need to show he's overpowered, rather than happens to. I'll show an example(s) a bit below but you can skip to that if you want more clarity. As a result or maybe of your own choice, Tian Yi has... lost his distinct character to put it lightly, or to put it bluntly, become bipolar. At times, he's a noble gentleman saving the damsel, mischevious brat, an ingorant fool retard, and at times an arrogant show-off. You focus on the goals rather than the characters, and the characters suffer.

An extended example to highlight the two nuances:

Spoiler: Spoiler

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For stylistic, I agree that with some other readers that it feels like you are rushing things a bit. In the old version, you would spend whole chapters building up a character. In fact, as I mentioned above, the key "glue" in your Version 1 is that the characters have a distinct character (distinct being they have a stable character, not necessarily they are different from one another, although they mostly were, except for the villains, but it's fine). You craft each event with the characters in mind. In contrast, I feel you focus on the goal too much in this story, hence the characters don't develop well too much. In the first story, Lao Bai was an ancient tsundere tiger who starts off savage and then becomes a watchful guardian grandpa (and then gets thrown to the garbage for 40 chapters but that's ok). In this version, he sorta becomes... sherlock's watson but more retarded. His whole purpose seems to be to highlight Tian Yi's awesomeness rather than display a character. As of Chapter 9, Jia Daiyu also doesn't seem to have a character besides becoming a film to display Tian Yi's awesomeness. Looking at the end when she exclaims, I'm guessing in chapter 10, you'll juxtopose her position of "sect master" vs. her awe to lift up Tian Yi, which is fine, but this is sorta like how a lot of chinese novels say things like "white faced, smooth skin beauty" for every female harem member.

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Well, I'll end my spiel there, but again, you should what you want. Quite frankly, after you finishing writing out all your plot "goals," I believe it'll probably develop revert back to the old style a bit. However, I worry the charm I saw in the first version would completely disappear by then. Well regardless of what you do, thanks for your work. I'll still stay on as a reader albeit maybe a bit less devoted one haha.

 

Crown
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For any new readers that aren't just flooding in here from the fandom around his original version, welcome to the amazingness that awaits. (So good I had to make up a word)

Everything he writes turns to gold so you can expect the same for this novel. Obviously I will adjust my review on the extreamly far off chance that it's not the most amazing thing on RRL. (Blasphomy!)

I just feel the need to give this a rating so that he can start getting people in here and reading. Without a doubt this will be at the top of the most popular list in no time at all so lets just get the five star review out of the way so that I can feel I've done my part to support BaiSiwa for the hours of entertainment I've enjoyed and with hope many more to come.

 

Quit reading this and start the story already.

kaneki_kun21123
  • Overall Score

I think the interactions are quite rushed even the way he do his things . It's pity really this is one of the xianxia novels in this site that I really like unfortunately the quality degraded, well this is your novel so I still support you I really wish you can improve it . Good luck. I'll change my review if there's an improvement.

ReanSchwarzer
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If this remake is as good as the original then in my opinion it will be one of the best novels on this website, love the story and the characters, the only thing I wished was different about the old version was slightly more time spent in the other realms before going to the mortal realm. Judging from the update of the author, it seems this matter will be changed in the re-work, really looking forward towards this story.

HaremAddict1
  • Overall Score

If its not broke do not Fix it!!

I was totally addicted to original version. I am not enjoying this version as much. The original was a great blend of action, comedy, and even a bit of drama (Touching scene when girl fails entrance exam had a bit of dirt in my eye). This version is very bland. I am very sad.

theworld
  • Overall Score

Love the original I died a little inside when I thought he quit writing permanently luckily he's back I have great expectations

ArloD
  • Overall Score

So Disappointing.....

Epic Fail

The Old Version is what hooked me to reading your story not this......

Well good luck with this I was a fan of the past book.....

GalacticTNT
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He is back and better than ever. With a new way to start the same story I don't know where it will end up but it will most definitely be as good or better than the first version.

Grammer is good so far and characters are the same as well.

It is going a bit faster than before, but with a new version that is almost but expected. 

Heres hoping this story thrives once again as it should.

DDclash
  • Overall Score

I can't say that it is bad. I just can't find some really good moments, so I am a little sad. I would have liked continuation of the first one. But well, beggars can't be choosers, can they?

elq
  • Overall Score

Looking forward to more

As a fan of the first iteration of this story, I can understand why people might be unhappy with a change... But after reading the first nine chapters I feel that while this version is different in details, it has the same "soul" as the original and very much look forward to how it will grow. 

Thanks BaiSawa!