Longbean was introduced to the BOTs back at the castle. At first everyone was apprehensive because the group was already becoming quite large. And whether he could fit in was another story. However, all those concerns were flung out of the window immediately with no fucks given the moment Longbean used his fuckface.

Longbean apart from his profession, was a level 50 Wizard. Wizards were a bit different from Elementalists or archmages. Elementalists used their mana to specialise in offensive or defensive attacks of a certain element. Archmages usually specialised in just one and they learnt devastating spells only from that one discipline. Wizards can learn elemental mana but they usuall stick with neutral ones to cast their spells. Their spells were not direct offensive spells but a balance between defensive and offensive with indirect forms.

Examples would be casting levitate on himself and party members to render them more immune to attacks from the ground. Wizards could also use teleport which most mages would be unable to except for those who specialised in electricity. They could also use telekenesis which is something even I could not do because it was neutral mana and you needed to use runes for it.

After his introduction, for the rest of the night, during dinner, everyone was trying to create their own original fuck face. It was an interesting and useful skill to have! Do you ever encounter situations where people ask stupid questions begging for a captain obvious reply? Something like.. “Are you at home?” When they've called your house phone and you picked up?

You would be tempted to reply “No, I'm in outer space trying to catch floating krabby patties before delivering them to bikini bottom.” or some sarcastic reply. Instead of even thinking about a funny or sarcastic comment, all you have to do was use your fuckface! Easy, simple and guaranteed to stun them into silence or shock them into laughter. Sure it looks like you're having a stroke and both you and the person laughing would be subjected to bad karma but apart from that it was a very interesting skill to have.

-Three days later-

Breadtalk finally managed to log into the game and went straight towards the castle.

I was in the castle, practicing my almost completed fuckface while mana sculpting when Breadtalk walked in on me.

“Jinx? What the bloody hell is wrong with your face? Were you masturbating?? To a fucking statue??!” He asked.

“No you just walked in at a bad time. Why're you looking for me?” I replied, massaging my face.

“It's something private that I have to ask you.”

Ohhhh boy. The last time Breadtalk came to me privately to ask about something, it was.. To ask me how to masturbate. You see Breadtalk is a complete idiot. He does not have any inhibitions stopping him from being stupid especially towards his friends. Sensing another question about the same level as that previous one because he came to me privately for advice.. I asked him what was going on in a very apprehensive tone.

“It's about Horse. She confessed to me.”

My jaw dropped. I was too shocked to even use the fuckface I have prepared to troll him with. Sure he was the one closest to Horse because he just kept trolling her but to think she liked him? And she confessed?? Sure it was the 21st century but its still quite a common practice for a girl to hold out until the guy she likes confesses to her instead you know! Wait hold that thought. It was Breadtalk. A confession would never come out from his mouth.

“Okay... Where and how did this even happen?” I asked. It might be just Breadtalk misinterpreting the situation anyway.

“Yesterday I died after getting my head up her skirt right. So I had nothing to do. It was a weekend and I was bored so I went to the mall to get some stuff for school and my leisure. Surprisingly, when I went to the mall, I met Horse. She was at the mall to eat lunch by herself because her family was out. She accompanied me to get my stuff and we ate together. She told me she was dead too because apparently someone killed her but she didn't know how.”

Thank god for the instant kill. 200 thousand mana well spent.

“So she was also unable to log in to the server for the next 24 hours. We decided to catch a movie together to kill time. It was a horror movie and the best seats were couple seats so we just took them anyway. I wanted to scare her so when the movie was playing, I grabbed her shoulder when I heard scary noises and she immediately jumped into my arms.”

“Okay okay. Sounds plausible so far. Carry on.”

I'm pretty sure he left out additional things that happened along the way since he loves trolling her so much but oh well.

“Then, she was just clinging onto me for that hour and a half. After the movie was over, she told me it was her first time watching a horror movie because she hated it and when I asked why she agreed to watch it with me she said it was because she liked me.”

HOLYSHIT THAT GIRL GOT MORE BALLS THAN ME. HOW MUCH MORE STRAIGHTFORWARD CAN YOU BE?!

“Well... She's definitely proud and strong alright in everything she does.” I said while trying to keep a straight face because I was secretly impressed and also amused at Breadtalk's face.

It was a rare sight to see him this flustered. It wasn't because he liked her too I was sure of that. Breadtalk liked a few girls before and he would always act the same in front of them. Stupidly and wonderfully retardedly. Always. But the moment they established some sort of connection, he would go to the side and secretly jump for joy or just stone with a smile so big you could swear that it joined both his ears together. However, when he was flustered, it meant one thing. He honestly doesn't want something to happen. And trust me he doesn't do this often.

Savouring the moment and trying not to laugh, I asked him if he liked her.

“Are you kidding me?! That woman can run a Nazi prison by herself I wouldn't wanna date someone like that!” Breadtalk said.

“A bit of an exaggeration but yes I believe she could if she tried. However, why did you keep associating yourself with her if you didn't like her in that way?”

“I was trolling her. All i ever did was enjoy slapping wars with her, test my weapons on her and occasionally stick my head under her skirt so I'll get punished but that's it!”

HAHAHA typical Breadtalk. I have to salute him though. Getting someone like Horse to like you was an achievement in itself. I'm pretty sure there were guys in school who would chase her for her looks and body but she seemed like the sort who would just smash their hopes into the ground and grind it with the heel of her feet. But to get her to like you not by chasing her but TROLLING her. That, is some high level shit right there.

“Erm.. Just tell her that you don't like her that way?” I told him.

“But... I don't have the balls to...” He replied.

That was it. I couldn't blame Breadtalk for this at all. He had zero sense when it came to girls. Zero. Negative even. He wouldn't be able to flirt for nuts because all he can do and will do is be himself. Trolling people is his nature and who could blame him for that when he was so funny and good at it. I pitied Horse though. The poor girl just fell in love with his unsual charms and wits and I guess it was pretty legit. I mean if you like the guy and he nonchalantly sticks his head under your skirt due to acceptable reasons, even though you killed him already it must've entertained you at least a slight bit. I decided to show Horse some pity and give her what she deserves.

I used mana manipulation to put two balls of fire into Breadtalk's pants just where his scrotum is.

“HOTTTT! HOTTTTTTT! WHAT THE FUCK?!” He screamed, running around in circles. I don't know why but I'm pretty sure 'stop drop and roll' was the standard procedure, not 'run chase your tail.'

“If you don't want a burnt black penis, I suggest you go find her immediately since she just logged in and tell her that you don't like her personally. Don't drag this out she should like direct answers. Besides I doubt you would want to drag this out with your balls on fire.” I told him. Then I added my fuck face. TEEHEE.

And he dashed out of the room screaming for Horse, slamming the door shut behind him.

There was only so much I could do but I really think this was the best way to solve it. I looked around at my room in the castle. Over the past few days, I've been trying to increase my mana sculpting skill to try to improve the passive skill Manart to enable me to deal more damage. I have sculpted in precise details a few of my favourite figurines. Beside my bed on the table top, there was Chopper from One Piece. On the floor in the four corners were my four favourite characters of all time. Soup was in the top left, Beathoven was top right, Breadtalk was bottom left and I had a space for bottom right. I didn't know who else to sculpt. They were all fine pieces and my passive did improve so I did this to train myself while running Carnival like I was supposed to. I tried to think of someone to craft for the bottom right corner of my room.

Suddenly, thundering footsteps sounded along the corridor and my room door burst open. Breadtalk was there, panting and panting.

If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

“Jinx I told her already. Please. Fire. Stop. STOP THE FIREEEEE!” he shouted while lifting out his pants, blowing with his mouth as hard as he can onto the affected area.

“That looks so wrong I can't even.” I said.

I stopped the spell and Breadtalk looks as if he just managed to relieve his bladder after someone tied his penis up for twenty four hours while forcing him to drink 3 litres of water.

He slowly walked back out of the room to carry on with his errands and suddenly, I heard another set of footsteps this time stomping towards my door and flinging the room door wide upon when she reached the doorstep.

It was Horse.

She was crying.

Help I'm not good at these sort of situations I'm hopeless at this it's like when the girl is asking you if she's fat or not. It's an impossible task to surmount SOMEONE FUCKING HELP!

“Jinx... WHY DID YOU FORCE BREADTALK TO DO THAT TO ME WHYYYYYYYYY?!” She lashed out at me with her hands, hitting whichever part of my body she could find contact with using her full weight behind her blows.

“Ow Ow OWWW! Why would he even tell you it was me! AHH FUCK STOP IT!” I shouted and I grasped her hands tightly, deciding that I didn't deserve this.

“Look. I know you like Breadtalk. You should also be able to understand someone like him since you like him. He was close to you. No doubt about that. He kept joking around with you, playing the fool around you. Around everyone actually. And you enjoyed that. You liked who he was. He was funny, retarded, stupid, retarded, jovial, retarded, well mostly retarded but you liked it. So now just because usually you get chased and guys clearly want you, when someone you want doesn't want you this is what you do? You come crying to someone who isn't even involved and just asked him to tell you the truth to beat him up? I thought you were someone cool and proud. It sure as hell seems that I was wrong.” I said.

Oh crap. I don't think when I talk. Holy shit. Oh fuck. That was my truthful sentiments but the poor girl just got rejected. Ohhhh boy. I'm gonna get so much negative karma a lightning bolt should be striking me right about no-

“OOOOFFFFFFFFFFF.” I said as Horse kneed me squarely in the balls. Even though it was virtual reality, the weak points of the males were not altered. That lingering pain that feels like you've something emitting pain from your bladder for the next 10 minutes. That familiar pain all guys would have gone through before was still exactly the same.

Don't mess with karma...

“INSENSITIVE ASSHOLE! I'M BETTER THAN THIS!” She sniffed as she stormed out of my room, still crying.

I thought I was playing the good guy. But it looks like I still really couldn't deal with girls.

I rolled around on my bed for about 15 minutes until the pain dispersed properly. I looked back at all of our adventures and even though I liked the BOTs alot. Horse did her fair share of work. During Carnival Wars, running the atmosphere of Carnival, going through the tough training with us, helping us in school by being the ambassador of our BOTs since all of us were too weak willed to do it. I decided to get down to work. Soon enough there was a Horse as well in the bottom right corner of my room.

Apart from mana sculpting, I also started reading the book Jörmungandr left with me. It consisted of really high level spells and utility spells and I was determined to master each and every one of them. I had the mana to do most of them on a small scale but some of the spells were just impossible on a big scale.

One such example was Aeroglyph.

It was a spell with a very peculiar ability. Anyone who steps on an area covered by this spell would be pushed forwards in the direction the glyph was created for. For example, I could make one square tile an aeroglyph and anyone who steps on it will instantly be flung towards the front, right, left, backwards or even upwards. Imagine if I were to use this spell against an army. I could make one whole football field an aeroglyph and fling them all in a direction where I set up traps beforehand. It was easy to cast with low mana cost but it needed high purity for the affects to be really obvious if not it was just a negligible gust of wind at the feet which will shift them slightly towards the direction. High density made the victim fly literally 4-5 meters in that direction.

There were many utility spells and damage spells in them but I needed time to slowly master them. On average it took me about one week to master one spell fully and it seemed like there were at least fifty spells to master in this book so it would take about one year. And by mastering the spell I meant knowing how to use it and when to use it. The mastery level would be at about intermediate. Not advanced or master.

There really was no shortcut to these sort of things so I just had to stick with it I guess.

I went down for dinner after practicing Aeroglyph for a few hours and I was scared if Breadtalk and Horse had any leftover tension because of what happened and it would be bad if the BOTs would be unable to maintain teamwork and rapport with one another. We had the title as Carnival War Champions and I plan to defend that till the very end.

As I went down to the table, I realised Breadtalk and Horse were sitting beside each other. They were not talking though. I wondered if things were awkward when suddenly, Breadtalk tapped Horse on the shoulder and gave her a fuckface as soon as she turned. She just punched him squarely in the face before turning to her plate and continued to eat her food as if nothing happened. It had only been a few hours and Breadtalk could already do a good fuck face. I guess that guy was just talented in anything that was funny and pure horrible at anything that wasn't. Horse was not smiling though when she was eating her dinner. Guess punching the guy who rejected her while his face was as if he had stroke felt good and could help her forget him faster but it wasn't enough... Strong woman though for still being able to sit beside the guy who rejected her a few hours ago.

So I consumed dinner with everyone, prepared dessert and then Soup and Beathoven came to help me in the kitchen.

“Hey guys you know what happened between Breadtalk and Horse?” I asked.

“What???” They replied.

Breadtalk only told me??? Awwww. So sweet of him. To come to me first.

“Well rumour has it that Breadtalk likes Horse!!! Can you believe it?” I said, stirring up what came to be what would haunt Breadtalk for the next few years of his life both in game and out.

These two faggots will make fun of Breadtalk for the rest of his life regarding this and I hope this makes you feel better you stupid Horse.

“NO SHIT!” Soup said.

“Meh. I'm not surprised. But I'm still going to make fun of him for it though.” Beathoven added.

And they immediately rushed back into the dining hall to tease Breadtalk the moment they knew. I stuck my head out from the kitchen and peeped at how it was going. I saw Horse's face. She was having a ball of a time horsing around (bad pun intended) and playing along, enjoying her revenge I guess. Oh well I have no doubt that she would be good at flaunting how desirable she was to Breadtalk to have her fun so I went back to cooking, knowing that Breadtalk would be trying his best to deny that fact in fear that Horse believed that he liked her. I guess I would get to see a serious Breadtalk for quite some time and trust me that's rarer than a blue moon for me. And a serious Breadtalk is unusually funny as well. Hehehe.

I brought out my freshly baked white chocolate fraise pie once I was done and we feasted our way to usher in a new crush. Breadtalk and Horse! I knew better though. I just hoped that what I just did would help them both get over this faster. Then we drank the night away as usual, high as we can ever be.

I realised the next phase of our RR lives would be coming along now. I found my new profession and I knew which direction I would be taking off in. Soup was about to take his trained army for expeditions to train them now. Beathoven was busy with administrative matters for Carnival including trade and affilations. Horse had an upcoming festival she was preparing for and she even made all of us act in a skit for that. Breadtalk... Well he was just busy being Breadtalk. The foundation was brilliantly done. Onward we press in our journey towards Ragnarök.

-Eleven months later-

“And Horse does it again!!!!!” An enthusiastic voice screamed into the microphone.