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A note from acelore

sorry for being inactive for so long. I wasn't happy with how the story was running.

looking for feedback on this writing style. I'm trying to get everything to originate from the story's world. including the text.

If any old readers around they'll know I tried doing this from the perspective of a book but kept the usual writing style most authors use. trying to do it with a sword this time around but with a "lore friendly" writing style. let me know what you think.

{

Incident and surroundings log status: [active]

Active Ai log check status: |active|

System log status: {active}

}

 

[A dark cave. water drips off the stalactites on the ceiling into the water below. An underground lake pushing back the darkness in the cave with a faint light radiating from within. Silence is the norm with only an occasional small animal scuttling around.

On a small island, barely risen above the water line, we have finally arrived at the location of the last core]

There's your last core you shitty sword!! Now be quick and tell me what this has been about!

[Master doesn't seem very happy]

You've been dragging me around multiple dimensions. it about time you give me an explanation. My patience run out a long time ago!

If you don't tell me everything now, the next time you find yourself in pieces. scattered throughout the dimension. It will be because I did it personally.

|Patience master, I need to integrate the core first.|

[Master lets himself slump to the ground. He grumbles something unintelligible as I proceed to integrate the last core]

{

Quick systems checkup...

All systems running with acceptable parameters!

Detecting new core....

Waiting for authorization..... autonomous subroutine detected.... self-authorization finalized.

Core successfully installed!

Syncing and decrypting data...

Calculating required time...

Intelligence Unit override... All active programs switched to passive mode.... Multiple incoming lifeforms detected... Switching to combat mode.

}

|Master I have placed integrating of the core on hold. Multiple signals closing in on our location. ETA 1 minute.|

[With a heavy sigh, master stands up and unsheathes the sword.]

Right as I thought I could get some rest!

When I thought I could finally get answers, these annoying guys show up again.

You better hurry up next time, shitty sword. I don't want to fight these bastards again after this.

Switch to combat mode.

|Combat mode is active. operating at 20% of capacity|

If you are gonna have me fight, at least get me 100% dammit!

[loud noises echo off the cave walls, as stalactites and pieces of the cave ceiling crash into the lake below. slashing with the sword, master blows the rubble to the side with a gust sub-routine.]

Have skywalk ready. do the calculations for me.

|You should learn the subroutine names.|

Whats the point? I'm done after this. just do it! Do the usual routines as well

/Easy mode as always I see/

I'm not in the mood for you snide remarks right now. Get to work!

{SubroutineZeta(Automatic parameters); CombatRoutines(standby);}

|Zeta confirmed. All other routines on standby|

[Using the zeta subroutine to generate footholds in the air, master slowly skywalks to meet the oncoming enemies. A few shadows emerge through the hole in the cave ceiling as the dust scatters. ]

Just eight of you huh?

[

leaning slightly forward, with the sword in a low position pointing down and backwards. The acceleration gate subroutine is automatically called up. Dashing forward before the enemy can get a hang of their surrounding, master disappears between the stalactites leaving 2 enemies to fall towards the water, both cut clean into two halves.

The enemies quickly form a defensive circle in the air and scan the surrounding stalactites.

]

|Warning 15% energy remaining!!|

Argh, shut it! you shitty sword.

|That was an automatic system message, you set it up not me.|

Ahh shit, o well. Enough time has passed anyway.

[Both sounds echo through the cave as the circle of enemies turn towards the voices. the roar of a sudden explosion shakes the cave and shatters the circle of enemies from the centre.

After a slight delay, 5 splashes are heard hitting the water below.

]

 

Did the last one get vaporized?

/Still detecting life signals./

Besides the bastard watching from outside?

/Affirmative/

Tenacious bastards. What a drag.

[Glancing at the hole in the cave ceiling master shouts.]

Oy sneaky bastard up there, how about you stop hiding and join in? I haven't got all day.

Come join your friend here I don't have the energy to waste killing you all one by one.

 

[The shadow of a human figure blocks part of the moonlight and a calm  reply is heard from above.]

 

You have gotten cocky since we last met, boy! I have come to get my property back.

This sword? 

First of all who the fuck are you!?

 

 

 

 

 

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A note from acelore

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this prologue. I should be posting one or 2 chapters per week for now. The first month is just for feedback, To see how this writing style works out. so all feedback is appreciated.


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acelore

Bio: i like reading, i do game design and love world building, having a go at writing

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Belgarion @Belgarion ago

Hey, seems interesting so far. I am willing to see where this goes. also cause now I want to know what is happening. darn plot hooks.

Brono10b @Brono10b ago

Can you work a little more on grammar? Phrases without capital letters are a mood killer

1HP_and_a_dream @1HP_and_a_dream ago

which language's stucture are you using for the program bit of the story? or as inspiration for it?

    acelore
    Author

    acelore @acelore ago

    For now not a specific one. Not actually sure how much programming i want to put in it. Its something that will be important a little bit later in the story. Mostly used c# myself though, so most will be based on that.

Garretgaryson @Garretgaryson ago

About time I have a time waster, I hate being productive.

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