Doomed Dungeon

by Cass262

Original ONGOING Action LitRPG Magic Male Lead Martial Arts Non-Human lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

The SUMMARY

Bastill is kidnapped and sacrificed. He is turned into a dungeon by his captors and they plan to return in five years time to collect the mature dungen core. He has to start back at level 1, while he captor is over level 50 ranked at S, she will also be bringing back others from her group when the collect the core. Can Bastille build his dungeon into a fortress, amass an army, and level up in time to protect his score?

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Summary of the Summary

Bastill...  Dungeon Core... CAN HE?

(Pending Aproval)

If you think you have a better Summary for the Story, Private Message ME. I will leave your Username at the bottom to give you credit.

Also My Cover Sucks -_-

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Started on {5/15/2018}

Feel free to crtitique the writing. Its in a rough Draft right now. If I get decent enough feedback I may continue on writing it. 

  • Overall Score
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  • Followers :
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  • Ratings :
  • 24
  • Pages :
  • 114
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Cass262

Cass262

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Reviews

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sdeligar
  • Overall Score

Good start needs editor.

Off to a good start and I'm looking forward to more. However the author needs to spend more time checking his work and possible get the help of an editor to fix some annoying mistakes.

Delectablebooklover8
  • Overall Score

LOVE THIS BOOK!!! ^~^ ^~^ ^~^

Ok, so I Did just binge read your story AND I'm already in a good mood from Before I started reading but still!!! I LOVE this book!!! 

Ok, I'm a rambler so I'll try to keep this short.

Good start to your story. Interesting play on the, current, end villain. Not the first but still not bad at all. ^~^ Conscientious MC. Possible growth potential= both interesting and high on the future prospects. Nice play on randomly casual info drops. Please continue ^~^. Interesting concept for a litrpg spin for a dungeon. Please continue. ^~^ Would like to see more of this world. The Growth of this dungeon. How he handles ALL of the fun coming his way until he meets the roaming end boss and beyond lol. Who will he meet. What will he do. Etc. ECT. Ect. ^~^. And please continue to listen to us readers with a grain of salt. I'm not perfect and I don't expect my authors to be either. Whatever you changed because of the feedback you were given Did make a better impact for me as a reader. ^~^ You can't just toss a baby dungeon out into the world/wolves without at Least it's swaddling clothes on!!! YEESH! Lol. But in all seriousness. Congrats! You now have a stalker (read loyal fan) who will read all of your work for this, and Maaaybe, other works in the future. Depending on what you do lol. I tend to be a quiet stalker, when I'm not rambling on, so just know... Your works Will be read and they Will be enjoyed with Complete and Utter disregard for my sleep or any other situational awarenesses. I tend to do this for ALL of my favorite stories ^~^. I'm an addict and I Know it! To books, not drugs... I always have this Insatiable HUNGER for a good book, but they're often so randomly updated that I don't know when I'll get my next fix, when I'll find a new drug (read story) to stalk/follow, or if it will die on me in the future... Please don't stop writing... I Love my addiction and want to keep our well fed lol. Oh, and it's mostly for dungeon books right now so you Really lucked out lol. Ok. I'Il stop rambling now... 

*starts randomly checking pg for new updates*

gndddd
  • Overall Score

vale a pena  acompanhar w   seguir

quero  mais   capitulos

MaxOsnes
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

A Dungeon Novel with Great Potential

Review as of Chapter 10.

Style: Amazing. Even with the need for an editor, I kept wanting to read more. The words were sucked into my brain, and there was never a time I felt that flow ever stopped.

Story: Even though it is early, the story has a set goal, and has added a few unique twists to it. I'm thoroughly liking the story, but I am worried about how recent developments will turn out. However, I do have trust that the author will continue to write a good story.

Grammar: The most notable thing is mispelled words in the early chapters. Thankfully these words have the same sounds, so the flow isn't interrupted. The author has gotten better in later chapters.

Character: There hasn't been a lot of time to develop characters yet, but I'm enjoying the main character and there's nothing to detracting from the other characters. Exception: Story Spoilers Ahead. You have been warned.

Spoiler: Spoiler

 Additional Thoughts: 

Spoiler: Spoiler